Remembering

April 8, 2011.  2 years ago today.  That was the last time anyone heard from my brother.  The days that followed were hard, painful, confusing, uplifting, reaffirming, and joyful all at the same time.  I took my girls on a date that Friday night to see a movie.  Sunday morning, my world came crashing down around me.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him.  I started a million emails to him to tell him a funny story or share a bad driving adventure with him.  I’ve seen movies he would love, watched our governmental system take turns that would turn his stomach, broken computers he would have loved to fix, and had a baby boy he will only meet in heaven someday.  These past 2 years have definitely been the hardest, most educational, and closest walk with Jesus I have ever had.  Even in his death, my Big Brother taught me lessons I would be lost without.  

Brian, I see a lot of you in Jake.  Physically, although he looks like a Baldwin, he definitely takes after you!  He as your gait, and your build.  He is smart as a whip, and has his teachers on their toes constantly.  And he has some of your mannerisms and habits, too.  Even at 6, I can see your influence on him.  He has your love of electronics and video games.  He has a lazy streak akin to yours, too.  And I think he has you beat on the “How To Tease Your Sister(s)” prize!  But most of all, he makes me smile.  Just like you did.  And the mischievous sparkle in his eye from you.

I miss you.  We all do.  Sometimes it’s purely selfish on my part thinking about our parents growing older and the responsibility of that all falling on me with no input from the smartest guy I know.  Other times it’s for my kids who won’t know their cool Uncle who buys them the “cool” gifts for birthdays and Christmas. And for you – you don’t get to know the Miracle of Finn and how he has completely changed so many things about our entire family.  But mostly, I just miss you.  Knowing you are there.  Being able to ask you questions, get advice, or vent frustrations.  Movie reviews, music critiques, restaurant recommendations.  All the good stuff you enjoyed.  I miss you every day.  Thankful to know you are in the arms of Jesus.  I’m jealous.  Love you more than you’ll ever know!

May 2004 - A Luau

 (For more about those days, see our page dedicated to his memory here on the blog)