Monday, January 3, 2011

21 Day Fast - Day 1

I woke up today with the full intention of doing my 30 minute workout.  The alarm went off.  I clicked snooze.  And my thoughts turned to my relationship with God and the commitment I have made for the next 21 days.  Two lines from a chorus I learned as a child entered my head: “I will enter His gates with thanks giving in my heart; I will enter His courts with praise.”  The snooze on the alarm went off again.  I clicked it off again – not ready to leave the thoughts and prayers behind.  So, I began to meditate on those lyrics from the song and pray about today.  Plus, it was warm in my bed lying next to my husband, and I was not ready to get up yet.  The alarm sounded again; and I clicked snooze.  I started thinking about how I felt physically – since at this point it was obvious I was not getting up to work out.  I vowed to do it this afternoon when I got home from work.  Physically, I feel good.  I feel stronger than I have in a long time.  I wake up rested; my back has healed nicely.  I know I am doing good things for my body – better things than I was, at least.  So I am excited about this fast and what it can do for my spirit.  The tones of the alarm break in, I press snooze.  Now it is painfully obvious my husband has to be awake, too, so I ask a few questions to get us on the same page for the day, and go back to praying about this season in our lives, and another emotion emerges: Nervousness.  I am nervous about the unknown.  How will I do this?  Am I strong enough, mentally?  Will I remember to pray and SEEK God when I am hungry or feel weak?  How will I fill the long boring hours that tend to happen at work?  Thankfully, this week should be pretty busy, but what about the 2 weeks after that?  The alarm sounded, for what would be the final time.  I turned it off, cuddled for a few more seconds with my husband, and made the decision to write about it.  So, with a prayerful mindset, I fired up the laptop, and wrote this.  God put this verse in my head (which was revealed during the sermon titled “First” from this past weekend):  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33. So, as I start day 1 of my 21 day season of seeking, I am starting here.  Humbled, scared, nervous, and READY!  I am excited to see what God shows me during this season.  I am excited to try new things with my diet.  I am driven to see how I can do this.  I know, with God, I am strong enough to do this.  This is a busy week – back to work, starting the new semester, a very emotional and trying funeral on Wednesday, starting a new volunteer position on the Executive board of my sorority on Sunday.  But, all of those things came to my because the enemy is upon me.  Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns. Matthew 16:23. I am committed to this fast.  I am committed to see it through and to help others in my life that have chosen this path as well.  Not only my husband, but the church staff, life group members, host team members, and friends.  This, Lord, is my prayer to you today.  Guide me, direct me, use me.  Amen.

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