Sunday, April 17, 2011

My New Normal

It’s Sunday morning.  Palm Sunday, no less.  It’s been one week.  ONE WEEK since I was at church, and a simple shake of my husband’s head with a tear in his eyes literally brought me to my knees.  One week since my “normal” was shifted completely off its axis.  One week, that feels like YEARS.

I now wake up suddenly awake, suddenly aware, suddenly stunned.  I used to hit my snooze on my phone like 5 times (I have it set for 5 minutes, so it’s not THAT bad) before I would actually crawl out of bed, and trudge to the bathroom.  This week, I wake up AWAKE, alert, and too aware of my new normal.  My mind spinning, my gut twisting, my heart breaking.   I want to get out of bed, just because I can.  I want to LIVE every moment that I have been blessed with.  I want to open the Word and seek God.  I want to hear the birds, see the trees, and be fully alert when my kids wander out of their rooms.  I want to FEEL ALIVE.

I wasn’t even supposed to be home this morning.  This 3rd weekend of the month is the one Britt and I usually serve at all 3 Sunday morning LifeChurch Stillwater services as Host Team Leaders.  We switched with another family since I was supposed to be in Oklahoma City.  I was thinking about that Friday night, and had convinced myself I didn’t need to go to church this morning.  Too emotional, too raw, too REAL.  Britt asked me last night if I was going, and I said no.  But, I think I will.  They say when you fall of a horse, you have to get back on.  And you know, my last post before this NIGHTMARE began was about taking the Twisters to see “Soul Surfer”  about Bethany Hamilton and how she survived a shark attack.  Well, I guess it’s my turn to survive.  THIS is my shark attack.

I start each day in a quiet place, in God’s word.  In these modern times, that means, for me, in the living room, in my recliner, laptop perched on my lap, internet browser pointed to  Right now, I am reading 2 reading plans – one called the Essential 100 which covers the 100 most important passages of the bible, and Lent forEveryone which is a 53 day devotional about Lent – which lasts about another week (I think it goes 3 days past Easter, for some reason).  After I read my 2 readings, I pray.  Then, sometimes, I write (like today).  But I ALWAYS find a verse that God is speaking to me and I post it to my Twitter and Facebook.  Not everyone starts their day in study like my husband and I choose to do, but I can at least help some of my friends start their day with God’s word.  I am going to share with you here this week’s verses.

April 10 – Sunday:  Psalm 130:5 - I wait for the lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.

April 12 – Tuesday:  Psalm 91:4 - He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. ( I missed Monday)

April 13 – Wednesday:  Isaiah 40:31 - but those who hope in the lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.  

April 14 – Thursday:  Romans 5:3 - We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. 

April 15 - Friday:  Hebrews 10:23 - Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise.
April 16 – Saturday: Philippians 4:6 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

April 17 – Sunday (today):  1 Corinthians 16:13 - Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love.

I hope you can find strength and encouragement in those verses just as we have.  And, if you want to start your day in the word, just a little bit, you can follow me on Twitter   – even have it sent to your phone if you want!  It’s as easy as that.  The more we know God, the more we know peace.

I’d better rally the troops (and count my new gray hairs – there’s a LOT of them suddenly).  Church starts at 10:00 for us today.  Family is starting to roll in.  My cousin got here yesterday afternoon from New York City with her ADORABLE 6 month old son.  She brought gifts to Emma, Lara and Jake.  They will all 3 be wearing New York City tourist-y shirts to church this morning!  I’m sure I’ll snap a pic of that…

1 comment:

  1. You're right. I do not have to get up....I can. I can go to church not I have to. New way to think of things today.