A day without you

Monday morning we woke up in a warm home, filled with life and love and people (and a GIANT Great Dane named “Morty” who just wanted to cuddle. He was HUGE! I’m not sure how you cuddle a dog that big!). My mom, Britt and I gathered in the owner’s office with a legal pad, a pen, and our spinning minds. I’ve taken many spiritual gifts tests in my life, and one that always ends up somewhere near the top is administration, so my GIFT is currently in over drive. We made lists. A list of things to get accomplished at the house today. A list of questions for his employer. A list of questions for an attorney or some sort of legal counsel. A list of things to buy at Home Depot or Lowe’s so we could start cleaning the house. A list of things to tell or ask the neighbor lady who said she would watch the house for us. A list of the people I didn’t get to on Facebook because they banned me from sending messages – thought I was a spammer I had sent so many! A list of service providers for things Brian used in his house. I finally started to feel focused and useful at this point.

We found a Home Depot not far from where we were staying and bought cleaning supplies and giant trash bags. Once back to the house, we emptied the fridge, the pantry, and both bathrooms of any consumables that would need to be thrown away. We found a brick of like 24 bars of soap that only had one missing, so I brought it back to Stillwater with me to give to my dear friend who organizes supplies for people in need. Again – nice to feel useful at this point. We worked HARD on the house all morning – looking for car titles, insurance information, his income taxes (we found a carbon of a check dated 2 more days out for the tax money he owed, but we couldn’t find the paperwork or the actual check, so we assume he mailed it…). Created 8 bags of trash and were thrilled to learn trash day was Tuesday so I could just leave it all at the curb and it would soon be gone! And my sweet husband found a set of papers that we have all clung to for the last 2 days. He found the check-out papers from the walk-in clinic Brian had visited mid-day on Friday.

We know that he checked in there at 11:35. We know his chief complaint was a sore throat and the onset was 3 days prior. We know that his temperature (98.3), blood pressure, pulse, oxygen levels and other vital statistics were WELL within all normal ranges. We know he was diagnosed with Streptococcal pharyngitis (Strep Throat) and was prescribed Amoxicillin (which was time stamped 1:03pm). The papers were beside his recliner chair – right near where the police found the Rx bottle. These papers were quite a comfort – but also raised more questions. While it was a comfort to know he was not terribly sick at the time he went (from what we can tell), it points no fingers as to what happened once he got home – which we can tell was sudden and violent. We filed the papers in the fireproof lock box we had found, and continued on with our work.

After a quick lunch at Taco Cabana – a family tradition for both my parents and the Dream Weavers when we strayed with Brian as it was close to his house, something we don’t have in Stillwater, and OH SO Yummy – we went to Irving to meet with the CEO, HR Director and a few other key employees at Brian’s work. We had a laptop of theirs to return, and they had information about life insurance, Cobra coverage for Kayleigh, final paychecks, and personal affects in his Cubicle. We got lost on the way there, which led to this tweet:

A moment of frustration for sure – my GPS and the directions the CEO had given me over the phone didn’t exactly match up, plus there was a road closed right in front of the building we were going to, and we had to go ½ a mile out of the way to get back to it. It was hot, and I was tired and dirty. But, I did the metroplex rat race for 8 years; I’ll stay in my little town to do my living! Anyway, we spent a good amount of time gleaning information from them, then they lead us to his cubicle where we got to meet some of his team members (who were all crushed, shocked and saddened), and clean out his cube. The company had just moved to this location, and all Brian had there was a Texas Rangers cup for water, a blue tooth mouse that weighs more than my head, and one lone framed picture of his sweet daughter. Even the file drawers were empty. It was depressing, really.

We were all tired, and ready to go home, so when we got back to Brian’s house, we took a load of Kayleigh’s things over to her mother’s house, then loaded up Mom’s Malibu and our Derek (Uplander van) and headed north. It was about 5:45 when we pulled out. Britt drove Derek, and I drove mom in the Malibu. Daddy was at my house in Stillwater listening to my kiddos sleep when we got in to Stillwater about 10:15. We unloaded what was staying in my garage for storage, reloaded what was going to my mom’s house into her car, and bid farewell for the evening. I was so glad to be home; we were greeted by a house that had been thoroughly cleaned by my kids and my sister-in-love (I don’t think my kitchen sink has EVER looked that good!) and filled with roses of every kind – in every room! Emma had even made our bed, and Lara put a rose on each of our pillows. So incredible and such an act of love from our family. I will NEVER forget that!

This day was long, hard, emotional, tiring, uplifting, depressing, sad, reflective, hopeful, insightful, and even FUNNY (my mom kept losing her purse – forgetting where she had set it down – and she would say “I can’t find my purse. It’s yellow” as if telling us it was yellow would make it suddenly appear. Britt took this joke and ran with it. Every time anything was said about a purse, he would holler “It’s Yellow!”), but most importantly, it was BLESSED. This whole experience had led me even closer to God, deepened my faith, and restored my resolve to shine my light for Jesus.