The One With The "Adoptions"

April 24-26, 2020

Still on "Safer-At-Home" restrictions.  Still feeling the quarantine (to the tune of Dolly Parton's song "Jolene").  Still doing distance learning and trying to salvage the end of the semester.  And 2.5 weeks till the Twisters' 18th birthday.  The days all look the same, but they keep marching on!  The official end of school date for both girls is May 14.  Still no word on Graduation ceremonies for either of them.  Emma is still mostly living in Ponca City and working at Napa in Newkirk.  Lara is here with us, spoiling her dog and doing homework between Netflix binges.

So, this new "thing" popped up on Facebook recently.  All of the country and in a few different formats.  Pages where you can "Adopt a 2020 Senior" and spoil them with fun graduation gifts.  Britt thought it would be fun to put Emma and Lara on an Oklahoma based page, so he did.  Then I put them on a different Oklahoma adoption page that I was invited to.  So, they have been "adopted" by strangers.  One page, the same woman adopted them both.  The other page, they were adopted separately.  We are excited to see what comes in the mail in the next few weeks!  We also adopted a Senior from Enid and are currently collecting fun things for his box!  It's fun shopping for a young man for a change!

Sunday, the stay at home situation got to us all a little bit.  Lara had a bit of a breakdown because other parents are not following the rules as closely as we are.  But, she has asthma, and Finn has Chronic Lung Disease, so exposure for us is not an option.  I know it sucks.  I know its hard.  I know it can be boring.  I know.  But we're trying to make the most of it!

The only picture I have from this weekend is of Evie.  In Lara's NEERS shirt...

And a parting thought...

3 more entries...

The One With The Last Dance

April 17 - 19, 2020

So many lasts - happening in a new, FIRST kind of way.  Like the Social Distancing Prom trend on social media.  Emma found this to be interesting, and intriguing.  And in true Emma fashion, she MADE IT HAPPEN!  She came back to Orlando from her home in Ponca City on Saturday to get dressed up on her prom dress.  She called her oldest and best guy friend, Brock, and talked him into it well.  Got her step-mom, and Brock's mom to take some pictures.  And it was EPIC!  Thes photos speak for themselves!

These two best friends forever went to their first school dance together in 6th grade and just couldn’t fathom not getting to have the last one so they made their own. This is just another in a long line of memories these two share!

Lara also had the last of something this weekend, too.  Her last (sort-of) "Senior Night."  The baseball season was basically non-existent.  She has no pictures from this very short season.  But this week, the baseball coaches highlighted one of the 9 seniors and their trainer on social media.  Each day was dedicated to a senior and their memories.  Saturday was Lara's day!  Her final senior sports season came to a new, FIRST kind of end.  And we are so proud of her!

A little more than 3 weeks until they turn 18 and their Senior Year comes to a dramatic, early "official" end.  Still not 100% sure what graduation will look like... *sigh*  This is not at all what I had imagined...

The One with More Quarantine

April 10 - 12, 2020

This week seemed just like the last.  And the one before that.  Same 4 walls.  Same 5 people.  Same food.  Same quiet chaos.  We've been just like this for over a month now.  Technically, the kids and Britt started this before I joined in.  I was at work until March Wednesday, March 25.  The kids started being home all day on March 16.  There is no end in sight.  School ends on May 15th now.  One day after the Twisters became adults. Adults in a crazy, uncertain world.  It seems appropriately ironic that Spotify is playing Louis Armstrong "What a Wonderful World" right now for me...

Nothing really to report.  Sunday was Easter.  The Easter Bunny brought treats to those some-bunnies on Greystone STreet.  We watched church from our grey sectional couch on the big LG tv.  And we had our annual egg smash.  Finn won and got the golden bunny to eat.  There were dog walks, lots of TV, maybe a little homeschool.  Netflix. Fortnite, memes, and lots of food.  Our coping mechanisms are Netflix, blankets, and snacks.  LOL!

Easter Baskets

Kids before the Easter Smash contest

The incredible shrinking Lara

There was this Facebook thing...

And, as is customary for me during the Coronacation, I have to leave you with a meme that made me laugh this week.  Here we go!

The One That Should Have Had a Prom

April 3 - 5, 2020

What a weird time we are living in.  We have marked everything on our calendar for the month of April as "CANCELLED."  It's sad.  But, it's also nice for a break.  Less rush.  More family time.  More people out walking the neighborhood.  More people checking in on each other.  More kindness.  More love.  I hope it stays that way when things go back to "normal."

I am cherishing this "extra" time with my kids and family.  I get all these extra hours with my Lara Beth before she goes off to college.  Emma has basically moved out of her dad's house and is finishing her semester in Newkirk working for her grandpa and doing her online schooling.  They both have had their last day of school rescheduled for May 15.  ONE DAY after they turn 18.

But there was no Prom on Saturday, April 4.  No make-up appointments.  No hair appointments.  No pictures.  No glam and glitz.  Emma's prom was supposed to be here in Stillwater at the Community Center.  Lara's was to be in the Student Union Ballroom on the OSU campus.  Lara was supposed to take the ACT one last time this day.  And Emma was going to attend Greek discovery day on campus.  None of this happened.  We did get to celebrate Nana's birthday with a drive-by greeting though!

We also got to participate in a fun community social media video challenge.  Our elementary school, Westwood, was challenging folks to make a video of themselves singing the school song.  Lara was nominated by her babysitting client, Gabe (she is his summer Nanny).  He nominated Lara, and his big brother Luke.  Lara and Luke were in the same second-grade class at Westwood 10 years ago (with Mrs. Fox, same teacher Jake had and Finn currently has).  This was her challenge.  She challenged Mrs. Fox and her brothers!


(peep the shirt!!!) 
We spent some time working on graduation announcements this weekend, too.  We got mailing lists together, chose the pictures to put on them, designed them, and now we wait.  Do we wait to see if there is a date for this?  Do we send them now to be ahead of the curve?  What do we do?!?  More on that in a later installment...

Tomorrow, Monday, April 6, we "go back to school."  Distance Learning.  Packets.  Zoom meetings.  Each kid doing different things at different times.  We'll see how it goes!

We had an idea over the weekend to honor the Stillwater High School Class of 2020 and leave a legacy from them for the high school.  Stay tuned for updates next week...

In the meantime:

I got to be a guest blogger!

The month of March came in like a lion, alright!  And then she roared, and roared, and roared some more.  The end of the month looked NOTHING like the beginning of the month.  We made it to March 9 feeling pretty normal.  That week we experienced a slight shift.  The next week?  A seismic event.  And since then, we have been living with the falling debris and the aftermath of a worldwide pandemic.

In the midst of it all, my department which I am a student in started a blog.  The faculty leadership for Higher Education and Studnet affairs is working to make sure their students are doing alright.  This is a place for our community to come together, to share resources, and to navigate this storm together.  I was asked to contribute.  And it was just what I needed!  We're All in this Together.

I am adding a link to the original post on the HESA blog here, but I am also pasting the text in for my own posterity.  This post was originally written on Friday, March 27, 2020.  After a bit of editing, it was posted on Friday, April 3, 2020.  Thank you for letting me share.

We’re All in This Together

By Betsey D. Weaver*

I had my first online class, post-Spring Semester Shutdown 2020, last night.  I wasn’t ready. 

The past 3 weeks have been a whirlwind of activity.  The world will never be the same one we woke up to the week of March 9, 2020.

The flurry of change, innovation, emotional mayhem, copious amounts of (mis)information, and general commotion has left us all feeling a bit beaten down. 

I wasn’t ready.

I am a mom.  I am a wife, an employee, a grad student.  I hold leadership positions on volunteer boards. I am Gen X.  I am an introvert and an Enneagram 6.  I am married to a Baby Boomer, and together we are raising 3 Gen Z kids and a little dude in the yet-to-be-named “Alpha” generation.  We have elderly parents close by.  Our twin daughters were set to graduate from high school in a few weeks (and rise to be OSU Freshman in a few months), and they – along with the entire nation’s Class of 2020 – had their final semester of their senior high school year snatched out of their arms.  They had their last day of school without even knowing it.  No spring sports, no prom, no senior trips, no friends to make memories with and, potentially, no graduation.  One of my daughters had a Spring Break trip canceled mere hours before they were to board the bus.  My younger boys have enjoyed a week of Fortnite (ALL NIGHT), but they will be adjusting to their new distance learning lifestyle soon. 

None of us were ready.

But how could we be ready?

It all happened so FAST:

• Monday, March 9 – Everyone is gearing up for Spring Break; Coronavirus is all over Europe, but America still feels largely untouched.
• Tuesday, March 10 – The first round of Study Abroad Spring Break trips are canceled; OSU emails 1st Coronavirus contingency plan and restricts travel.
• Wednesday, March 11 – Many more Study Abroad Spring Break trips are canceled; more travel restrictions issued; OSU restricts personal travel.
• Thursday, March 12 – OSU declares they are moving to online classes for the 2 weeks after Spring Break; OSU creates COVID-19 info page and FAQ on their website. (My daughter is devastated by her domestic Spring Break trip being canceled.)
• Friday, March 13 – OSU cancels all Summer Study Abroad courses.
• Monday, March 16 – OSU reduces campus services, encourages social distancing, some offices begin telecommuting.
• Tuesday, March 17 – OSU hosts a Faculty/Staff virtual Town Hall meeting to sharing information. (Stillwater Public Schools announce no school for the 2 weeks following Spring Break.)
• Wednesday, March 18 – OSU announces ALL CLASSES will go online for the remainder of the semester; OSU implements temporary operation plan and urges all workers to telecommute if possible.
• Thursday, March 19 – all OSU Stillwater campus events are moved online for the foreseeable future.
• Friday, March 20 – New Human Resource plans released, along with stricter travel restrictions.  OSU Library and branches transition to virtual service.
• Monday, March 23 – OSU hosts Student and Parent Virtual Town Hall meeting.  Bursar announces credits and refunds coming.  Student Union announces it will be closing to the public at 6 pm on Tuesday.  My office (essential student services office) can now close doors to the public; 1/3 of the staff still reporting to work in the office.
• Tuesday, March 24 – Pass / No Pass grading option for students is announced.
• Wednesday, March 25 – Academic deadlines are extended; ALL CAMPUS BUILDINGS CLOSE TO THE PUBLIC. (All Oklahoma Public Elementary and Secondary schools are closed for the rest of the academic year and all instruction will move to distance learning beginning April 6.) *This was my first day of telecommuting and staying Safer at Home.

And then, Thursday, March 26, happened.

Photo by Tomas Anunziata on Pexels.com

I wasn’t ready.

This was a ROUGH day for me.  And based on my social media feeds, it was rough for a lot of my friends as well.  I quit my job at one point (but only for about an hour).  I dropped both my classes (in my head, anyway).  I cried. A lot. 

I mourned the campus being closed, a campus I have been on for almost all of my life.  I grieved the Senior Year memories my precious twins had yanked away without them even realizing it.  I lamented working from home and missing my favorite coworkers.

I pined for the time I had lost during the chaos of the last 3 weeks and how I was so far behind in both my grad classes.  And, I felt so isolated.  Alone.

Forlorn.

Photo by Juhasz Imre on Pexels.com

But, as I am accustomed to doing, I . . .

Got up.

Dressed up.

Showed up.

And I vowed to never give up on my Thursday night class. I am strong.

I have gotten through worse.  Heck, I was 12 seconds pregnant when the second of the Twin Towers fell in New York City on September 11, 2001.  I can do this!  Time to exercise my resiliency. 

But I wasn’t ready.

I wasn’t ready for the compassion shown by my professor, 10 years my junior but somehow wiser than I’ll ever be.  I wasn’t ready for the haggard looks of my cherished classmates on Zoom.  There are only 6 of us, and many of us have been together for several courses at this point–untidy hair, comfortable clothing, and sallow, sunken eyes.  I wasn’t ready for the adjustments and accommodations presented to help us all SUCCESSFULLY complete this course and meet the learning objectives.

I wasn’t ready for the sensitive subject matter to hit my heart and punch me in the gut.  I wasn’t ready for my friends’ broken voices and tear-streaked cheeks. 

But the biggest, most beautiful thing I wasn’t ready for? 

Grace. 

All the amazing grace shown by the 7 of us in that Zoom meeting room. 

We were all struggling.

We are all weary. 

We all have lives, family members, situations that seem lost and out of control.  We all feel the weight of finishing a semester that 3 weeks ago still felt normal.  And all this grace led me to a place of peace. 

I slept well last night.  Better than I have in weeks.  I know I am not alone.  We are all in this together. I know I have a community around me.  I know we will all get through this semester, and be stronger, more resilient because of it. 

And I have a lot of grace to share. 

If you need an ear, reach out; I’ll listen.  If you just want to hear a voice, I’ll talk.  Karaoke on YouTube? Hit me up.  Find your community.  Show them grace.  Let them fill your cup.  2020 has come in like a wrecking ball.  My 17 year old said it best:

Roll with the punches, hold on to the ones you love, laugh – A LOT.

And oh!  The stories we will have for our grandkids and other younger relatives! 

(P.S.  I can still do the dance from the Disney movie with the famous All in This Together song…)

*Betsey D. Weaver, Assistant Registrar, Oklahoma State University, a current M.S. student in Higher Education Administration.