Guest Blogger: EMMA HORINEK

This is a guest post from my daughter, Emma.  Twin A, fragile like a bomb, wild and free, but cares so deeply.  This is a recent photo of her with her sweet boyfriend, Austin, who helped fight the wildfires yesterday along the Oklahoma and Kansas border.  Emma is "#1" in the post I wrote about the craziness of yesterday.

Yesterday was a little grounding for me and made me remember to count my blessings. 

I experienced a fire, my significant other experience a fire, my little brother experienced a fire (and his baseball senior night!) and my other little big brother experienced a tornado. Then my mom and stepdad along with my sister, my littlest brother, and their dogs evacuated their house due to a wildfire. Finally, when we got settled in I saw the news that one of my friends from high school lost their house to a wildfire. All this, yesterday. 

So my story starts when I was on my way to Stillwater and Austin Spielman called me to tell me that he was needed to help fight a fire in Silverdale. He told me he just finished filling the water tank on his truck as well as the water trailer and he was headed out. When I arrive at my eye doctor appointment in Stillwater a tree had caught fire in the parking lot due to getting caught in a powerline and the power went out, I was not able to finish my appointment. (I am getting glasses tho) During this time my brother was fighting fires in Osage County. When I left the eye doctor, I called my mom to tell her what had happened and she informed me that she was evacuating with the rest of the Weaver household due to a wildfire in Guthrie, Oklahoma. I made it home from Stillwater and later on in the evening had dinner with Austin then we were relaxing at a friend's house and he got the call. He had to go back out. It was 4 AM before he got home and while he was out, I was looking through Facebook and found out about my friend. My big little brother was headed up to Memphis Tennessee for basketball and they had a couple of run-ins with tornadoes due to this crazy weather. 

Yesterday could have ended so badly for me and so many people close to me but I thank God today that it didn’t.

I got to be a guest blogger!

The month of March came in like a lion, alright!  And then she roared, and roared, and roared some more.  The end of the month looked NOTHING like the beginning of the month.  We made it to March 9 feeling pretty normal.  That week we experienced a slight shift.  The next week?  A seismic event.  And since then, we have been living with the falling debris and the aftermath of a worldwide pandemic.

In the midst of it all, my department which I am a student in started a blog.  The faculty leadership for Higher Education and Studnet affairs is working to make sure their students are doing alright.  This is a place for our community to come together, to share resources, and to navigate this storm together.  I was asked to contribute.  And it was just what I needed!  We're All in this Together.

I am adding a link to the original post on the HESA blog here, but I am also pasting the text in for my own posterity.  This post was originally written on Friday, March 27, 2020.  After a bit of editing, it was posted on Friday, April 3, 2020.  Thank you for letting me share.

We’re All in This Together

By Betsey D. Weaver*

I had my first online class, post-Spring Semester Shutdown 2020, last night.  I wasn’t ready. 

The past 3 weeks have been a whirlwind of activity.  The world will never be the same one we woke up to the week of March 9, 2020.

The flurry of change, innovation, emotional mayhem, copious amounts of (mis)information, and general commotion has left us all feeling a bit beaten down. 

I wasn’t ready.

I am a mom.  I am a wife, an employee, a grad student.  I hold leadership positions on volunteer boards. I am Gen X.  I am an introvert and an Enneagram 6.  I am married to a Baby Boomer, and together we are raising 3 Gen Z kids and a little dude in the yet-to-be-named “Alpha” generation.  We have elderly parents close by.  Our twin daughters were set to graduate from high school in a few weeks (and rise to be OSU Freshman in a few months), and they – along with the entire nation’s Class of 2020 – had their final semester of their senior high school year snatched out of their arms.  They had their last day of school without even knowing it.  No spring sports, no prom, no senior trips, no friends to make memories with and, potentially, no graduation.  One of my daughters had a Spring Break trip canceled mere hours before they were to board the bus.  My younger boys have enjoyed a week of Fortnite (ALL NIGHT), but they will be adjusting to their new distance learning lifestyle soon. 

None of us were ready.

But how could we be ready?

It all happened so FAST:

• Monday, March 9 – Everyone is gearing up for Spring Break; Coronavirus is all over Europe, but America still feels largely untouched.
• Tuesday, March 10 – The first round of Study Abroad Spring Break trips are canceled; OSU emails 1st Coronavirus contingency plan and restricts travel.
• Wednesday, March 11 – Many more Study Abroad Spring Break trips are canceled; more travel restrictions issued; OSU restricts personal travel.
• Thursday, March 12 – OSU declares they are moving to online classes for the 2 weeks after Spring Break; OSU creates COVID-19 info page and FAQ on their website. (My daughter is devastated by her domestic Spring Break trip being canceled.)
• Friday, March 13 – OSU cancels all Summer Study Abroad courses.
• Monday, March 16 – OSU reduces campus services, encourages social distancing, some offices begin telecommuting.
• Tuesday, March 17 – OSU hosts a Faculty/Staff virtual Town Hall meeting to sharing information. (Stillwater Public Schools announce no school for the 2 weeks following Spring Break.)
• Wednesday, March 18 – OSU announces ALL CLASSES will go online for the remainder of the semester; OSU implements temporary operation plan and urges all workers to telecommute if possible.
• Thursday, March 19 – all OSU Stillwater campus events are moved online for the foreseeable future.
• Friday, March 20 – New Human Resource plans released, along with stricter travel restrictions.  OSU Library and branches transition to virtual service.
• Monday, March 23 – OSU hosts Student and Parent Virtual Town Hall meeting.  Bursar announces credits and refunds coming.  Student Union announces it will be closing to the public at 6 pm on Tuesday.  My office (essential student services office) can now close doors to the public; 1/3 of the staff still reporting to work in the office.
• Tuesday, March 24 – Pass / No Pass grading option for students is announced.
• Wednesday, March 25 – Academic deadlines are extended; ALL CAMPUS BUILDINGS CLOSE TO THE PUBLIC. (All Oklahoma Public Elementary and Secondary schools are closed for the rest of the academic year and all instruction will move to distance learning beginning April 6.) *This was my first day of telecommuting and staying Safer at Home.

And then, Thursday, March 26, happened.

Photo by Tomas Anunziata on Pexels.com

I wasn’t ready.

This was a ROUGH day for me.  And based on my social media feeds, it was rough for a lot of my friends as well.  I quit my job at one point (but only for about an hour).  I dropped both my classes (in my head, anyway).  I cried. A lot. 

I mourned the campus being closed, a campus I have been on for almost all of my life.  I grieved the Senior Year memories my precious twins had yanked away without them even realizing it.  I lamented working from home and missing my favorite coworkers.

I pined for the time I had lost during the chaos of the last 3 weeks and how I was so far behind in both my grad classes.  And, I felt so isolated.  Alone.

Forlorn.

Photo by Juhasz Imre on Pexels.com

But, as I am accustomed to doing, I . . .

Got up.

Dressed up.

Showed up.

And I vowed to never give up on my Thursday night class. I am strong.

I have gotten through worse.  Heck, I was 12 seconds pregnant when the second of the Twin Towers fell in New York City on September 11, 2001.  I can do this!  Time to exercise my resiliency. 

But I wasn’t ready.

I wasn’t ready for the compassion shown by my professor, 10 years my junior but somehow wiser than I’ll ever be.  I wasn’t ready for the haggard looks of my cherished classmates on Zoom.  There are only 6 of us, and many of us have been together for several courses at this point–untidy hair, comfortable clothing, and sallow, sunken eyes.  I wasn’t ready for the adjustments and accommodations presented to help us all SUCCESSFULLY complete this course and meet the learning objectives.

I wasn’t ready for the sensitive subject matter to hit my heart and punch me in the gut.  I wasn’t ready for my friends’ broken voices and tear-streaked cheeks. 

But the biggest, most beautiful thing I wasn’t ready for? 

Grace. 

All the amazing grace shown by the 7 of us in that Zoom meeting room. 

We were all struggling.

We are all weary. 

We all have lives, family members, situations that seem lost and out of control.  We all feel the weight of finishing a semester that 3 weeks ago still felt normal.  And all this grace led me to a place of peace. 

I slept well last night.  Better than I have in weeks.  I know I am not alone.  We are all in this together. I know I have a community around me.  I know we will all get through this semester, and be stronger, more resilient because of it. 

And I have a lot of grace to share. 

If you need an ear, reach out; I’ll listen.  If you just want to hear a voice, I’ll talk.  Karaoke on YouTube? Hit me up.  Find your community.  Show them grace.  Let them fill your cup.  2020 has come in like a wrecking ball.  My 17 year old said it best:

Roll with the punches, hold on to the ones you love, laugh – A LOT.

And oh!  The stories we will have for our grandkids and other younger relatives! 

(P.S.  I can still do the dance from the Disney movie with the famous All in This Together song…)

*Betsey D. Weaver, Assistant Registrar, Oklahoma State University, a current M.S. student in Higher Education Administration.

Guest Blogger: One and a Half

Hello!  It’s Finn.  I took over Mommy’s blog and I’m here to tell you all about me today – since it is my half birthday!  I am 18 months old TODAY!  I have 10 teeth (4 on top, 6 on bottom) with 2 more (top) on the way.  I weigh just about 20 pounds, and I am 30 inches tall.  I am walking ALL OVER the place – mastered that about a week ago.  I still don’t have any “words,” but I love to babble and tell stories!  I like to point, shake my head, and count other people’s teeth.  I can clap – I’ve done it like 5 times in my whole life.  I think that’s enough.  I always wake up happy and smiley and ready to play – even if the light is too bright in my room to really open my eyes very wide!  I think it’s funny to shake my head back and forth, and I still can crawl like greased lighting to get away from you!  I like o wave, too.  Not at any predictable time, and usually at nothing in particular, but I do it!  Daddy says it is a "dainty" wave.  What does that mean?  I like to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Sofia the First as well as Jake and the Neverland Pirates on Disney Channel.  My favorite foods are whatever everyone else is eating!  I love pudding, Puffs snacks, and milk.  And Squeezy Food!  That’s what Mom and Dad call the purees in the pouches that are made for toddlers.  I drink out of a sippy cup, but only if it has a soft spout.  Mommy tires to trick me with those ones with the hard spout, but I just throw them back at her.  I love to climb on anything and everything – my climbing toy, fireplace hearth, couch, bed, chairs, things I shouldn’t – and I am even getting good at getting myself out of sticky situations!  I love being in a big family – Jake is the best big brother I could ever ask for, and Emma and Lara are great babysitters – most of the time.

Here are a few pictures of me on my Half Birthday – ALWAYS on the move!  Mommy says that is why I am so skinny!

For my Half Birthday, I would like to ask my friends to help me make my fundraising goal for the March of Dimes Oklahoma City March for Babies.  I am marching with the Mercy Miracles team, and I have set a fundraising goal of $126.00.  The march is on May 4, so I have about a month to reach my goal!  (Along with my parents and siblings, I am still serving as the Ambassador Family for the Stillwater March for Babies in September, but I wanted to be a part of this team as well.)  I am a Mercy Miracle, having graduated from the 12 week NICU course in 2011.  I am so grateful for the nurses, practitioners, doctors, therapists and other staff that made my visit bearable and taught my parents how to be preemie parents.  They, along with the research funded by the March of Dimes, saved my life.  I would not be here today if not for ALL of them, and I want to show my support. 

So, here’s my ½ birthday WISH LIST:

• 1 person to donate $126.00
• 2 people to donate $63.00 each
• 3 people to donate $42.00 each
• 4 people to donate $31.50 each
• 6 people to donate $21.00 each
• 8 people to donate $15.75 each
• 12 people to donate $10.50 each

Click on my MERCY MIRACLES FINN WEAVER SAYS page to make your donation!  And you can join the Facebook event as well.  We would love to see you on the 4^th at Myriad Gardens in Oklahoma City and have you March for Babies with us!  Be sure and let me Mommy know if you have ANY questions - and keep watching "The Early Adventures of Finn" Facebook and my Twitter for more updates!  Let's CRUSH this!

Guest Blogger: Finn’s Big Adventure

This past weekend, I got to go on my first real “trip” of any kind!  It was my Daddy’s 30^th High School Reunion in his hometown of Enid, OK, and Big Brother Jake and I got to tag along!  Daddy was so excited about this trip!  He was on the planning committee for the reunion, and he had worked really hard getting things together for it.  He even made the super cool name badges that all the attendees got to wear!  Mommy was excited to – she got to spend the whole weekend with Daddy and meet all these people he was always talking about!

The plan was for me and Jake to bunk at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, while Mommy and Daddy got a hotel room in town.  The girls were staying in Stillwater because they had practices and games to go to.  So, after everyone got home from school on Friday afternoon, we headed out!  After we checked Mommy and Daddy in to the hotel, Mommy, Daddy, Jake and I were off to find a parking place for the Enid High School Homecoming Football game.  We ate dinner at a big tailgate outside the stadium, and I charmed everyone in line, and tried to help Mommy and Daddy as they carried 3 plates of food, drinks, and napkins, kept Jake from spilling things, and hold me!  I’m so cute they didn’t even care!  I ate some cheese and part of a bun while sitting on top of the table.  That was FUN!  Mommy told all those around us all about me while Daddy passed out name tags.  I really had fun at the game, but I sure was glad when we left – I was getting pretty sleepy from being so darn adorable!  I met lots of new faces, and I even let a couple of Daddy’s friends hold me for a few seconds!  But, I always wanted to go back to Mommy.

After the game, Jake and I got dropped off at Grandma and Grandpa’s so Mommy and Daddy could go to the bar with their friends.  But, I didn’t want them to leave me!  I didn’t realize when they left, but as soon as I figured it out, I let everyone know I was *NOT* happy about it!  After I screamed and carried on for about an hour, Grandpa called Daddy and my wonderful parents came back home to “rescue” me.  I had fallen asleep, so they tucked me in, and went back to the party.  Little did they know, I had a very restless night and woke Grandma and Grandpa up A LOT!  I just missed them so much!

Mommy and Daddy came to get us boys for breakfast early the next morning after spending the night in the hotel.  I was SO happy to see them!  And I loved breakfast at the high school and the tour.  Lots of new faces to smile and coo at!  Mommy got a little tired of carrying me, but Daddy said the stroller would be hard to use because the school has a lot of stairs.  I was happy with Mommy carrying me, anyway!  After we left the high school, I fell asleep in the car.  I hear they ordered some treats for my birthday party next week, whatever that means!  Later that afternoon, Daddy and Jake went swimming, while Mommy and I napped at the hotel.  I love naps with Mommy! *sigh*

But then, Mommy got up and took a shower, and Mommy and Daddy put on fancy clothes.  I knew something wasn’t quite right here!  They took me and Big Brother back to Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  This time, I let them leave again without much fanfare.  But once they were gone, it was time to scream to get them to come back!  Daddy called to check in about an hour after they left, and after Mommy heard I was upset, she came to get me.  I got to spend the rest of the night at this big fancy party at the Country Club with lots of food, music and the OSU Football Game on a huge TV.  It was AWESOME!  Mommy fed me off her plate; I napped in her arms, smiled for all the people, and really had a good time!  Daddy said I was a “crasher” and Mommy put a picture of my bottle with her wine glass in Instagram – but I don’t even know what that’s all about!

After the party was over, they went to Grandma and Grandpa’s to get my bed (Pack-N-Play), then took me to the hotel to sleep with them!  JACKPOT!  I was SO happy!  I went to sleep in my bed, but I decided that was still too far away, so I cried until Mommy put me in bed with her.  I rewarded her by filling my diaper at some point during the night, so when she woke up, my stinky bottom was in her face.  But when I woke up, I was just SO GLAD to see Mommy and Daddy right there with me!

We went back home to Stillwater after picking Jake up from Grandma and Grandpa’s Sunday morning.  I guess he was asleep when Mommy and Daddy got my bed, because the first thing he said that morning was, “What happened to Finn and his bed!??!”  He had no idea I was lucky enough to be with Mommy and Daddy!  I hope I didn’t make him jealous!  I was so glad to be home Sunday afternoon and to see my Sisters.  I had missed them over the weekend!  But I am sure glad I have Mommy and Daddy so wrapped around my finger and so well trained.  They kept me happy all weekend, AND I got to go to some fun parties and meet new people.  Thanks for being so nice to me, Enid High Class of 1982!  See you in 10 years!

Love,

Finn

The "A" Quad! (Guest Blog by Finn)

This last 24 hours has been quite a ride for me!  First, my Daddy was here with Mommy all day yesterday, and I was so happy to see him!  I love hearing his deep voice and he knows just how to hold me.  While he and mommy were here, one of my nurse practitioners came in and they talked for a long time all about me!  Mommy said I’m the kind of kid you have to just push into the deep end and tell them to swim!  I’m not sure what exactly that means, but it sounds kind of scary!  Then, Daddy AGREED with her!  He told stories of me being in the NICU about how I get to a point then don’t get past it until they push me pretty hard – like they had to to with the fentanyl and the ventilator.  While I’m not sure what all that means, I do know that after they all talked about that for a while, and they talked about me being past the 37 week mark, the NNP turned the flow down on my machine to 3.0L and 100% oxygen.  Mommy and Daddy were so excited!  Didn’t make me much difference at all!  They stayed with me till mid-afternoon, and I was sad to see them go, since they know just how to feed me my bottles!  I’m getting really good at it!

Not too long after they left, the nurses came in and started gathering up all my things – they told me I was MOVING!  Where? To the A QUAD!!!!  While I am still looking for the other 2 “quads,” I hear they call this new place the “high school” of the NICU.  Even though I am a freshman on the hall, I have a lot of friends who came over this week, too, so I’m not too worried about it.  My new room is smaller, but I am the only baby in here, and there is more storage for all the clothes, gifts, and stuff my Mommy keeps here for us.  It was fun to take a little ride in my crib down the hall and around the corner!  My nurses told me all about my new digs while we walked.  I hear it’s kind of a big deal to be here, so I am excited!  Plus, I got the best room in the place – first one as you walk into the unit, so I get to greet everyone!

I had a good first night in the new room.  I have a window right above my bed! It’s nice to see the daylight streaming in.  My Mom and Dad, as well as my sisters and brother showed up late this morning.  Mommy and Daddy were surprised when they got here that my Vapotherm was at 3.0 liters and 83% - they thought they would leave the oxygen at 100% and just wean the flow.  They asked the nurse about this, but I was doing great with my numbers either way.  Mommy fed me a bottle (with a little help from Jake), and then I heard them talking to another of my nurse practitioners.  She explained that there are a few schools of thought on the Vapotherm settings, and she likes to do it this way.  She told them she would turn it down to 2.5 liters of flow tomorrow.  Again, no idea what that means, but Mom and Dad seem excited as it is one step closer to home.  The NNP also said I had completed 82% of my bottles by mouth in the last 24 hours. Mommy said that’s a “B” and she’ll take it!  

The next time I needed a diaper change and a bottle, Mommy was off pumping more milk for me, so for the first time, Daddy did my whole hands on by himself and fed me my bottle!  I love it when Mommy does it, but is sure is special when Daddy’s here!  Emma, Lara and Jake all took turns holding me, singing to me, and reading books to me all day long.  Mommy fed me one last bottle (after figuring out that the first nipple we tried didn’t have a hole in the end) before they had to go home for the night.  

MAN!  What a great day today was.  One nurse even said I might still make it home for Christmas.  Mommy said she’s fine if I don’t, but I am going to keep working hard!  I’d sure like to be home for when Santa comes!  I hear that’s pretty cool!  But for now, I am happy to be here in the “Big Boy Nursery” working hard on my breathing and eating.  I’ll be home soon enough.

Guest Blogger Day!

Today, I am 4 weeks old!  I am weighing in at 2 pounds and 8 ounces, and I am working hard to grow, grow, grow!  I woke up this morning with some “eye gunk,” so my doctor sent it off to be cultured, and in the mean time my nurses keep slathering my eyes with some sticky ointment.  I mean, I know I can only see like 3 inches in front of my face, but now even THAT is blurry!  And my eyes are all sticky.  BUT!  My Mommy got to hold me today for the first time in over 2 weeks!  While I was on the baby shaker (oscillator), She couldn’t hold me.  It was so nice!  She even put my fuzzy OSU hat on me to keep me warm.  AND, while she was holding me, guess who showed up?  DADDY!  We were both so surprised!  He sat with us and talked with us for a long time before the nurse put me back in my bed!  (Oh - and if you haven’t figured it out, this is Finn, and I hijacked the blog for the day!)

So, I decided I should give you a little tour of my room.  The NICU at Mercy is really nice.  There are 2 sides - “A” quad and “B” quad.  (Not sure why they are called quads when there are only 2 of them, but whatever...).  I am on “B” quad, where each room has 2 babies.  My suite-mate is named Shannon.  She was born the same day I was, but her Mommy was further along than mine was.  The nurses used to call us boyfriend and girlfriend, but my Mommy told them we broke up.  The whole “Room Divided” thing wasn’t working out for us.  (They are huge OU fans; We bleed orange...)  It is usually very dark in our room, and we have lightweight fleece blankets over our isolettes, but they day Mommy took these pictures, all the lights were on.  So, here we go!

View as you walk into the room

All my equipment

From the other side

 

 

 

The "BAD BOY" oscillator (turned off)

The regular ventilator (back on)

ME!  Sleeping in my bed

So, there you have it.  My room on the B Quad.  I heard the doctor talking to my Mommy and Daddy this morning, and he said things were right on track.  I just need to grow, grow, grow!  I’m working hard at it!  We just have to keep me healthy and keep moving forward.  Thanks for reading my guest post today!