Come a Long Way

Last week was a typical roller coaster in the Finn world.  We are enjoying the ride, though.  I have always loved learning, and this is a season of much growth in that area!  We had appointments with 3 of his specialists last week: the audiologist at Hearts for Hearing, the newest addition to his care team – the Pediatric Gastroenterologist at OU Children’s Physicians and the Pediatric Endocrinologist at OU Children’s Physicians.  We were lucky to get the last 2 scheduled back to back, since they were in the same building!

I have to take a moment to remark on OU Children’s.  You know us, we bleed orange!  When Finn was in the Hospital side of OU Children’s a couple of years ago for 8 days with RSV, we made sure to wear a spot of orange every day!  I remember my dad had a rough time coming to the campus to see his grandbaby because of all the crimson and the signage.  But, I have to brag on them.  REMARKABLE.  Best hospital and clinic experiences I have ever had.  I remember feeling that way during that stay, but our new encounters have reinforced this.  We are completely blown away by the level of care, the compassion and the service at this hospital!  Every time we have seen our Endo and this time with the GI each physician has spent 30+ minutes with our family addressing all of our concerns.  It’s so comforting.

On Tuesday, we made our way to Oklahoma City to see Miss Sara at Hearts for Hearing.  She has been seeing Finn since he was 6 months old.  In that time, he has never completely passed all the parts of the hearing test.  He has had lots of Sooner Start interventions, visits with the Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor including 2 sets of ear tubes, and still feel “behind” at the audiologist.  Last visit (4 months ago) was the best visit we had ever had, but he still fell short, and they wanted to hear more words from him.  Last week?  He blew them away!  He was in an excellent mood, did all their tests without any threenager drama, and PASSED THEM ALL with flying colors!  We were so impressed with how well he was doing, but we don’t know what they are looking for.  As we got close to the end of the testing we could tell the audiologist and the speech therapist were exchanging “knowing looks” but we were still surprised when they said we don’t need to come back unless we have problems!  He has graduated from their care!  So very exciting!  We will miss them, but sure are proud of our Miracle for passing this hurdle!

 

 

Then, on Wednesday, we headed down to the main campus of OU Children’s Hospital near downtown Oklahoma City.  We have been seeing our Endocrinologist at his satellite clinic at Mercy Hospital, so this was our first trip to the Physician’s building.  Again, so impressed!  Our first stop was on the 9^th floor with the Gastroenterologist.  He spent plenty of time with us learning about Finn and our family and out history.  He asked a ton of questions, and carefully listened to our answers.  He decided we are in a “wait and see” phase of Finn’s life.  He definitely needs to increase his weight, but he did not seem as concerned about it as we were a few weeks ago.  Finn had gained some weight since that last visit with the Endocrinologist, but he is still very underweight, and not staying on his growth curve.  So, after determining there is nothing medical presenting itself at this time, the plan is to fatten him up.  We got to meet with his nutritionist and she gave us some tips and pointers to get him gaining.  And a list of foods for him to eat.  Basically, anything high calorie and fattening.  All the things Britt and I have been fighting hard to avoid! LOL!  She encouraged us to slather everything Finn eats in butter or oil.  Dip everything in sauces.  And to supplement with calorie dense milk replacements. Our trip to the grocery store this weekend was interesting!  But, is adjusting to the change pretty well.  As a family, we have some bad habits to break (letting him graze is a no no!), but we will work on that after school gets out.  He is definitely eating more, and he loves his new fatty diet! LOL!  Another chore: keeping the 3 bigs out of “Finn’s Snacks!”

After our visit to the 9^th floor, we headed down to the 4^th floor to the Endocrinology clinic.  Today, we weren’t actually seeing the doctor, but his RN who would teach us how to inject the daily growth hormones with Finn.  We were escorted  a conference room where we were educated.  We learned about the drugs, about the process, and what to expect.  Finn had a bit of a meltdown while we were going through all of this, but it was very to him and he had already been a long morning!  We came to the clinic with a backpack full of supplies.  We had a large black backpack, a big blue cooler pack, a box with a special container for the pen, a box of alcohol swabs, a box of  tiny needles, a sharps container, and a box with the pre-filled pen full of hormones.  This came in two shipments late last week.  One box was bigger than Finn!  And we had no idea what to do with any of it!  But, we got excellent training!  She taught us about all the pieces, and we got to practice administering the shots on this special sponge.  Finn loved helping us and counting to seven as we held the pen while the medicine was administered.  The, we went across the hall to all wash our hands, and it was Finn’s turn!  He was having NOTHING of it! LOL!  But, we made it through that first short.    Not going to lie, that next night at home as we did it on our own, we were a bit nervous.  We talked each other through it, and made it work! One down!  We did it!  WHEW

 

Here we are several nights later.  While he doesn’t like it, he is doing OK.  We made ourselves an injection site chart so we can keep rotating the place where we inject him.  We have a system for storage of all our goodies.  And we have a set time and location to do this.  Last night was definitely the worst night.  I don’t know why it seemed to hurt more, but it did.  Overall, we are very proud of him.  He likes to help us get everything prepared, and even through the tears he counts to seven with us!  And after it’s all over, he gets to push the easy button.  We have the first few nights down – and about 4,000 more to go!  If the therapy works, he will have to continue it through puberty.  Seems daunting, but I know it will be worth it.

I also have to mention how GREAT his siblings are being about this!  Every night, it has been a family affair.  We all wash our hands, we all sit together and each person has a role in preparing and administering the shots.  Britt has the hard job – holding the Finnster still! The big kids help get the supplies together, throw away the trash, and put the needle (it has a cover!) in the sharps container and bring over the Easy Button for Finn to push.  They help us encourage Finn and help comfort him, too.  This is a HUGE change for all of us, but we are in it together!

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.  Our insurance has denied the coverage for the injections, but there are several appeals steps to go through.  In the meantime, we will continue the injections, and if the insurance choses to never support this therapy, there are foundations that will help cover the cost.  For now, we are living on faith that they will see how beneficial this therapy is for Finn and acknowledge his diagnosis of SGA and Short Stature.  We ask for prayers of provision for that process, then of course for our family as we continue this journey.

Finn's Story

Recently, the representative we worked with while at Mercy from the Central Oklahoma Chapter of the March of Dimes asked parents to submit their stories of premature birth to be included in a book they are working on called "Journals of Hope."  The purpose of this project is to be able to help support families who are just starting a journey they never dreamed they would be on.  To give them hope in a scary, confusing time.  We were approached about the project, and of course we wanted to participate!  It has taken a lot more time than I thought it would to organize my thoughts, write them out, polish the product, and let it fly.  Not to mention the emotions that it brought up while I was working on it - I had to just put it away several times - it is OVERWHELMING what we have overcome this past year.  Along with that, I have to acknowledge that I shared the burden of this project with my husband.  With out the suggestions/prodding/editing/proofreading/laundry support of my amazing husband, I would have never seen this through to completion.  I buckled down over this past holiday weekend to finish it up and put the final touches on it, and I want to share it with you here.  It's a mere 5,300 words.  Sit back and enjoy the "short" version of Finn's Story...

Journals of Hope

NICU Family Support Program

We are the Six Dream Weavers – This is Our Story

My name is Betsey, and my son was born 14 weeks premature.  I found out I was pregnant on May 24, 2011.  At age 36, I was already the mother of 3 children, and was not contemplating a fourth.  I had 9 year old twin girls, Emma and Lara (who worn born in 2002 at 38 weeks gestation, weighing 6 pounds each - came home with me a few days later) and a 4 year old son, Jacob (born in 2007 at 37 weeks weighing slightly under 9 pounds).  My husband, Britt, and I both worked full time, and had a very busy life with our 3 kids, and thought our family was complete.  It took me 2 days to get up the nerve to break the news to him!  Although we were already covering our newest little addition with prayer, we had no idea about the complexity of the journey we were about to embark upon.  I was due with my fourth child on January 6, 2012.  

Both of my previous pregnancies were very routine – even the “high risk” multiple pregnancy.  I had some PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension) issues late term that led to a C-section a few days earlier than scheduled with the first, and we moved my C-section date up for my son by a few days based on his size, but other than that, two pretty unremarkable pregnancies.  That all changed with this one.  I started having unexplained bleeding at 9 weeks, a slight amniotic fluid leak at 15 weeks, and both issues seemed to continue and get worse during the 2^nd trimester.  We were praying BOLD prayers with our friends, family, and care givers to save this precious life and to give us all the wisdom to make the right decisions.  Eventually, these complications led to pelvic rest, then restricted activity, and finally home bed rest.  On September 14, 2011, I walked out of my house for the last time as a mother of 3.  That evening, I had another (my 4^th) severe bleeding event that landed me in our local hospital for 2 days (after being in and out of labor and delivery a few times in the past weeks), after which I was transferred to a regional hospital with maternal and fetal medicine specialists, as well as a Level III neonatal intensive care unit – Mercy Health Center in Oklahoma City, OK - for total hospital bed rest.  I was ready to settle in for the long haul.  I was only 23 weeks pregnant when this happened.  My baby had a LOT of growing and developing to do!  My prayer warriors kicked in to overdrive to beg for God’s protection over this situation.

Fast forward a few weeks.  It was a Wednesday.  October 5.  3 days before my 37^th birthday.  I had run into the “bed rest wall” that morning and was having a huge pity party for myself.  I was incredibly weepy that day -- Just couldn’t stop crying. I was sad. Sad because I missed my kids. Sad because I felt “trapped” and “stuck.” Sad because I missed my husband. And sad because I missed my home town of Stillwater – 70 miles away. Not really anything specific, and I had TONS of visitors, but it just wasn’t the same.  Shortly after lunch, I had started to feel better. I had gotten a few pep talks from my husband, and a few excellent messages from a fellow twin mom who endured 63 days of hospital bed rest while waiting on her twin girls, and a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my most prominent cheerleader outside of my family. And I knew people were praying for me, for the baby, and for my family.  I had been in prayer all day, too, I just needed God to help me overcome the stronghold Satan had on us that day.  I had given myself a few pep talks as well, and I was looking forward to Skyping (is that a verb?) with friends that night with my newly discovered favorite technology! Things were looking up! I knew I could do this!  At 7:00pm, I started my Skype session with my friends.  About  30 or 40 minutes later, it happened.  Although we weren’t sure what happened at the time, my water broke, but along with that was a large amount of blood.  Thankfully, my husband was smarter than I was and headed down to see me as soon as he could – after I had said all would be fine and insisted he stay home.  But after several hours of prayer, careful monitoring, IV fluids and calls to my specialist, the time had come.  

At 11:01, my nurse came in, sat on the edge of my bed, put her hand on my knee and said, “Sweetheart, we’re going to have a baby.” I nodded as though I understood, even though I didn’t really. And then she said, “Like RIGHT NOW!” And then I saw the panic. And within seconds, 4 or 5 other people were in my room. I heard the charge nurse on the phone saying we would have a baby by 11:20. People were putting the compression boots back on my legs, taking off my street clothes and putting me in a gown, putting warmed IV fluid on the pole at a much faster rate, taking my blood pressure, shaving me in preparation for surgery, a NICU nurse was introducing herself, and so on and so on and so on!   With fear in my eyes, I told my husband to “Call my mom!” and to “PRAY!” Next thing I knew, I was being wheeled down the hall to the operating room. As we crossed the threshold, a nurse called out “Time in, 11:09.” Wow. 8 minutes from the time I was told I would be giving birth.

Finn Ricker Weaver was joining us soon!  He was born on Wednesday, October 5, 2011 at 11:48pm. He weighed in at a tiny 1 pound and 14 ounces, and was 13 inches long. His arrival 14 weeks before his due date was a bit dramatic, and even a bit traumatic, but he defied the odds by surviving and then thriving in the NICU at Mercy.  Praising God for his mercies and his miracles!

 

You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples. Psalm 77:14

“They” (NICU doctors, nurses, staff and graduate families) often say the first 24-48 hours of your NICU stay are somewhat of a “Honeymoon” period – things seem to be going well or better than expected.  But, the roller coaster ride has to begin at some point, and it always does.  We were told that Finn was doing very well initially for a baby of his size and gestational age.  The first two interventions for Finn (besides IV fluids for nutrition) were the ventilator for respiration (which at this point was at very low settings for a baby of his size!), and 3 banks of the blue photo therapy lights used to fight the bilirubin levels in the blood that cause jaundice.  Both very typical for micro-preemies.  (Heck- all my full term kids had jaundice issues of some level!)  The next few days were pretty uneventful as far as the health of our baby.  We knew he had a long row to hoe, and we would be in the NICU for several months, so this was just the beginning of our ride.  The hardest thing for us during those early days was the 4^th day after he was born, when I was discharged, and we had to leave the hospital without our tiny son.  Absolutely heartbreaking.

That first week consisted of lots of IV’s, lots of photo-therapy lights, weight loss, tiny weight gain, and finally, on day six, the chance to HOLD MY SON for the very first time!  I was allowed to “Kangaroo” (a method of caring for a premature baby where the baby is held against a parent's bare chest – skin to skin) with Finn for almost an entire hour that first time!  Truly a healing moment for both of us!  I also learned this week that sometimes, when you are past an obstacle (Jaundice – they removed the lights on day 6), sometimes it has to be re-visited (the lights were back on day 11). Let the roller coaster begin!

At one week old, Finn received his first (there would be six before we were discharged) blood transfusion.  This was an emotional moment for us.  We had never known anyone who had received a blood transfusion, and it brought up a lot of questions and fears.  Ultimately, we knew what was best for Finn, but there was still those nagging thoughts – Is it safe? What if he rejects it? Why does he need blood?  We learned that it is completely safe, and he needed blood because he was using it faster than he was producing it just trying to grow, plus all the tests he was having run on him – including a heel prick for blood gas levels every few hours!  It was also this day that we learned he was fighting off his first infection, and was being given broad spectrum antibiotics.  All of these things compounded to make me a very nervous mom.  Once again, we turned to our faith and knew that God would provide for our tiny baby.

The second week was rocky, too.  While I was able to hold him more, Dad got his first opportunity to Kangaroo, he started feeding on tiny amounts of my pumped breast milk, and he had gained weight back up to his birth weight, he also was experiencing more respiratory distress.  He had to be switched from a traditional ventilator to a more invasive, LOUDER oscillator (which keeps the lungs open with constant pressure, and vibrates at a very high rate).  This was distressing because it was more support (going in the wrong direction here), we were no longer able to hold our baby, and the machine literally SHAKES the baby.  He looked like he was vibrating all the time!  But, he immediately started improving on this equipment.  During this time, he was also sedated lightly, as well.  While I didn’t know exactly what to expect from a newborn preemie, we could tell sometimes that he was acting “drugged up” a bit.  

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. Psalm 28:&7

The next few weeks were filled with days of sitting by Finn’s bedside, pumping breast milk endlessly, staying with friends while missing my family over an hour away, and learning our new normal.  Finn was a fighter from the start, and he was working so hard to get bigger and better.  He continued to tolerate his feedings through the NG tube, stayed under the bili-lights for another week, and made respiratory progress every day.  When he had been on the oscillator about 5 days, he hit a plateau of sorts and was not making any forward progress in the breathing department.  That’s when we were asked the hardest question by far of our NICU journey.  Our Neonatologist wanted to start Finn on some controversial steroids to help his lungs.  We were told that the long-term effects of these were unknown, but that short term there was a VERY HIGH chance of them helping Finn turn this corner.  After much prayer, consultation, and crying, we decided that the short term benefits outweighed the long term risks.  We knew this was part of God’s plan for Finn’s life, and we wanted Finn to get better and be able to be the man God wants him to be.  And, thankfully, the drugs worked and Finn continued to improve – he transitioned off the oscillator back to a traditional ventilator after 2 (of the longest) weeks.  Then, we FINALLY got to hold him again!  

By one month old, he weighed 2 pounds 11 ounces.  He was finishing up a round of antibiotics for the staph and e.coli they had found in his eyes and chest tube.  He had been off the oscillator for 10 days and off the steroids for a week, and was making positive progress in the respiratory department.  He was up to 18cc’s of breast milk every 3 hours through his NG tube and tolerating them well – working towards being off all IV fluids and supplementary lipids.  He was still on fentanyl for sedation, but was being slowly weaned off. And he had his first eye exam from the ophthalmologist - which he passed beautifully!  We had fallen in to a good pattern, and Finn was growing well.  Our next hurdle was to remove the PICC (peripherally inserted central catheter for intravenous access for a prolonged period of time) line from his arm and eliminate that potential source of infection.  We need him to grow, but to also avoid infection and other illness.  Two steps forward, one step back.  But, slow and steady wins the race, right?

 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding Proverbs 3:5

November brought us lots of ups and downs as to be expected.  Early in the month, he was doing SO WELL, then he started trending downward and needed his fourth blood transfusion, medication to pull fluid off his lungs, and his ventilator settings were going in the wrong direction for a couple of days.  So distressing!  Then, he bounced back and had a GREAT few days!  At 6 weeks old, he was taken off all pumps and medications, the PICC line was pulled, and he had no IV’s in him at all!  He was de-sat’ing less and less during his hands on times, and he was making progress in the right direction – even figured out how to suck his thumb!  By the end of the month, there were even whispers that he might be home for Christmas – a mere 12 days before his due date!  We were looking forward to celebrating the birth of our Savior by bringing home our sweet son!  He was making tiny steps forward every day.  Creeping closer and closer to being off the respirator and on to CPAP – a step in the right direction for sure! As soon as he could be without the chest tube, we could start trying to nipple some of his feedings.  By this point in our journey, I was just weary.  Missing home and my family.  Wanting time to go more quickly.  Wanting Finn to improve faster.  Wanting us to all be home and together and life back to normal.  Everyone kept telling me I look good, so I was either good at faking it, or the pace and stress I was keeping up under was making me look better to others!  I don’t know, but I’ll take the complements.  Since Finn was born, I had not spent more than 4 nights in a row in the same bed.  We had been in the NICU for 7 weeks.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Week 8 was a big one!  Not only were we celebrating our THIRD holiday in the NICU (my birthday, Halloween, and now Thanksgiving), MY BABY DIDN’T HAVE A TUBE DOWN HIS THROAT ANYMORE!!!!!   He could swallow and cough and CRY now.   Soon, we would be bottle feeding!  Also this week, he started wearing real clothes!  Up to this point, he was in a diaper and was swaddled.  I was not aware of this development coming, so I was truly shocked!  I found out later that the requirements were 3 and a half pounds, but when Finn hit that marker, he still had a rigid tube down his throat.  So, for him, it was 3 and a half pounds, AND the tube was gone!   The month ended with him being “graduated” from his high-tech incubator “Giraffe” omni-bed to an open-air crib in his room.  This seemed much less scary for all of us, but he seemed so SMALL in there!  Especially since he was still on the CPAP for breathing and was so wrapped up all the time.  Soon after he moved to his open crib, we learned that the settings on his breathing machine (called a SiPap) were no longer initiating breathes for him - he was doing that ALL on his own!  SO CLOSE to being off the machine and on to a nasal cannula!  He also got his 5^th blood transfusion at the end of the month.  

The beginning of December brought a whirlwind of excitement.  It seemed like things were doing a two-step (one step forward, two steps back) for such a long time, then everything was just stagnant with nothing happening, then started moving forward QUICKLY!  We were really looking good for the “home by Christmas” dream we had.  Finn was doing very well, hitting milestones, and getting bigger and cuter every day!  One of my favorite NICU moments came early in December when I had stayed late and got to help the nurses and RT give my little man a “spa bath.”  Just under 4 pounds, he was totally bare for the experience except for the NG feeding tube, and the RT was holding a hose to blow air by his nose to keep his O2 levels up, and she used another of her tools to make bubbles in the pan they were using to bathe him.  I got to help, and another nurse took pictures, and it was truly a memory I will cherish forever! 

 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?” Matthew 6:25

I missed a few days early in the month because I was back at home for my surgery – a tubal ligation.  We were definitely too old and too worn out emotionally to do this again!  I made sure I held Finn extra the 2 days before I had to go home for several days.  The day after my surgery, I got the call that Finn was no longer on CPAP – what a GREAT way to make my recovery go faster!  He was now just on the nasal cannula, and would soon be able to attempt bottle feeding!  We made a quick trip down to see him since this was HUGE and we could finally see his whole face.  Good news can sure speed up recovery!  

 

He turned 2 months old on December 5 and weighed in at 4 pounds six ounces, and had started taking some of his feeds by bottle.  The other thing that made getting off CPAP such a huge milestone for us was that now our other kids and family members could HOLD THE BABY!  They had been asking for so very long!  Up to this point, Britt and I were the only ones to have held him.  Early in December, that was quickly remedied!  Big Brother Jake was first, followed by big sisters Emma and Lara as well as extended family.  Once Finn got his tachypnea (fast breathing) under control, he took to the bottle like a champ!  The first few days he would tire easily, but by the 4^th or 5^th day, he was really doing GREAT, and was up to about 82% bottle feeds!  The staff was very impressed by this as a baby with his much oxygen support typically has some aversions to nipple feeding.  On his month-day, we also started his first round of immunizations.  I didn’t know they would keep those on a “traditional” schedule, but it made me feel better knowing he was protected.  But, as the NICU ride goes, the bottom soon dropped out on us again.  The next week, he was struggling – couldn’t keep his O2 levels up, super sleepy (maybe from working so hard to bottle feed), and generally not the hard working baby we had all come to know.  They told me they were going to withhold the bottle for an ENTIRE WEEK to get him back up to par.  There went my Christmas wish.

The morning after I got this crushing news, I was greeted at Finn’s bedside by 4 staff members; all declaring my son had just had the poop of the century in the NICU.  He got it all over everything including the walls, the bed, and the VapoTherm machine!  And the best part?  After this display, he felt SO MUCH better – back to the baby from a few days ago who was eager to please!  We got to try a bottle again that morning – and never looked back!  My Christmas dreams had been revived!

The thought of actually bringing my tiny baby home started to become a reality at this point.  But, a scary reality.  While I desperately wanted Finn home, it’s scary to leave the only one he’s ever known.  It’s like his birth, all over again.  Leaving a home that is safe, comfortable, reliable, and KNOWN to go to another place, that while it is safe, comfortable and reliable, it is a GREAT unknown.  A whole new set of circumstances and lessons to be learned.  A new family dynamic.  A new life that God has entrusted US with – we are so unworthy of all his blessings!  About this time, we seemed to hit another Finn “plateau” – which he was now famous for.  His numbers were trending downward again, so it was time for his 6^th (and FINAL, thankfully) blood transfusion.  During the blood transfusion, they hold his feeds, so not only did he get an IV for the blood, but also for IV nutrition as well.  While he looked kind of cute with a hep lock in each hand poking out over his blanket, I knew it wasn’t comfortable for him.  Typically after a transfusion, Finn perks right up and takes off in the right direction.  But this one had left him pretty sluggish.  He was having trouble taking all of his feeds by bottle, he was lethargic, and was relying heavily on his oxygen support.  All these things were not getting us home any time soon.  He was no worse, but definitely not better either.  And we weren’t moving forward at this point.  It really looked like Christmas would be a family of 5 affair as Number 6 stayed in the NICU.  Time to get back on our knees and get our prayer partners back in full gear.  We needed grace in this situation.

At 10 weeks in the NICU, we had been there long enough that some of the other parents of preemies feel like friends, and the staff was like family.  We couldn’t walk down the hall without a handful of “Hellos” and “How’s Finn?” greetings passing my way.  Although it was a comforting feeling, it was still a bit surreal.  WHY were we there in the first place – let alone long enough to feel that way about the people we were encountering on a daily basis?  But all of the hard work, diligence and prayers were paying off.  Finn was on another upswing!  He hit 5 pounds 10 days before Christmas.   We had a plan to get him over the plateau – which included discontinuing the diuretics (which he was not responding to properly), an echo cardiogram (which came back clear), and hold bottle feedings for 48 hours to insure he wasn’t aspirating when he fed – which also gave him time to rest.  Oh – and the doctor ordered for his parents to be patient.  Easier said than done!  We were told due to these setbacks, Finn would not be home for Christmas.  But we were thankful for what we had.  The doctor had told us the day before that 9 out of 10 babies with his exact circumstances (26 week gestation birth, under 2 pound birth weight, 7 weeks on a ventilator, etc.) would not be faring as well as he had. 

But, 2 days was all he needed!  We had once again seen God show off through our son.  Back to bottle feeding, back to being his perky self.  Still weaning his oxygen support ever so very slowly.  Just 4 days after that last, fateful blood transfusion, Finn moved to the “A quad!”  This is where the less critical babies in the unit stay.  This was another huge milestone.  You know your baby is going home soon when you move over there where they keep the “growers and feeders.”  They took his feeding tube out on the 20^th, and that was his last invasive treatment. That’s where we were at this point, just growing and mastering bottle feeding!    He was now just on monitors and oxygen.  We celebrated Christmas at home on Christmas morning, and then had a lunch of lunchables and capri sun in the van as we headed to see our baby!  Best. Christmas. EVER!  First picture of all 4 of my kids in the same place at the same time.  5 pounds 10 ounces of Awesome.  Growing and feeding just like he should be.  Just waiting to come home.  They were working through his check list to come home – including his hearing test, eye tests, car seat challenge, and the final obstacle of an MRI.  And we were working on ours – taking our last NICU class and getting CPR class taken care of, too.  

…the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God. You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus.  He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over Jacob’s descendants forever; his kingdom will never end.” Luke 1:30-33

On Tuesday, December 27, 2011, my husband and I got to “room in” with our son in the NICU for our first overnight with him, and we drive him home to our house on December 28, 2011 – 9 days before his original due date of January 6, 2012.  

 In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8

The first few days (and weeks!) at home were a true test of our parenting skills, patience, and love.  Finn came home on a heart/apnea monitor as well as supplemental oxygen, so we had lots of “stuff” to bring with us.  We had some equipment issues the first few days that took some working out, we had some insurance issues that were making it impossible to get the Synagis (RSV preventative) shots scheduled, and my husband had to go back to work, but my older three kids still had a week off school for the holidays!  WHEW!  And, we were trying to keep Finn on the every 3 hour schedule he had been on in the NICU.  It was a challenge keeping every one fed, entertained, clean and dry - and to keep reminding them not to step on, trip over, kink or otherwise disturb all the cords and wires crisscrossing our house! It was a crazy ride, but we made it!  On his due date, had been home for 10 days.  We are all still adjusting, but we couldn’t help but celebrate this milestone.  We are so happy to just be a family, all under one roof and looking forward to a much calmer 2012.  

By 4 months old, Finn weighed 8 pounds, 1 ounce and was 20 inches long.  We were so thankful for what God had done in the life of our son so far, and for the future we could finally begin to imagine.  He was still on oxygen and still on the monitor 24 hours a day – both of which were becoming tiresome at this point.  We had started to wean the amount of oxygen and we were getting close to being done with it, but we still had a few weeks to go.  He was still growing strong and doing all the things he should be done.

Shortly after his 5^th month day in March, Finn was struggling through a slight cold, and with his congestion and the nasal cannula in his nostrils, he was having a hard time breathing.  We called out pediatrician, and got the go ahead to try a room air test!  We were so thrilled!  It was so great to finally be able to see Finn’s whole face without tender grips and a tube up his nose!  He did great, and while we had him on oxygen at night for a few more days, it felt so good to be done with one set of cords and wires!  We were still on the heart /apnea monitor at this point, but soon moved to only having it on at night. Our prayers were being answered!

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

At his 6 month pediatrician’s visit, we were finally cleared to stop using the monitor.  This was truly an emotional moment.  Our baby was FREE!  Thank you Jesus, for all of your continued blessings over our son!   We could be a normal family!  He was growing bigger, was given a clean bill of health, and we were finally getting out of RSV/flu season!  We did have one more hurdle to jump, as he needed to have surgery to repair the left inguinal hernia he had.  We got that scheduled for a few weeks later – at a different hospital an hour away from home again.  All went very well with his surgery and his recovery made him a whole new boy!  The child development specialist that comes to see him every 2 weeks was really amazed at how much better he felt and acted after that surgery!  Now, that he was doing so well, we could start to get him out of the house a little bit.  His first encounter with the public was on Easter Sunday when we took him to church for the very first time.

 Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let them say among the nations, “The LORD reigns!” 1 Chronicles 16:13

As I write this, Finn is almost 8 months old.  The last couple of months have been so great.  He is a wonderful baby to be around – when he’s happy!  We also suffered through a terrible case of colic, and while he is past that, he is still my fussiest baby!  But, his smiles, coos, laughs and just the miracle of his life make all the struggles so very worth it!  We are so lucky God chose us to be his family, and we can’t wait to hear how he changes the world in the future!  

We hope that sharing our story with you will help you on your journey.  We also want to thank you for letting us tell our story and letting us reach out to you.  We have been able to celebrate victories and grieve for sorrows of several families since we began our journey.  It is truly a blessing to be able to share this experience with others. “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”  Romans 12:15

List of New Things

It's been a week of new things.  I woke up this morning thinking about all the "new" things I had either learned, done, or been introduced to, so I wanted to find a way to write it all down and share it.  I decided the best way would be a categorized list.  (What other way would a GOLD personality type do things!)  So, I started the list on paper while I contemplated going back to sleep, and now here I am.

Medical Professionals
Nurses I have had the same day nurse, Holly, pretty much the whole time I have been here.  I am pretty sure I love her and I will never forget her.  I've had a few others (Holly does go home occasionally), and have really liked some, but none are Holly.  And my night nurses seem to change a lot.  Unfortunately, the one I seem to have had the most is not my favorite.  Eh - you win some you loose some.
Nutritionist She's been the most comical so far.  She came in, introduced herself, then asked if I knew why she was here.  I said no, and she said neither did she.  We chatted a few seconds, and she was gone.
Chaplain - Sister MaryCatherine While not specifically a medical professional, still a member of the Mercy staff.  She came by to visit, and pray with/for me and the baby.  she had some great stories and was a wonderful departure from the normal visitors!
Physical Therapist This lady was super sweet!  She gave me a sheet with some "suitable for bed rest" exercises on it, went over it all with me, then we just talked.  She was very nice.
NICU Family Support Specialist I think I may have messed up this sweet lady's schedule!  After she explained who she was and what she did, we talked FOREVER!  She is also pregnant with a "surprise" baby, but she has triplets at home!  Her job is to help us feel at ease with our NICU experience (should we have one) and to help be a liaison between the family and the staff.
PICC Nurse Specialist The nurse that puts the PICC line in is certified in the procedure.  The woman who did mine was phenomenal.  I was pretty much terrified of this (even though the IV stick every 3 days made me cry), and she talked me through it before she started, and then we chatted all the way through the procedure, and it really kept me at ease.
Radiology Tech After the PICC insertion, I got a chest X-Ray with the portable machine to make sure it was in the right place.  Another great professionsal who was sweet and caring.

Also over the past week, I have gained some new "equipment."  I'll address that in the same way.

Equipment
Leg Compression Cuffs  I don't know exactly when I acquired these, almost a week ago now I suppose.  But, they tether me to the bed, practically, and I am still not a huge fan.  The purpose is to prevent blood clots in the legs. They are these large Velcro closure cuffs that wrap around my calf and have an air bladder in the back.  They are attached by flexible hoses to a motor that hangs off the foot board of my bed.  The bladders inflate alternately on each leg for a few seconds at a time.  And the motor vibrates the whole bed.  I was told to wear them 23 out of 24 hours - I would say I am averaging about 20.  Not to shabby when I seriously loathe them.
PICC line PICC stands for peripherally inserted central catheter.  Basically, it allows IV access for extended periods of time without having to move the IV port every three days (ouch).  It was inserted with ultrasound guidance right here in my room, then the portable X-ray came to make sure it was in the right place.  I knew nothing about them, so I Googled it.  Found this site to explain it to me and my family.  Once the insertion site stops hurting (nurse told me about 24 hours) I think I am going to like it.  Had my first blood draw from it last night, and I didn't feel a thing!
SKYPE So, I am just now catching up with technology.  Never had the need for it before, really.  My mom had it to talk to my brother and niece in Texas, and lots of other family members had it to talk to grand-kids and such, but I see my parents every day, and my in-laws don't even own a computer!  So, after a friend suggested it on Facebook, I was eager to get it going.  Only one problem - no web cams.  While they are readily available at a ton of retailers, and they are relatively cheap, every penny counts at this point, and it wasn't a priority.  Plus, we needed 2 - one for home and one for my laptop.  A week went by after I first mentioned it, then we were blessed with a Wal-Mart gift card that would cover the cost of 2 cameras, plus a tank of gas to come see me!  PERFECT.  I got it all set up Sunday night, and my kids LOVE it!  Me too.

Complaints
(I wouldn't be pregnant if I didn't have a few.)  Most of these relate to the fact that I feel a bit trapped.  I feel like my freedom has been taken from me, and some days I struggle with it more than others.
Bathroom trips I have to unhook my legs from the bed, wrestle my way out of this crazy auto-adjusting air bed, and without being too graphic, the process in the bathroom is not pleasant, either.
PICC line It does come with its own set of problems.  Like the 5am flush.  It requires a bit more maintenance than the traditional IV ports.
Showers I don't shower but every 4-5 days.  I hate that, too.  But, I feel like someone should be here with me when I do it, so I wait for family.  Plus, with the PICC line, it requires a bit of maintenance before I can just hop in there.
Can't be a mom to the 3 at home This one hurts.  We've had a couple of situations over the past week where it has just KILLED me to be here and not there.  Sometimes, no matter how good the people around you are taking care of you, you just need your Momma.
Allergies Ragweed.  Plus regular pregnancy congestion.  'Nuff said.
Failed the Test I found out last night I failed the 1 hour glucose tolerance test for gestational diabetes.  So, I am currently fasting to take the 3 hour test today.  JOY.

Praises
There is always a way to find God in all of this and to praise the One who paid my debt. 
Health Everyone tells me how good and how strong Finn looks on the monitor.  And my bleeding is back down to the minimal amount that is "typical" of most days after the incident last week.
PICC line Thankful that this procedure exists.  The repeated (hard, painful) sticks were getting depressing, and not to mention never ending since there is no telling how long I will be here.  I think even with the higher maintenance, this is a better option!
Revolving Door The nurses make fun of me for how often my door opens and closes!  I am blessed with deliveries, mail and visitors!  Not a day has gone by that I have not had at least one visitor.  Even when I thought no one was coming, I would be surprised!
New Fall TV I try not to watch TV during the day, but the evenings are filled with the new fall shows and returning series.  I have no DVR, so I miss parts due to nurses and visitors, but its still fun!
Countdown We are counting down the days to my due date, and I am grateful for my friend Kate on Twitter who is singing to me daily to remind me what day we are on!

My family is amazing.  The things they have had to endure I cannot imagine or speak for.  I do know my mom has had to pick kids up in the middle of her work day twice lately.  I know that they have had a few hectic mornings, and one grounding has occurred.  I know that every day brings its own challenges, and I am just so thankful for all they have done!  My mom reminds me often that the routine and pace she is keeping for my kids are why women her age don't have kids.  My dad has re-learned the skills of how to talk to elementary school kids about their day and how to play nurse to kids with their ailments.  And my husband has been completely immersed in the life of a single parent.  I remember those days; I only had 2 kids, but they were toddler twins, plus he has 2 more family members far away that he is worrying about.  ALL of our plates are full.  But we are ALL blessed by the many people who have reached out to us, cooked a meal for us, brought things back and forth for us, taken our kids for a few hours, and everyone who has prayed for us.  Keep it up!  There's still 94 days to go...

Hospital Bed Rest

Livin’ in the OC!  OK - it’s not as glamorous or exciting as Orange County, CA, but Oklahoma City has is pluses!  I have been a (temporary) resident for 4 and a half days now.  And I gotta say, after the initial shock started to wear off, it’s not so bad.  Pretty sure I cried 15 out of the first 18 hours I was here, but things have evened out a bit, and I know this is the ONLY thing I can be doing right now.  I have been trying to get this blog entry penned typed for 2 days now, but being here is surprisingly time consuming and busy.  Let me unpack the last few days for you.

Last I blogged was on Wednesday of last week, and I was in the Stillwater hospital, being told I will probably go to Mercy in Oklahoma City either Thursday or Friday.  I woke up Thursday morning with nothing really going on.  Since Wednesday was kinda nuts, my mom had the kids and decided to skip a trip to see me before taking them to school.  Britt came by, hoping to catch the doctor on rounds, but left right about 8 to get to work.  Of course, my doctor came in at 8:10!  Nothing new was really said, just that he was going to consult with the specialists in OKC again and start talking about the transfer and how that was going to happen.  Still seemed like a pretty distant event, and after he left, I am pretty sure I went back to sleep.  At just past noon, he walked in again.  I remember being pretty surprised to see him so soon, and also thinking how strange it was that he was the last person in my room as well - I had no visitors that morning!  Surprise quickly turned to shock when he asked about Britt’s whereabouts and how quickly he could get here.  I knew that was not a good sign.  The doctor went on to tell me that as soon as we could get checked out and down the road, we needed to be seen at the specialists’ office, then we would be admitted from there.  *JAW DROP.*  This was happening, and NOW!


My first phone call was to Britt after the doctor left the room to get me discharged from SMC.  He, of course, was caught as much off guard as I was!  I told him not to hurry, but to wrap things up at work and get here ASAP.  Then, I called my mom.  She assumed I was wanting some lunch and was talking on top pf me offering me suggestions of what she was close to.  I finally got a word in and told her the situation.  I asked her to go to the school and get my babies so I could see them before I left.  Amazingly, she and the kids got to the hospital before Britt did, so I got to hug on them and hang out with them for a few (come to find out Britt had stopped by the house to get a few things).  It was about 12:45 when I was loaded up and the kids were headed back to school and I was headed to the city.  We stopped for food (I hadn’t eaten) and gas and were on our way.  I am not sure what time we arrived at the doctor’s office, but it was raining and parking was a mess.  I was a walk-in patient to the clinic, and when I checked in, they informed me that both doctors who were in clinic (there are 3 physicians on staff there) had been called to the hospital for deliveries, so they were an hour behind!  YIKES!  I was worried I would be sitting there an eternity.  Again, not sure how long we waited, but after awhile we were called back, and it was a quick “appointment.”  The technician did a quick ultrasound, the doctor came in and did one, too, then we were escorted by a nurse through back hall ways, building bridges, elevators and walkways to the antepartum wing of Labor and Delivery at Mercy Health Center.  They had been advised of my arrival from Stillwater, so after some minimal paperwork (standing up at a counter - I was getting light headed by this point after being down for weeks) I was in a gown in a room about 4:00pm.  That’s when the real fun began!


Let’s not sugar coat this.  This was (is) a traumatic experience.  By this point in the day, every nerve I have was frayed, my patience had been tested beyond its limits, my physical body had taken a beating, and I was scared.  Oh, and dehydrated.  So, the next few hours were a blur of tears, failed IV and/or blood draw attempts (2 nurses, 75 minutes, at least 6 sticks), instruction, confusion and more tears.  My admitting doctor came in on rounds during the IV fiasco and suggested a central line, but not too long after that a very “aggressive” nurse came in and basically jammed the IV into my right hand.  It still hurts like heck (they are moving it today - I have still not convinced myself the PIC line in the best alternative to having an IV and having it moved every 4 days, plus a blood draw every 3 days...)  While (trying to) get settled in, Britt ran to Target for a few things I needed - we had come from Stillwater basically empty handed.  Our room was void of furniture due to a baby boom and some furniture being sent out to be recovered.  So, that left no place for Britt to sleep that first night.  I started trying to send him home about 7:30 pm, but it was breaking his heart what they were doing to me and all my tears, so it was closer to 9:30 before he finally left.  I was expecting a call from him around 10:45 from home, so imagine my surprise when he called at that time declaring he was “finally back on the road.”  I was very confused, then SHOCKED to learn he had a blow out north of Guthrie on I-35 as he was headed home!  REALLY?!?!?  What more could we endure that day?


But, sleep finally came for all of us.  The shock and stress of the day started to fade away.  As my mother always says, “Tomorrow is another day.”  And it was.  Friday came and we all started adjusting to our new reality.  The last 4 days are kind of a blur of getting into a routine, learning about the hospital, deciding what works and doesn’t work for me from the menu, listening to Baby Finn’s heart tones on the monitor, tears, and VISITORS!  Whew!  Surprisingly, this bed rest is hard work!  It is pretty hard on your body.  God didn’t make us to be this idle, and it really tires you out!  Plus, my iPhone dings like crazy with texts, phone calls, voice mails, Twitter alerts mentioning me, Facebook status updates and notifications, plus the never ending emails!  So, managing all of that seems to keep me busy, too.  OH!  And Words with Friends.  You people KILL me every game, but I like playing!  My kids have been up here 3 times, my parents twice, Britt a few times (yesterday even by himself!  BLISS!), and almost countless others.  Britt got me a little guest book to have folks sign, and I know we are going to treasure that forever.  I also have some owl friends watching over me, and the big family portrait on canvas from my living room at home is now hanging over the couch (we finally got guest furniture on Sunday after some families were discharged).  I have snacks, books, magazines, gift cards, chocolate, jelly beans, plastic ware, chargers for all my electronics, toiletries, and pretty much everything I think I could need at this point in baskets and a cabinet near my bed.  My sister-in-law is determined to come decorate.  I hope to be here for a long, LONG time, so everyone is trying to make this place feel like a home.  It’s getting there!


As for our health.  Things are staying the course.  Today, I am back to spotting and bleeding a small amount.  I actually had 2 days of no blood at all, but on rounds one morning my doctor told me not to get too secure in that, as my pattern has been to be stable for a few days, then have a huge incident.  I have also not had any cramping or contractions since I have been here.  While I have an IV port in my hand, I have not had any IV fluids or meds.  They draw my blood every 3 days for basic tests, but I am totally stable.  They check my BP and temp every 5-6 hours, and they monitor Finn on the heart tone monitor for one hour 2x a day.  That little adventure can prove to be tiring - taking up to 2.5 hours depending on how active Finn is being!  He’s still so little and has so much room to move around, we lose his tracking several times during the hour and have to move the monitor and start over.  BUT!  Every time they do it the nurses are super impressed with his activity level and heart rare.  He is doing SO WELL and is SO STRONG!  The doctor who did rounds this morning even mentioned how great his tracks are!  Good job, Little Buddy!  The nurses and staff are EXCELLENT, and I have been blessed with the same (awesome) day nurse everyday that I have been here.  And when she’s on duty, she will be with me!  That’s such a comfort and a great way to establish a relationship!


And for what lies ahead.  I am to “Lay still and know that he is God.”  (Paraphrase of Psalm 46:10 - my Uncle wrote this in the guest book.)  I am 24 weeks 4 days today.  We are still a few days from that HUGE 25 week date which marks viability in my little world.  That’s Friday.  And we can breathe a *tiny* sign of relief. Each week, each 24 hours after that is a huge blessing and one step closer to a healthy baby.  The doctor told us on Thursday that we are on a sliding scale right now.  It would take a LARGE event to spur delivery at this point, but as time goes on and the baby continues to grow, it would take a smaller and smaller event to put us into delivery.  I really want to be here 6-10 weeks at least.  That’s 30- 32 weeks gestation.  I’m 4 days in.  I can do this, right?


Things are a bit chaotic on the home front in Stilly, but Britt and my parents are working it out with the help of our AMAZING LifeGroup and other friends.  They are still getting meals, help with kid transport, and tons of offers for babysitting.  I know this is hard on everyone, and I just pray as the weeks progress we can all find a routine.  Please continue to pray for Finn and I, but also those in Stillwater left to fill in the gaps created by my being here.  I obviously would  not be anywhere else, but I get sad thinking about all I am missing out on back home, and how hard others are working to make sure it all goes off smoothly.

I am in a good mood today and had a great day yesterday.  Right now I am in the last 30 minutes of my morning Finn monitoring, and he is doing great.  I am excited to see what the next few days bring so I can share that with you, too.  In the meantime, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”  James 5:16

Deja Vu - All over again!

So, the last time I blogged was Friday.  It is now Wednesday night.  I have been to and from the hospital twice during that time.  Friday and Saturday were uneventful.  Getting used to this bed rest thing and sleeping whenever I wanted to!   Friday night was “date night.”  The girls were in OKC with their other Dad, and some friends brought us pizza, cheesecake, movies and flowers, and took Jake with them for a few hours so Britt could just RELAX and spend time with his bride.  I had a huge giggle fit during one of the movies, and we really enjoyed our time together.  Saturday was pretty quiet - Jake had a birthday party to go to and Britt made a Wal-Mart run for groceries.  Just a nice relaxing day.

Overnight  Saturday night I woke up to one of my infamous “gush” feelings.  Only this time, it didn’t feel the same.  I actually got some on the bed, and upon further inspection, it looks less like blood and more like fluid.  That’s no good.  That’s scary!  So, at 2:30 am, we loaded up Jake, his blanket, “Bobby” (his lovie) and headed BACK to L&D.  Because I was still bleeding, they could not check to see if what I was leaking was actually amniotic fluid, but they did over an ultra sound.  One of my favorite moments from the wee hours of the morning was when Britt and Jake had gotten all settled in on the fold out couch/bed thing, and I was hooked up to monitors so we could hear Finn’s heart tones, AND all his movement.  Jake looks up, looks around and says, “I can’t sleep with Finn’s heart beating so loud!”  Little did he know what a comfort that was to Mom and Dad.  

My doctor was in Colorado for the weekend, so one of his associates was on call.  She ordered the ultrasound, which again showed Baby to be doing SO well.  The only concern was that the dark spots (presumable clots) from last Wednesday were now bigger.  NOT what we wanted to hear, but still manageable.  So, they observed me for a few more hours, my bleeding never really got any worse, the doctor declared it a “bladder spasm” and that I had leaked urine (I still don’t believe that), and she released me to go back home to bed rest.

Monday and Tuesday passed by with lots of book reading and a little TV watching.  I had been gifted a Visa card for online shopping, so I had ordered Glee Season 2 on DVD (which arrived Tuesday) and several books for my Kindle.  In the meantime, my Kindle’s screen froze up (still haven’t called about that), so I had to download the books to my iPhone, but I still managed to read 3 books in 2 days.  WOW!  But, Tuesday evening I started not feeling well.  Just “off” somehow.  About 11pm, I decided I was constipated, so I sent the ever gallant husband to the store for some relief.  He got back, I took some meds, and we went to bed - hoping for relief in the morning...

I never really made it to “morning.”  I woke up at 1, still not feeling well, but not wanting to disturb my exhausted hubby, so I opted to try the couch.  At this point, I was feeling pretty crampy, and was praying it didn’t turn into contractions.  I slept off and on (and drank about 40 oz of water) until about 3:30, when I decided I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t bare it.  I made (yet another) trip to the restroom, trying for some relief - to no avail.  I laid on the couch some more, then decided I might feel better if I showered (it has been 5 days, and I know I am on strict bed rest,  but I was DIRTY and my hair - forget about it!).  That DID NOT help!  While I felt cleaner, I was now having contractions, and at a loss as to what I should be doing.  I was pacing the floor, I had finally gotten Britt in on the drama, and he was ready to go to the hospital LONG before I was!  I was not wanting to go BACK to L&D AGAIN!  I didn’t want to be poked and prodded.  I didn’t want an IV or blood draw, but most importantly, I didn’t want a nurse I had never had before that I had to explain my while story to AGAIN!  Needless to say, I was crying, in pain, and indecisive.  Britt got dressed, and said he was ready when I was.  At 5:30, I reluctantly got in the car with him - leaving the 3 kids at home and texting my mom to come hang with the littles.

The other thing I don’t like about coming to the hospital at that time at night is that it is still locked up, and you have to go through the ER, which adds TIME to the process.  Ugh Ugh Ugh.  And, lo and behold, I got a nurse who didn’t know my situation - AT ALL.  She was P*SSING me off, saying all the wrong things, and I knew more about what needed to be done with me than she did - simply because she didn’t know.  Once I was hooked up and being monitored, Britt and I were left to cry with each other.  I was having very painful contractions (which were not registering on the monitor, so the nurse kept saying I wasn’t having any!), and I just felt crappy.  That’s when it happened...

About 6:45... WORST. PAIN. EVER!  Up to this point, my blood had been pretty light.  I hadn’t even been bleeding when we left the house, but I did have a gush right as we got to the hospital.  But this next event is not for the squeamish to read.  if you are easily offended, skip to the next paragraph.  So, I was writing in pain, crying, and trying to spread my pain out by crushing my husband’s hand.  Then, I felt *something* come out “down there.”  The contraction let go, and i said to Britt, “I don’t know what just happened, but it was BIG!!!”  He asked if he should look, I said he could do what he wanted to - so he looked.  Then immediately pressed the nurse call button, got up, shivered, and crossed the room.   the nurse cam in to look at “it,” gathered up the pad I was sitting on and told us she was going to show “it” to the other nurses.  A little later, my day nurse came in, and we were talking about “it” - the blood clot.  She told me it was the size of a Chihuahua.  WHAT?!?!?  Of all the things in this world to compare it to, THAT’S what she chose???  LOL!  We had a good laugh about that all day.

Sonogram was next - and (as usual) Finn is doing great!  Having a dance party - just like he always does.  (Every time they came to monitor him today they had to chase him around my belly to keep a track on the heart tones!)  He has grown a lot, and now weighs 1
pound 7 ounces and measures right on track.  He had plenty of fluid, and all is great for him.  And, GLORY to GOD - she saw NONE of the spots and clots the other sonographers have been watching!  Is this it?  Was that the last of it?  The doctor came in not too much later (he was between surgery cases), and was pleased with the sono report, but was a bit worried about one of the numbers on my blood test, so he told me he wanted me to stay overnight and re-do the blood draw in the morning.  He also said we still have no idea what this is or why it is happening.  He said in his 30 years of having a medical license, he has NEVER seen a case like this.  I am causing him bald spots as he scratches his head while thinking about my case.  In the meantime, he was going to call my specialist at Mercy and see what they thought the next step should be.

I had a few more small contractions after I birthed the Chihuahua, and a few more after the sonogram, and none since then.  I feel SO MUCH BETTER!  And my bleeding has tapered off as the day went along.  I am comfortable in a regular recovery room, and settling in for the stay.  The afternoon/evening were a bit nutty getting everyone where they needed to be, but I got to see my kids for a minute, and even had a “mini” LifeGroup in my hospital room.

But, there was some not quite as exciting news this evening, too.  My doctor came in, and he had consulted with my specialist earlier today.  The verdict?  Since we don’t know what this is, and I only seem to stay stable a couple of days, I am being transferred to hospital bed rest at Mercy in OKC sometime Thursday or Friday for the duration of this pregnancy.  While we feel I am not in imminent danger of delivering, we need to be close to the NICU just in case.  It really is the best situation for all of us.

This is a scary time for me, and for my family.  A lot of changes are happening very quickly, and it is a bit overwhelming.  I know this is the right thing to do for my baby and the future of my family, but I worry about the strain this can cause for my kids, my husband, and my parents.  Please be in prayer for all of us during this time.  It is a time of adjustment, again!  I just know that this baby is going to do GREAT things all for the GLORY of GOD!  Can I get an AMEN?