Bucket List

Urban Dictionary says a bucket list is “A list of things to do before you die.  Comes from the term ‘kicked the bucket.’ I need to remember to add skydiving to my bucket list.”

I’ve never really made a “Bucket List.”  Not sure why.  Just didn’t feel the need?  Probably. Don’t have anything to put on it? Not Likely. Living every day to the fullest so its redundant? Hmmm… Maybe?  I don’t really know.  But I do know people who are very serious about their lists.  Accomplishing one per year, or posting it in their home or office and physically marking one off as it is met.  I love that spirit; that determination!  I like goals.  I write those down.  So, in a way, that’s like a “mini bucket list” I guess…

I am thinking about this today since I have seen the term (over)used this weekend on my social highlight reels media feeds.  A local little league team won a state tournament.  A 90’s Country Super Star and Oklahoma native played 4 concerts in 2 days (or something like that) in OKC. Summer beach vacations to exotic and “once in a lifetime” locations.  Bucket list: CHECK, CHECK, CHECK! I am so happy for everyone who got to check something off their list this summer!  It’s truly a priceless memory for you, and I enjoy sharing in the experience through your pictures.  THANK YOU for letting me in, just a little.

So, what about my bucket list?  What should I put on it?  What do I want to “do before I die?”  As a start, I’d say: Love Jesus.  Be more like Him every day.  Shine His light to others. Grow tiny humans into AMAZING adults - who love Jesus, want to be more like Him every day, and shine His light to others. [Work in progress, so ½ CHECK]

What else?  What experiences?  LOVE, truly love, others.  BE loved.  Be cherished, treasured, valued. To make a difference in someone’s life. Show grace every chance I can.  We all make mistakes, we ALL need grace. (Spotify totally “gets” me!  Grace Upon Grace by Brooke + Boggs just came on!) If you’ve met my husband and kids, and know them, you KNOW these things happen daily in our house. [Repeat these goals daily: CHECK] (*sidebar – don’t get me wrong!  We are NOT perfect, and I am pretty sure I am the least perfect among us – but, GRACE!)

Beyond that, my mind goes completely blank.  There’s nowhere I “need” to go before I die.  I am happiest in my home in the presence of the family and friends that love me best.  There’s nothing material I “need” to buy to fill a gap (although I have a short list of things I would like to have…).  And there is no one I “need” to meet before I die.  Because, the only guy I really want to encounter, I don’t get to see until I get to Heaven and fall in to his loving arms.  Where there is no pain.  No weeping.  No “need.”  [Until that day: CHECK]

God showed me what Grace truly looks like when he brought Britt into our (Mine, Emma’s and Lara’s) lives.  You see, the 3 years before that were filled with very little grace, and had been something no one would put on a bucket list.  But, God!  When I wasn’t looking, when I felt least loved, when mistakes made me feel worthless, God showered out grace by introducing me to my future husband.  And, because I don’t receive gifts well sometimes, I almost missed out on it.  Good thing my God moves mountains and has perfect timing!

Let me tell you about him.  Britt.  Giver.  Thinker.  Entertainer.  Loves Fiercely.  Laughs incessantly. Lives abundantly. He loves Jesus, and he loves us.  As the spiritual leader of our home, he makes sure we pray.  He encourages us to be in the Word daily. He drives us to church every weekend – even when we are sweaty and sunburned from long days of baseball.  He is insanely smart.  I may have scored highly on an IQ test as a teenager, made good grades in high school and graduated college with a double major, but my husband is infinitely smarter than I am!  This, in itself, makes the grace God granted an irreplaceable gift!  He is always the first to offer whatever he can others.  Generous beyond measure.  His time, his talents, his treasure – he knows they are not his and they are gifts to be shared. A lesson he is still teaching me and one I will never be as good at, but I marvel at his ability to be this way without a second thought and I strive to emulate him. He is the light in any darkness.  My husband loves to laugh, and God gave him the best sense of humor and the ability to share it so easily with others.  Everyone that spends time with him knows he is FUNNY, and truly appreciates it.  No one in our house goes a full day without a good, hearty laugh. And never at your own expense.  He knows how to laugh WITH you, not AT you.  He is loyal, committed, and honorable.  If he says he is going to do something, he does it.  And he does it well.  His word MEANS something.  And oh!  His LOVE!  It’s BIG!  It covers more ground than any of us deserve (Sounds a bit like Jesus, no?) Every single one of us is unlovable at times.  But it doesn’t matter to him.  When my demons are loud and my tears are real and my words harsh, Britt is right by my side.  When the kids’ dreams are fading in front of their eyes and their hearts are broken for any reason, he is the first to offer a shoulder and a wise word of encouragement.  When we’ve all had too much screen time and our phones/devices are growing out of our palms, he reminds us to put them down!  He puts every single need I or one of the kids perceives we have in front of his own.  His love language is giving gifts.  He loves to surprise us with anything that will bring a smile to our face.  Tiny and meaningful only to the receiver, or big and boisterous for all to see – same love in them all.

With a love like this in my life, the grace I have received, and all the other amazing blessings that surround me, it seems somehow selfish to pen a “bucket list.”  But, friends, there is ONE THING I “need” in this season of my life.  If you’ve followed our story, you already know what it is.  But I will ask again.  My amazing, wonderful, incomparable husband NEEDS A JOB.  Did you know it has been 11 LONG months (today) since he became unemployed?  It’s been a tremendous storm.  Unimaginable, relentless, devastating in so many ways.  But we have gained so much from it, too!  Incredible patience.  The generosity of friends and strangers alike.  Faith in our God and his perfect timing.  I believe in the power of prayer and I know a God that performs miracles daily.  The time has not been right yet, but I know it’s coming. 

Please pray with me.  For provision during this storm, and for my husband’s employment.  So many opportunities that fell through in the 11^th hour.  So many discouraging phone calls and emails.  So many unpaid bills.  He has never had more than a moment of doubt, a minute of fear, or a second of sadness.  Unfathomable.  For me – Queen of Anxiety and Depression.  But I look at him and it makes me stronger.  He reminds me that this is not about me, or the kids, or even him!  It’s about JESUS and trust.  I trust you, Lord.  I trust you. 

Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I try to win this war
I confess, my hands are weary, I need Your rest
Mighty warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face You're by my side

When You don't move the mountains
I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You

          ~Lauren Daigle, “Trust In You”

My amazing husband (that’s what I call him; that’s how is name is saved in my phone contacts)

came to check on me and see what I was doing.  He asked if I was writing him a love letter when he saw me typing.  My knee-jerk reaction was to say no.  But, yes.  YES!  YES – I WROTE YOU A LOVE LETTER!  I love you and I love Jesus in you.  I love who you are and what you do.  I love you as a man, a husband, a step-father, and a father.  And my love for you grows everyday.  I am so thankful for a God that provides, and shows us GRACE.

The One About Summer Nights

July 7 - 10, 2017
Summer Days are drifting away!  Bu, OH!  Those summer nights... Can a "weekend" start on a Thursday night?  'Cuz this one kind of did.  And it was worth it.

Lara:

Around lunch time on Thursday, it was decided that we would go to Twilight Swim (6:30-8:30pm) at the "Water Park" in Cushing, OK.  We left Stillwater after I got home from work, and got there a few minutes before the gates opened.  Spent the whole 2 hours splashing around!  After a (much too long) trip to Walmart for 2 of the boys in attendance, we attempted dinner in Cushing.  At 9:30pm.  On a Thursday night. In the middle of summer.  We finally got to a pizza place.  We finally got food.  Well, the pizza Lara and I were sharing ended up 2/3 on the floor, and we had to wait for ANOTHER one, but we did get to eat.  We got back home at 10:15pm.  But then we all stayed up to watch the DVR'd episode of Boy Band that showed earlier in the evening...

Friday night was much more calm.  We all were still recovering from Thursday night!  So, some TV time, and a much more respectable bedtime.  Saturday morning we got up early for "Little" Brother Jake's basketball team to play in a tournament in Oklahoma City.  Lara always has a choice as to whether to go or not, and she usually chooses to go.  She's our "Sporty Spice" and her involvement with the Athletic Training program with the school is a big part of her life.  So, being Jake's "Super Fan" is right up her alley.  Long day with 4 games, but we got to try a hamburger joint we had been told about that we had never been to before, so that was a fun time, too.

Got home late afternoon, and found the movie "Grease" on the Freeform channel!  What a great way to spend a couple of hours!  (And, it may or may not have influenced this post...).  Since the fireworks here in Stillwater got cancelled for the 4th... AND for the 5th, the 8th was the reschedule date.  Kinda of fun for a Saturday night, I suppose! None of us are big on crowds, and Finn FREAKS at loud noises, we drove to a parking garage on the Oklahoma State University campus where the top level overlooked Boomer Lake and Park nicely, tuned our radio to 93.7 to hear the music that went along with the show, and enjoyed the fireworks!  It was WONDERFUL!  accompanied by a great looking moon, an almost cool evening (I was in a light weight sweater), and great company.

Sunday we got to sleep in a little bit... Jake was back to basketball in OKC by late morning, accompanied by his family again!  Lara got to watch Jake and his Bandit team battle through losing yesterday to make it to the Championship game, AND THEN WIN IT!  These boys haven't played much or practiced ANY since we all just wrapped up baseball, so it was a thrilling day.

A quick dinner on the road so we would make it back to Stillwater to take in Week 1 of AT THE MOVIES at the Life.Church Stillwater campus.  Our lobby is all decked out in a STAR WARS-esque theme, and the message Pastor Craig Groeschel pulled out of the 2016 movie Hacksaw Ridge was INCREDIBLE.  What a great way to end the weekend!

Emma:
I didn't see Emma this weekend.  Sometimes, plans change.

The One That Started with a BANG!

June 30 - July 3 (4), 2017
So, this past weekend was the first in my countdown.  This was weekend #151. (Thanks for all the awesome response, BTW!  I am so glad to get to bring you along on this journey of weekends as we countdown.)  And, it was a L O N G weekend!  From Friday night until the last fireworks launched and exploded in the night sky late Tuesday evening, it was a weekend jam packed with family, friends, and memories.  I am still not sure what the best format for these little notes will be, so it might change as we learn together how best to document these times.  As for today, I am going to do it chronologically, by twin.  We will see how that looks and make changes as we grow.

Lara (age 15 years, 1 month; Stillwater, OK)

Friday night, Lara was still with her friends at Falls Creek (Church Camp) in the Arbuckle Mountains of south central Oklahoma.  It was their last night there, and I am sure she was making the most of it!  She was good to call me every day and tell me fun snippets and stories from her day.  I still remember MY days at Falls Creek as a youth, so I know she will cherish these days.

She arrived back in Stillwater mid-day on Saturday; she was excited about the trip she had been on and thoroughly exhausted by it as well.  She wanted food, her bed, and some peace and quiet.  I obliged her all of those, but only after telling her that I had arranged a babysitting job for her at 6:00 that evening.  My pittance for the short turn around was that I did all of her camp laundry – as well as the 2 weeks of laundry that had piled up before she left.  This is a big deal.  I haven’t done her laundry since 5^th grade!  While her nap was not quite long enough, she made it to her baby-sitting job, and her clients were very pleased with her work!

Sunday, was truly a day of rest for her.  No one asked anything of her, and she kept a lazy schedule.  Monday was more of the same.  With the Holiday coming up on Tuesday, everyone was keeping it low key and just preparing for the upcoming festivities! 

Tuesday – Fourth of July!  We were going over to some friends’ house that evening for food and fireworks.  We had a few items we were bringing with us, so we dedicated the morning to food prep.  Lara had decided earlier that she wanted to make celebratory cupcakes, so she set about that task.  She even let her 2 little brothers help along the way – with minimal bickering.  Later in the afternoon, we stopped by Uncle Brian’s gravesite, set off our traditional smoke bombs commemorate his favorite holiday, and reminding ourselves of how much we miss him.  Then, it was off to our get-together!

Celebrating our Freedom with a family that means so much to us was an excellent way to spend a beautiful evening.  It was HOT and STICKY when we got there in the late afternoon, but by the time the sun started setting and we went about blowing up a vast pile of pyrotechnics, it really was a nice night.  Lara spent time with wonderful friends and family, and we all had a fabulous time!  I will let these pictures speak for themselves, just a little….

Emma (age 15 years, 1 month; Orlando, OK)

Emma was not with me this weekend, so my knowledge of her weekend is a bit more ambiguous.  Nevertheless, I know she had a great Fourth of July!  Thanks to her Social Media, I got a glimpse into what she was doing from her Instagram posts and her Insta-story.  I am sure her Snap Chat was much more exciting, but I don’t Snap.  I asked her what her favorite thing was from this weekend and she told me it was watching fireworks from her house.  While probably not “fun,” I also know she had some sort of mishap in her barn and may have broken some toes.  We will have to see how that pans out.  I hope that this accident will not turn out to be the most memorable part of her summer! Looks like from the photos she had a good time with her friends and stored up some memories!

Next weekend both girls should be in the same place.  I can’t wait to see what memories we will build moving forward!