One Word 2025

 

For the last few weeks leading up to the start of a new year - a BIG year in our lives, I was listening for my one word.  Practicing the skill of discernment that I have been perfecting over the last year.  Looking up some of the words that resonated to me in the dictionary, popular culture, and most importantly, their context in the bible.  There were about 10 that stood out in one way or another. Then I narrowed it down to 3 that held my attention. And finally, THE ONE. 

ONWARD.

Not the Pixar movie. Or the VR video game. Nothing to do with Penn State.

THIS type of Onward: Continually seeking spiritual growth and maturity; Remaining steadfast in faith during trials and uncertainties; Actively participating in the mission to spread the Gospel; Trusting in God's guidance and provision for the future.

First of all, it is one of those words that after you say it about a dozen times, it starts to sound well, awkward. Weird, even. Not like a normal word in the English language! But once we get past the quirk of semantic habituation (look it up; its real!), the word has a lot of meaning, impact, and value for goal setting. Perfect for 2025!

I investigated the word "onward" and its impact on my world, and I found myself using the concepts I studied in a "looking forward" lens.  This upcoming year is BIG.  Jake will graduate high school, pick a college (most likely far from home), and go there to play basketball and get an education.  Finn will be thrust into only-child status - with OLD parents.  The girls are getting deep into their adult lives - and change is inevitable.  And all the other family factors we are experiencing play into this as well.

Progress over Perfection

This concept was introduced to me in Graduate School a few years ago, and over the last year as my job became both more challenging and more demanding, I was forced to lean into it again with new reverence for the idea.  Which was hard for me - I am a bit of a perfectionist.  But with a husband that I strive to be a great partner for, 4 kids ranging in age from 22 - 13 with various needs, wants, desires, time commitments, problems, and performances to tend to, plus elderly parents, it has come to my attention that I cannot do all of these things at 100% all of the time.  But, I CAN make progress.  I can do what is needed, what is required, and make my expectations and boundaries clear.  I can show up as much as I can show up - as long as it is healthy, wise, and it honors God.  My boundaries matter, but it is my job to protect them.  And it is also my job to communicate to everyone on my team, and in my tribe, what those lines of demarcation are - no one can read my mind.

Onward

A new beginning won't always feel like a giant leap that happened overnight. That's where I find myself today. 2024 has brought about MANY little steps, short walks, a hike or two, and even a couple of marathons along the way.  There are times when moving onward looks like entering a new space where everything is practically a blank page, but then there are other times when we carry pieces of the past with us. I am bringing a LOT of things from 2024 into 2025.  Most I am grateful for, some need to find their exit this year.

Focused on the Goal

Philippians 3:12-14 - The Message:

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back.

 

So, how do we perpetuate this forward progress?  Press forward with steadfastness in Christ by having faith in Him. Make Him the central focus of your thoughts and actions. Moving onward is a powerful call to action. It’s about working towards the future with intention, guided by the divine purpose God has laid out for each of us. I will continue to use discernment this year as I make decisions in all of these pivotal areas of our lives, and most importantly, I will strive to the balance and joy God promises.  I wrote last year that comparison is the thief of joy - and it still is!  Knowing I am pressing on, walking closer to God, and discerning his intentions for me and my family is what will bring me my ultimate joy.  Onward in infinite and the goal is always clear.  

Philippians 4:8 advises us to focus on whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy. By filling our minds with such thoughts, we cultivate a mindset that reflects God’s goodness and propels us towards His plans for us. Taking every thought captive and aligning our focus with virtues that resonate with God’s nature is essential in pressing forward. It enables us to sift through the noise and distractions of life, identifying and holding onto what truly matters.

May you never forget the good things worth carrying with you, and may your gratitude for them only grow over time. Pace yourself into this new beginning, prioritize closeness with God, and continue in a forward direction. Onward.

As I do every year, it is time to look back over my one word posts from years past to see how I came to use them as my focus for the year and to assess outcomes.  How well I was able to maintain that focus.  What God brought me to or brought me through because of my one word.  How my family changed and grew from my yearly focus.  Here is a list of the previous posts, if you are interested:

2024 - Discernment

2023 - Celebrate!

2022 - satisfied

2021 - hope

2020 - breath

2019 - listen

2018 - welcome

2017 - closer  (I was anxious, and blog-averse, as we opened 2017, so it's a short FB post)

2016 - greater

2015 - brave

2014 - joyful

2013 - resolution

Here is to 2025.  Onward - progress, perseverance, and the forward movement towards God. Always moving forward and continuing the journey. Always going further rather than coming to an end or halting. Onward is an attitude that continually propels forward movement and resists stagnation. The call to move onward is a call to live a life of purpose, faith, and obedience, ever pressing toward the fulfillment of God's promises and the ultimate hope of eternal life with Him.

One Word 2024

2023.  Lots of ups and downs.  Lots of adjustments.  Lots of new things for everyone.  It was a leaning lesson, but there was so much joy and accomplishment!  I think a lot of growth occurred as we navigated parenting 2 young adults, a full-fledged independent teenager, and a tween still finding his wings.  All of that at once it a lot, but Britt changed jobs half way through the year and some how we are still adjusting to me being in a different town most days of the week.  But all in all, it was a decent year.  We lost Britt's dad, I had 2 surgeries, and Lara had one, plus some of us got Covid again, but overall we are healthy.  We are all ending the year in good places - looking forward to what 2024 has on the horizon.

My One Word for 2024 is “Discernment.” When I was younger, I was blessed and honored to learn that discernment is one of my spiritual gifts.  As a teenager and young adult, I leaned into it, but probably used it in a less than mature way.  As I got a little older, I was able to be more careful, thoughtful, and intentional in how I used this gift.  What is discernment?  Let's start there

Some dictionary definitions I found:

• the ability to judge well
• the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure
• (in Christian contexts) perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual guidance and understanding

For a Christian, discernment is a process by which God helps an individual reach the best decision. The Latin root of “discernment” means to “separate” or “set apart.” In Christian life, it is the ability to separate good from evil, truth from falsehood, wisdom from foolishness.

There have been many times in my life where I just "felt" the answers. I had an understanding of what I should do and how i should do it without knowing the why behind it. I am able to read people and their intentions better than most. This often leaves me a bit guarded and reluctant to be vulnerable, which exhibit itself in extreme anxiety. So, along with my goal this year to focus back in on, and strengthen my discernment "muscle," I am also going to try to curb my anxiety reflex. I have been on ant-anxiety meds for years, and I know my triggers, but I feel like working the tool of Godly discernment with the battle against my human angst, I may come out on top more often!

2024 will bring MANY big decisions for my family. A few I can foresee, but I also know there are probably more I cannot even fathom or begin to prepare for. This is my second factor in choosing 'discernment' as my One Word for 2024. Sometimes, just knowing these decisions are coming created a wash of anxiety over me - and sometimes that is overwhelming. I think that is why God laid this work on my heart. When I feel anxious about these decisions, I will TRUST GOD to show me his truth while uncovering the world's lies.

Discernment acts as a means of protection, guarding us from being deceived spiritually. It protects us from being blown away by the winds of teaching that make central an element of the gospel that is peripheral or treat a particular application of Scripture as though it were Scripture‘s central message. This year as I focus on this, discernment well serve as a catalyst to spiritual development: “The mocker seeks wisdom and finds none, but knowledge comes easily to the discerning” (Prov. 14:6). The discerning Christian goes to the heart of the matter. 

My three focus verses for this are:

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2).

“And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ” (Philippians 1:9-10).

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).

 

As I reflect on these verses, and seal them on my heart, I also have 3 specific prayers to help me focus on this skill, hone it, and cast out all fear:

• Lord, God, please give me an understanding heart and a sensitivity to Your ways.

• Lord, help me to distinguish between the truth of Your Word and the lies of this world.

• Lord God, help me to discern between Your voice and the enemy’s voice. May Your gentle warnings be louder in my ears than the enemy’s empty threats.

I want to grow closer to God, and lean on his understanding  I want to me less anxious, and more certain in the decisions we have to make this year.  I want to listen, and not speak.  I want to have peace with the decisions we are making as a family, and I want to care less what others think of me, my family, our motives, and our path in life. 

As Christians believe that our ultimate source of wisdom and truth comes from God. We know our hearts are deceitful, and that we cannot stake our life decisions upon our feelings (Jeremiah 17:9). 

Gaining discernment does not come from gazing out over the ocean and looking deep inside ourselves, but rather it comes from setting our eyes on God's wisdom.

As I do every year, it is time to look back over my one word posts from years past to see how I came to use them as my focus for the year and to assess outcomes.  How well I was able to maintain that focus.  What God brought me to or brought me through because of my one word.  How my family changed and grew from my yearly focus.  Here is a list of the previous posts, if you are interested:

2023 - Celebrate!

2022 - satisfied

2021 - hope

2020 - breath

2019 - listen

2018 - welcome

2017 - closer  (I was anxious, and blog-averse, as we opened 2017, so it's a short FB post)

2016 - greater

2015 - brave

2014 - joyful

2013 - resolution

Here is to 2024.  Discernment - Knowing not just what is "right," but what is ALWAYS right in the eyes of the Lord. Comparison is STILL the thief of joy - choose to rejoice in all that is good and glorifies God!

One Word 2023

2022 was ROUGH. Brought out the worst in me more times than I can count. Life-changing decisions were made in many areas of my life. All of which I am so thankful for in the ways I have been able to grow, lead, and adapt. But there were moments - DAYS - when the transition wasn’t pretty. The trap I found myself in often was the comparison trap. I am the first person to tell you that comparison is the thief of joy. But I forgot to tell myself. 

So for 2023, my One Word is “Celebrate!” I want to celebrate and not compare. I want to acknowledge and embrace my and my family’s own unique strengths and accomplishments without holding them up to see how they measure with others. My path is my own, and it is my responsibility as a mom to show my kids how to applaud the accomplishments we each make. God has granted us this beautiful life, and even on the messy days, we should praise his faithfulness and goodness. 

“They celebrate your abundant goodness and joyfully sing of your righteousness.” Psalm 145:7

Looking back at 2022, and my word of "satisfied," initially I felt that I fell short of being satisfied last year.  As a family, we made so many changes - home town, schools, jobs, and roles in the family.  My job, as a new role in a new department with a new boss and a team who had no higher education experience, was anything but static.  All of these changes, unknowns and new adventures left me feeling anything but satisfied.  But with the gift of time, hindsight, and fresh perspective, I see how I was able to embrace and manifest a sense of satisfaction in 2022.  Satisfied that despite all the rumors and chatter and attempts to make me feel bad about my family decisions, I am extremely satisfied with how the second half of 2022 panned out.  Despite the daily uncertainties in my job, I ended the year with a prestigious award recognizing my role and the ways I impacted our students and staff.  My children, all four of them, faced with change and adversity and nerve-racking challenges, are THRIVING!  Both girls are on the cusp of college graduation and jumping into the "real world."  The oldest son living his DREAM and wearing that 42 with pride - always coaching from the bench and being a leader.  And that baby boy?  He has blown us all away!  Maturity, joy, charisma - all of it!  He is a completely different kid than he was 12 months ago.  And ALL of it with the most amazing man right by my side!  Pulling me up when I am down, walking beside me in the dark, and cheering me on from the sidelines.  He is my best friend, and the past 17 years with him have been nothing short of amazing.  My marriage leaves me immensely satisfied - daily.

As I do every year, it is time to look back over my one word posts from years past to see how I came to use them as my focus for the year and to assess outcomes.  How well I was able to maintain that focus.  What God brought me to or brought me through because of my one word.  How my family changed and grew from my yearly focus.  Here is a list of the previous posts, if you are interested:

2022 - satisfied

2021 - hope

2020 - breath
2019 - listen
2018 - welcome
2017 - closer  (I was anxious, and blog-averse, as we opened 2017, so it's a short FB post)
2016 - greater
2015 - brave
2014 - joyful
2013 - resolution

Here is to 2023.  Celebrate! Comparison is the thief of joy - choose to rejoice in all that is good!

(Also - this did not get published on Jan 1 due to BRINGING MY DADDY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL after a 2 week stay.  I was busy getting that taken care of!)

One Word: 2022

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22! 2022, that is.  And for me, a new year means a new focus.  I choose a word every year to help focus my accomplishments, to remind me of my purpose, and to help me grow in some way.  Some years, I feel like I choose the word, and many years, it feels like the word chooses me.  Before I start writing, I pray about my life, my areas of opportunity for growth, and what I want to accomplish in the coming year.  I entered 2020 with the nativity we all had - completely unaware of the rough seas that were on the horizon.  We opened 2021 with hope, plans, and the promise of things turning around - only to not see it turn out quite that way.  So, we enter 2022 with more of that hope for 2021, but also the reality that this is the new normal.  Supply chain issues, inflation, masks, Covid variants, vaccines and boosters, uncertainty.  So, with all of those thoughts in my prayers, the one word that found me this year is SATISFIED.

The first word that came to me, honestly, was "content."  As in, "in a state of peaceful happiness."  Gratified, fulfilled, happy, pleased.  But, because of the social media, streaming services, internet connected world we live in hears "CONtent" and thinks immediately of the created content we consume every waking moment, I dove a little deeper.  thought more about the meaning of each of these similar words, and what my goals are for 2022.  That's when I landed on satisfied.  Contented; pleased. Content, fulfilled, quenched. I love the imagery there!

As many of you know, I struggle (STRUG. GLE.) with depression.  Sprinkled with an inappropriate but omnipresent amount of anxiety.  I usually have it under control with medication, self-reflection, writing, and the loving support of my AMAZING husband.  But some days, it is overwhelming.  I have physical, as well as spiritual, and emotional responses to this - and they're not always positive.  And are never in the best interest of my overall health.  So, I work on this every day.  Somedays, I win.  Many days, the demons do.  So, for 2022, after all the negativity, struggle, and unevenness of the last 2 calendar years, I am looking toward finding ways to be satisfied.  With everything.

Not perfection. Not necessarily happiness  But peace; contentment; fulfillment.  A feeling of my thirst for life being gratifyingly quenched - no matter the circumstance.  I have let my CIRCUMSTANCES determine my resp0nse for way too long.  I am going to focus on how blessed I am, WE ARE, in every way.  

The timing of the global pandemic, the end of my Master's degree studies, and a seismic job change have left me a little lost.  Parenting 2 adult children, a strong-willed teenaged boy, and a tween who just wants to find his place is TOUGH!  Add to that aging parents for both me and my husband, a home to maintain, etc etc etc.  And, mourning the perceived  "loss" of my girls.  While my nest isn't empty, my girls are not here to keep my Mama Cup filled in the way only a daughter can.  I miss them SO DANG MUCH!  But, I also LOVE watching them fly!  I love the maturity that comes with this stage in life.  I am enjoying hearing their stories - triumphs and rough patches alike, but I miss being able to hug them, share silly stories, or just watch a TV show together on a whim.  I guess I need girl time more than I thought!  Add to that, in my old job position, I had 2 BEST FRIENDS in the office.  We talked every single day - multiple times a day - about EVERYTHING.  Work, husbands, kids, dogs, our families, our dreams, our goals.  We just "get" each other.  And we are working diligently to maintain that friendship, but it's a lot harder when we are not all in the same place 9 hours a day.  Add to that, in my new position, I am the only woman on our very small team.  It's an adjustment, for sure.

There is satisfaction in ALL of it, and I am choosing to find it, and EMBRACE it.  I tend toward the negative, and I know that, so this is a stretch for me.  I am here for it!  I want to be satisfied.  I want to feel content.  I yearn to drink from the fountain and feel quenched.  2022 will be this for me.

Like 6:21 (NLV) says, " God blesses you who are hungry now, for you will be satisfied. God blesses you who weep now, for in due time you will laugh."  This speaks to me as I enter into this new season of my life.  The last two years have left me hungry.  So now, it is a time for satisfaction.  There was weeping, so now let there be laughter. This is one of God's faithful promises.

I also enjoy looking back over my one word posts from years past to see how I came to use them as my focus for the year and to assess outcomes.  How well I was able to maintain that focus.  What God brought me to or brought me through because of my one word.  How my family changed and grew from my yearly focus.  Here is a list of the previous posts, if you are interested:

2021 - hope

2020 - breathe
2019 - listen
2018 - welcome
2017 - closer  (I was anxious, and blog-averse, as we opened 2017, so it's a short FB post)
2016 - greater
2015 - brave
2014 - joyful
2013 - resolution

Here is to 2022.  Welcome! May you be satisfied in so many ways!

.

The Thrill of HOPE (One Word 2021)

 

A look back on 2020: Well, THAT escalated quickly!

Global Pandemic will do that to you!  2020 was rough.  In a lot of ways.  Too many ways.  But while there was loss, and missing out, and pain, there was also growth, resilience, and closeness.  As I sat down to write about my One Word for 2021, I reviewed last year's word, breathe,  and reflected on how it impacted my year.  This is the closing paragraph of the blog from last year: 

A new chapter, a new year, a new DECADE!  So much will be changing in my life over the next 12-24 months.  And while I cannot wait, I also know my anxiety will be high.  I am working hard this year to stay in front of it.  Medication, prayer, and just breathing.

Man!  Talk about prophetic!  Changed my meds early in the year - for the better.  Endless prayer for so many situations over the past 12 months!  And, because of the lockdowns, closures, remote schedules, and distance learning, I was able to breathe.  I didn't always recognize it in the moment, but it was there.  I was reminded over and over I was not in control.  GOD is in control.  It was my job to pray, listen (One Word 2019), and just breathe. 

The year 2021, for so many, is a year of HOPE.  Hope for a vaccination so we can get back to a more normal routine.  HOPE for families to recover financially from the stress this pandemic has caused.  HOPE for growth and development from the lessons learned over this tumultuous year.  HOPE for peace from all the divisiveness in our world.  HOPE for a break from the stress and strife.  I know where to find that hope - IN JESUS!

This year's word came to me over the Christmas season.  I have always loved the song "O Holy Night."  The line "A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices" spoke to me every time I heard that song this past month.  The THRILL!  A sudden feeling of excitement and pleasure.  We all want that for 2021!  And HOPE!  A feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.  This year is ripe with expectation and desire. "For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn."  2021 is a new,  and glorious morn!  There is HOPE!  We can fall on our knees, and love one another! We can live in His law of love and Gospel of Peace.  

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  He knows!  He knows we are weary, broken, and looking for more.  REST in him.  LEAN IN to the hope he has for us.  Hebrews 10:23 says "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful."  This is your call, too!  Profess your hope; God is always faithful.  He will continue to strengthen you while you are in a place of waiting.  Isaiah 40:31 tells us "those who hope in the Lod will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

So, in 2021, I will stand in my faith.  I will HOPE for my future, my family's future, and the future of our local community, our state, and our nation.  I will take action when guided by the Holy Spirit, and I will pray for discernment in all my decisions.  I will continue to listen to God's whispers, and I will also breathe through the tough moments.  

"As for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more." Psalm 71:14

Welcome to 2021.  I hope you have a GREAT year, and you can renew your strength from the lessons 2020 forced us to learn. Sing sweet hymns of joy and Praise His Holy Name!  There is a THRILL of HOPE!

I can see HOPE in 2021

New Year, New WORD 2020

As we embark on a new year, another trip around the sun, the time has come for me to find my ONE WORD.  One word to guide my course for the year.  One word to help me focus, to remind me who I am and WHOSE I am.  One word to ground me, center me, and keep me from spiraling out of control when life gets crazy.  And although I struggled with "finding" my one word for 2020 when God finally revealed it to me yesterday, I knew it was RIGHT and I was excited to start praying over it, researching it, and finding my focus verse to go along with it.

My word for 2019 was Listen.  I wanted to be slower to speak.  To really hear what people were saying to me instead of waiting for my turn to talk.  I did not perfect my craft, but I did make great strides.  I can now remind myself to listen when I need to, and I don't have to remind myself as often as I did 12 months ago.  I still want to work on this skill, but I also want to grow in another area this year.

My ONE WORD for 2020 is BREATHE.  In all senses of the word.  First, to breathe, slow down, and calm down when life gets crazy.  The past 4-5 months have been very intense with 4 kids in 7 schools and all their activities, my full-time job which is constantly in flux it seems, the responsibilities and pressure of being a Graduate Student, and trying to be an excellent wife to my amazing husband, sometimes I forget to breathe,  So much so, that I have been to the doctor and added a new medication to my regime to help combat the panic attacks and general anxiety. 

But also, to breathe in what's happening around me.  My 2 oldest kids are graduating high school and starting college this year.  All the while I will still have 2 more kids who need my attention as well as continuing my own studies.  Being present, in the moment, means so much to my children, and I need to breathe that in.  More "In Real Life" and less "Fear Of Missing Out."

Breathe in God's peace and presence.  I always feel the most at ease during worship at church on the weekends.  I feel God's comfort in that space while singing words of praise to Him.  I want to breathe in that peace, and then remember it, replicate it, and revel in it throughout the busy weeks.  I pray that being cognizant of this will help it become a reality.

And to actually, physically, breathe.  Fill my lungs, exchange oxygen for carbon dioxide.  Inhale, Exhale (Jane the Virgin, anyone?).  It is amazing the GOOD a deep breathe can do for you.  It calms, focuses, and centers you.  It just feels good.  Doing this more, and keeping the spirals at bay, will help me be productive and meet all the goals I need to this year.

Sing Praises to the Lord

I am a daughter of the One True King.  I am beautiful because I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14).  I am blessed because I believe the Lord will fulfill His promises to me (Luke 1:45), He restores my soul (Psalm 23:3).  And because He gives me breath, I will sing PRAISES to the Lord (Psalm 150:6).

I think it is important to see where I have come on this ONE WORD journey, so here is my list of words since I started this endeavor:

2019 - listen
2018 - welcome
2017 - closer  (I was anxious, and blog-averse, as we opened 2017, so it's a short FB post)
2016 - greater
2015 - brave
2014 - joyful
2013 - resolution

Welcome to 2020!  I new chapter, a new year, a new DECADE!  So much will be changing in my life over the next 12-24 months.  And while I cannot wait, I also know my anxiety will be high.  I am working hard this year to stay in front of it.  Medication, prayer, and just breathing.

I Need to See You in My Office

Last Thursday (Thursday, August 31) was a fantastic day.  It was another day that the Lord made, and I was glad to be rejoicing in it.  The air was electric.  Working on the beautiful campus of Oklahoma State University, I get to feel the tangible charge and hear the unquestionable buzz in the air for the first home game of the OSU Cowboy Football season.  Add to that the excitement and anticipation of the season opener for the Stillwater High School Varsity Pioneers as they travel for their first game to Edmond, and the enthusiasm was real. Evident in everything.  It was contagious. It was exhilarating. It. Was. AWESOME!

Because of parking and other logistical concerns and issues that arise with a home football game in the middle of the work week, my boss had given me the choice of leaving a little early to avoid some of the inevitable chaos that would grow as the afternoon wore on and kick off at Boone Pickens Stadium loomed.  My plan was to leave at 2:30 in order to be able to get to the elementary school in time to pick my boys up at the end of their day; then to make it to the high school before the team buses left for Edmond with the football team, as well as 4 amazing young women who work hard as their trainers.  I had a special present as a surprise for Lara, Molly, Lauren and Lauren for their first official out-of-town trip for the 2017 Football season. I figured they work hard, and spend countless hours surrounded by stinky boys, so it might be nice to have something a little “girlie” for the first bus trip.  So, I commissioned a local baker to make them special, personalized Pioneer Football cookies for the ride.  Each girl got one with their name on it, plus a few others.  I said they didn’t have to share the baker’s dozen of cookies, but they’re sweet girls so I figured they would!

I am so glad I was able to be there to deliver the cookies personally.  All four girls were so happy, and Lara was beyond excited.  She didn’t know she would get to see us, and OF COURSE the surprise was thrilling!  One of the other trainers said, “I’ve never seen her smile like that!”  So, for me, that was a huge win. Mission Accomplished.  (After they got home from the game, I heard the report that the cookies were amazing, and they did end up sharing them with the boys near them.)

At the end of the night, OSU won their home opener by beating Tulsa with a score of 59-24.  The three Pioneer Activity busses finally pulled in to the high school at 11:45pm after a fun win over Edmond Memorial with the final there being 23-7.  Stillwater was impressive.  Little Gundy at QB throwing bombs and the defense was in beast mode – held Memorial to 3 yards rushing in the first half and 67 total for the game.  Britt and I enjoyed our time in the stands with Jake, Jake’s friend, and Finn while Lara did her thing on the sidelines.  A good time was had by all.

While all of this was fun, thrilling, and cause for much celebration – there was still icing on the cake for that day.  You see above I said my plan was to leave work at 2:30.  At 2:25pm, I took a call, summoning me down to my boss’s office for a meeting.  Initially, I was worried it was going to mess up my plans for the next hour of the day (my very well thought-out and choreographed PLANS!), but sometimes an interruption is all you need.

During that 15-minute meeting, my life and my trajectory were changed.  Prayers became promises.  Stresses were relieved and the weight of the world became immeasurably lighter.  

I had applied for a “promotion” of sorts on the night of Wednesday, July 19th.  There was an Assistant Registrar position that became vacant at the beginning of July in my office and I felt led to apply.  I believed it was a HUGE long shot to entertain the notion of being awarded such a prestigious post, but like my Dad always said – “The answer is always NO if you don’t ask.”  While I met all the qualifications, plus had experience here in the office, I was just dreaming and hoping for a better position to be able to contribute more professionally, and to be able to support my family better.  A couple of weeks later, I got the call for a first interview scheduled for Monday August 8th.  While I thought it went really well, you just never can tell.  Then, a few days later, I received a call for a second interview, planned for Monday, August 14.  That interview was INTENSE.  Lengthy, and with many key players from the office.  I left there spent, sweaty, and still feeling like it was a long shot.  But, hopeful that I would not be enduring that mood for long, as I was told they would have a decision by the end of the week.  However, on Friday the 18th, I got an email saying the decision committee was delayed in meeting due to schedule conflicts and it would be NEXT week.  The next Friday, August 25th, I got another email saying they had hoped to offer the position this week but there was an HR issue that had to be resolved first.  At this point, I had all but given up.  Some moments I was SURE I was going to receive an offer for the position, but most days I knew it was not meant to be.

That is until my boss called me down to his office on Thursday.  As I took the LONG walk from my work station back to his office, I didn’t think anything out of the ordinary was happening.  He knew I was leaving early, and I figured he wanted to make sure I had everything covered in my absence.  Then, he shut the door.  That is always a sign something big is about to happen!  And boy did it!  He offered this amazing opportunity – TO ME! A new job with different responsibilities, interesting assignments, and a chance to serve on the Leadership Team in the office!  Giddy, excited, delighted, amazed, and a little overwhelmed.  I have a lot to learn, and I can’t wait to get started!  So thankful for the chance, and honored that the committee chose me.  It has been a long and winding road to get to this point!  But, God!  He is faithful!  

I can’t help but think of the words Jesus spoke in Luke, chapter 16.  After telling the parable of the shrewd manager, Jesus said to his disciples in Luke 16:10, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.”  My current position was important and crucial to the office, but I always knew I could do more!  When I started this job back in March, I set forth to do the job with excitement and precision and to the VERY best of my ability.  And, my managers and bosses saw that.  A short 5 months later and through a series of extraordinary events, I merited the REWARD.   But, God! He is so good.

I feel like a Phoenix rising from the ashes today.  I can’t stop smiling.  I can’t stop dreaming of a future that looks much brighter than it did a few days ago.  I can’t stop praising the Lord of ALL CREATION who was faithful to complete this good work in me.  This song is on perpetual repeat in my head…

By Your Spirit I will RISE, from the ASHES of defeat!  The Resurrected KING is resurrecting ME! (Elevation Worship – Resurrecting)

My official start date will be September 18th. Some transition will occur before this date, and I will be doing both jobs for awhile as I work to hire my own replacement. Always a few growing pains with things like this. Thank you every single one of you who has prayed, provided, or played any kind of role in keeping the Weavers on a positive track these last 12 months.  We still need a job for Britt, but some of the pressure is relieved and we can breathe a little better.  Please continue to send job opportunities his way, and pray for our family during this transition.

“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5 NIV

Bucket List

Urban Dictionary says a bucket list is “A list of things to do before you die.  Comes from the term ‘kicked the bucket.’ I need to remember to add skydiving to my bucket list.”

I’ve never really made a “Bucket List.”  Not sure why.  Just didn’t feel the need?  Probably. Don’t have anything to put on it? Not Likely. Living every day to the fullest so its redundant? Hmmm… Maybe?  I don’t really know.  But I do know people who are very serious about their lists.  Accomplishing one per year, or posting it in their home or office and physically marking one off as it is met.  I love that spirit; that determination!  I like goals.  I write those down.  So, in a way, that’s like a “mini bucket list” I guess…

I am thinking about this today since I have seen the term (over)used this weekend on my social highlight reels media feeds.  A local little league team won a state tournament.  A 90’s Country Super Star and Oklahoma native played 4 concerts in 2 days (or something like that) in OKC. Summer beach vacations to exotic and “once in a lifetime” locations.  Bucket list: CHECK, CHECK, CHECK! I am so happy for everyone who got to check something off their list this summer!  It’s truly a priceless memory for you, and I enjoy sharing in the experience through your pictures.  THANK YOU for letting me in, just a little.

So, what about my bucket list?  What should I put on it?  What do I want to “do before I die?”  As a start, I’d say: Love Jesus.  Be more like Him every day.  Shine His light to others. Grow tiny humans into AMAZING adults - who love Jesus, want to be more like Him every day, and shine His light to others. [Work in progress, so ½ CHECK]

What else?  What experiences?  LOVE, truly love, others.  BE loved.  Be cherished, treasured, valued. To make a difference in someone’s life. Show grace every chance I can.  We all make mistakes, we ALL need grace. (Spotify totally “gets” me!  Grace Upon Grace by Brooke + Boggs just came on!) If you’ve met my husband and kids, and know them, you KNOW these things happen daily in our house. [Repeat these goals daily: CHECK] (*sidebar – don’t get me wrong!  We are NOT perfect, and I am pretty sure I am the least perfect among us – but, GRACE!)

Beyond that, my mind goes completely blank.  There’s nowhere I “need” to go before I die.  I am happiest in my home in the presence of the family and friends that love me best.  There’s nothing material I “need” to buy to fill a gap (although I have a short list of things I would like to have…).  And there is no one I “need” to meet before I die.  Because, the only guy I really want to encounter, I don’t get to see until I get to Heaven and fall in to his loving arms.  Where there is no pain.  No weeping.  No “need.”  [Until that day: CHECK]

God showed me what Grace truly looks like when he brought Britt into our (Mine, Emma’s and Lara’s) lives.  You see, the 3 years before that were filled with very little grace, and had been something no one would put on a bucket list.  But, God!  When I wasn’t looking, when I felt least loved, when mistakes made me feel worthless, God showered out grace by introducing me to my future husband.  And, because I don’t receive gifts well sometimes, I almost missed out on it.  Good thing my God moves mountains and has perfect timing!

Let me tell you about him.  Britt.  Giver.  Thinker.  Entertainer.  Loves Fiercely.  Laughs incessantly. Lives abundantly. He loves Jesus, and he loves us.  As the spiritual leader of our home, he makes sure we pray.  He encourages us to be in the Word daily. He drives us to church every weekend – even when we are sweaty and sunburned from long days of baseball.  He is insanely smart.  I may have scored highly on an IQ test as a teenager, made good grades in high school and graduated college with a double major, but my husband is infinitely smarter than I am!  This, in itself, makes the grace God granted an irreplaceable gift!  He is always the first to offer whatever he can others.  Generous beyond measure.  His time, his talents, his treasure – he knows they are not his and they are gifts to be shared. A lesson he is still teaching me and one I will never be as good at, but I marvel at his ability to be this way without a second thought and I strive to emulate him. He is the light in any darkness.  My husband loves to laugh, and God gave him the best sense of humor and the ability to share it so easily with others.  Everyone that spends time with him knows he is FUNNY, and truly appreciates it.  No one in our house goes a full day without a good, hearty laugh. And never at your own expense.  He knows how to laugh WITH you, not AT you.  He is loyal, committed, and honorable.  If he says he is going to do something, he does it.  And he does it well.  His word MEANS something.  And oh!  His LOVE!  It’s BIG!  It covers more ground than any of us deserve (Sounds a bit like Jesus, no?) Every single one of us is unlovable at times.  But it doesn’t matter to him.  When my demons are loud and my tears are real and my words harsh, Britt is right by my side.  When the kids’ dreams are fading in front of their eyes and their hearts are broken for any reason, he is the first to offer a shoulder and a wise word of encouragement.  When we’ve all had too much screen time and our phones/devices are growing out of our palms, he reminds us to put them down!  He puts every single need I or one of the kids perceives we have in front of his own.  His love language is giving gifts.  He loves to surprise us with anything that will bring a smile to our face.  Tiny and meaningful only to the receiver, or big and boisterous for all to see – same love in them all.

With a love like this in my life, the grace I have received, and all the other amazing blessings that surround me, it seems somehow selfish to pen a “bucket list.”  But, friends, there is ONE THING I “need” in this season of my life.  If you’ve followed our story, you already know what it is.  But I will ask again.  My amazing, wonderful, incomparable husband NEEDS A JOB.  Did you know it has been 11 LONG months (today) since he became unemployed?  It’s been a tremendous storm.  Unimaginable, relentless, devastating in so many ways.  But we have gained so much from it, too!  Incredible patience.  The generosity of friends and strangers alike.  Faith in our God and his perfect timing.  I believe in the power of prayer and I know a God that performs miracles daily.  The time has not been right yet, but I know it’s coming. 

Please pray with me.  For provision during this storm, and for my husband’s employment.  So many opportunities that fell through in the 11^th hour.  So many discouraging phone calls and emails.  So many unpaid bills.  He has never had more than a moment of doubt, a minute of fear, or a second of sadness.  Unfathomable.  For me – Queen of Anxiety and Depression.  But I look at him and it makes me stronger.  He reminds me that this is not about me, or the kids, or even him!  It’s about JESUS and trust.  I trust you, Lord.  I trust you. 

Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I try to win this war
I confess, my hands are weary, I need Your rest
Mighty warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face You're by my side

When You don't move the mountains
I'm needing You to move
When You don't part the waters
I wish I could walk through
When You don't give the answers
As I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You

          ~Lauren Daigle, “Trust In You”

My amazing husband (that’s what I call him; that’s how is name is saved in my phone contacts)

came to check on me and see what I was doing.  He asked if I was writing him a love letter when he saw me typing.  My knee-jerk reaction was to say no.  But, yes.  YES!  YES – I WROTE YOU A LOVE LETTER!  I love you and I love Jesus in you.  I love who you are and what you do.  I love you as a man, a husband, a step-father, and a father.  And my love for you grows everyday.  I am so thankful for a God that provides, and shows us GRACE.

Four More Years

A few days ago, someone used the word "helpless" when describing their feelings about a family circumstance - that didn't seem that dire to Britt or I.  My husband asked me about that word.  Asked me if I had ever felt that way.  I came up with 2 times in my life that I truly felt that way.  During my divorce when I felt like such a complete failure.  And then the day my son was born 14 weeks too soon - and the weeks and months that followed.  But now, I can add another one.  In the aftermath of this election, I feel helpless.  There is nothing I can physically do to change the circumstances that surround this time and the next 4 years.  Except fall on my face and CRY OUT to Jesus.

My initial reaction was pure shock. Then sadness, despair, even depression. To quote my husband: "It's just hard to wrap my mind around the fact that these seemingly intelligent people really think that he has done a good job for this country and willingly chose to let him continue to destroy this once great nation."  Another friend said she was going to quit her job because with a bachelor's and a master's she still only makes minimum wage, and it seems like living off handouts is the way to go.  My emotional self wants to completely agree with these kinds of responses, I know this is not what I should be doing.

I wake up today full of hope, not fear.  "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline."  2 Timothy 1:7 I look forward to the future knowing Jesus is still King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  God is still on His throne.  The tomb is still empty and the Bible still holds all the answers.  I will pray.  I will pray for our President, Vice President, Congress, Judges and leaders.  I will pray for the citizens of this nation.  I will pray for the future.  I will pray that this event will turn a nation to their knees seeking the ONE -- the ONLY one -- who can save us.

"I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior." –1 Timothy 2:1-3

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."  Jeremiah 29:11

Amen.