The LAST "firsts"

I am a mom of 4.  2 girls (Twins - almost 16; redheads). 2 boys (ages 11 and 6; noise, with dirt on it). I never planned on 4.  In fact, in high school, I never planned on ONE.  Soon after I was married (the first time) it became evident that even having ONE was going to take a miracle, and a LOT of money.  But then, TWINS! A divorce and second marriage led to my third - and what I was pretty sure was my FINAL - baby.  A few years later, and SURPRISE!  Shocker!  Bonus Baby was here.  I knew then that my family was COMPLETE.  Completely, totally, fully, COMPLETE.  It felt final.  My heart was full.  And so were my arms.

Fast Forward 17 years from that first positive pregnancy test.  I am a mom of 4.  Dealing with first boy/girl relationships, learning to drive, insane sports schedules, tween drama and crushes, and teaching the kindergartner to tie his shoes.  SAT's, entrance interviews for technical school, spelling tests we forgot to study for, and losing that first tooth.  With 9.5 years between my oldest and my youngest, there is a LOT of parenting going on at any one time.  By the time the Baby (I get to call him that, and I will for as long as he lets me) graduates from our beloved High School, I will have had a child in the local school system for TWENTY-FOUR (24) consecutive years (even though one will have completed 4 years with a neighboring district).  That's a lot of FIRSTS.  Class parties, graduations, assemblies, awards, concerts, plays, sporting events, fundraisers, and on and on and on.  But, what about the LASTS?

Somewhere in the last couple of years, I stumbled upon a blog entry on Scary Mommy  that talked about the LASTS.  You know, the last time you gave your baby a real bath.  The last time you carried them to bed.  The last time they weren't embarrassed to hug you in public. We celebrate the 'Firsts,' but what about the 'lasts'?  I am finding myself in a BIG series of lasts over the next few weeks.  For the girls, they will be 16 in the next 10 weeks.  When will be the last time I drive them to school or pick them up from a practice?  For my older son, we are planning his 5th grade graduation ceremony and party for the end of May.  That will be his last day in the elementary school we have loved so well and that has watched him grow up.  And the tiny one. I know the lasts are piling up quick for him!  Last time he crawls into our bed at night just because he wants to snuggle.  Last time I tie his shoes for him because he is now an expert.  And the one that inspired this writing.  He lost his FIRST tooth yesterday.  That's my LAST first tooth!

Hit me like a ton a bricks.  I wasn't prepared!  He had no tooth fairy pillow!  I ordered one the minute we discovered the loose tooth, but I wasn't fast enough (BIG THANKS and shout out to Big Brother for the loaner pillow).  I didn't have a crisp $5 bill on hand - my usual tooth fairy surprise for a first tooth.  (Who am I kidding here?  There have been MANY scrambles for cash over the 10+ years in our loosing teeth shenanigans!) But dad to the rescue with 5 loose one dollar bills to stuff the pillow.  So for Little Guy, it was a successful event.  One he won't really remember much about based on my experiences - even if it was super dramatic and involved a lot of tears and commotion at the time.  He was so proud to tell all his grandparents, his teacher, and his friends.  He had us send pictures to everyone we knew and posted it on our social media accounts.  He slept hard, the tooth fairy delivered, and he woke up so excited to have MONEY and no tooth.  This is what 6 year old dreams are made of.

But for me?  This time?  I will remember this LAST.  This is the LAST time I will pull that first tooth.  Terrified little child, the sound of that final "pop" as it comes out, the tears, and the BLOOD.  The fear truing to disbelief.  The disbelieving to wonder and joy.  Then, EXCITEMENT!  He was brave, and HE DID IT!  It was not as painful or scary as he imagined.  Big Brother talked him through it, held his hand, rubbed his back.  Mom had the cool, wet washcloth at the ready and was as gentle as she could be.  And even though the sight of his own blood terrified him, he finally got past it and looked in the mirror for the first time with that big gap in the middle of his lower jaw.  All smiles - a new smile!  The tiny tooth cleaned off and secured in Big Brother's OSU themed tooth fairy pillow (because the shark themed one we ordered for #4 was still in transit).  Going to bed excited for the morning.  And all my Momma heart wanted to do was capture every second.  Soak it in.  (Until I had to leave the house to go pick up a teenager from the bus returning from a baseball game she was the trainer for - it never ends).

I got a few pictures.  And a few more form Dad after I left.

This is my first is a series of LASTS.  This is the season of parenthood I am in.  No more babies.  Or toddlers.  Or even little kids.  They're all big kids and young adults now.  And they each need me less and less on a psychical level every day.  I am "Raising Older Kids."  Many hours of many days, this is harder than the days of the "newborn fog" and the relentless terrible two's - or THREENAGERS.  Maybe not physically, but mentally. Emotionally.  I never dreamed I would be a mother of 4.  But here I am.  And this moment is fleeting.  2 years, and 2 of them are off to college (or whatever adventure adult life brings their way).  Next year is Middle School for the middle child. And my baby?  He's just going to keep loosing teeth.  And tying his shoes. And preferring showers to baths.  And sleeping in his own bed.  How will I know when it is the LAST TIME?

And since I won't always know when the last time is THE LAST TIME, I will cherish every moment and every memory I can.  First and last proms.  First and last awards ceremonies.  First and last bike rides.  The #momlife sure has a lot of ups and downs.  Bittersweet moments.  Instants to cherish.  No one prepared me for these complexities, but most days I am glad they didn't. I am on a grand adventure with my tribe. All the twists and turns; all the celebrations and memorials along the way.  All the lessons we have each learned. I am a mom of 4.

First Day of School 2017

August 17, 2017.  The First Day of School is always an emotional roller coaster.  For everyone involved!  Who is my teacher?  What should I wear?  I don’t want to be late!  When’s lunch?  Do I need my backpack?  Do you have a pencil and something to write on?  I can’t believe you are in (insert grade here) already!?!  Do you know how you are getting home?  The list goes on and on and on. And this year, honestly, was no different.  I know I experienced about 25 emotions – all at once and then over and over throughout the day.  Here is a glimpse into how the day went.

I’ll start with the boys.  They get up early and go to school early and start early.  For #3 child, this is fine.  He sleeps hard and is ready to get up and go when the time comes.  For #4 child, this is not OK.  Lots of repeated trips to the room with back rubs, and bright lights, and bribes.  And that’s just to get him out of bed.  This ritual repeats for getting dressed, ingesting SOMETHING for breakfast, brushing the teeth (this is actually the easiest part) and combing/styling the hair.  And, I wanted them ready a few minutes early for pictures!  But we made it!  Then, Britt and I walked the boys the 4 blocks to Westwood for their first day of 5^th grade and Kindergarten.

Once we were there, Finn said we should go to Jake’s class first.  Easy enough!  He is excited to have Mrs. Stuever for 5^th Grade, and he has several friends in there.  After a selfie with mom, we were on to the Kindergarten hall way.  Finn had been in a good mood since he finally woke up “fully.”  He did great with pictures, loved walking to school, was a perfect little brother as we got Jake settled… And then as we neared his classroom he dug his heels in, and I basically had to drag him to class.  The next 7-8 minutes of my life left me sad, frustrated, and extremely sweaty.  With Dad’s help, and the Mrs. Edward’s (not the same Mrs. Edwards from last year – a different one.  That’s not confusing at all!) help, we were able to leave him in the classroom for circle time and go on about our day.  It was TOUGH.  There were tears all around.  I even texted my friend in the office 30 minutes later to check in.  She sent the Vice Principal on a re-con mission for us, to find that (of course) he was fine and happy and doing great.  WHEW!

After we got back home, it was time to take the #2 child to her first day of OFFICIAL High School!  I had told her if she would get up early for a quick pic with her brothers (at the top - no make-up), I would take her to get breakfast on the way to school.  She chose McDonalds.  After a quick stop there, we were off to Stillwater High School for her first day of Sophomore Year!  Drop off was a bit chaotic, and this is the pic we snapped as she stepped out of the car.

Later when the boys were dismissed for the day from Westwood, they came up to the 3^rd floor of the Student Union to see me for a moment and tell me about their days.  It was SO MUCH FUN to hear them talk about the first day.  I would say both days were a success.  Jake said he was ready to go back for Day 2.  Finn, well, he’s Finn.  Not only are Jake and Finn complete opposites, so are their first day of school end of day emails from their teachers!  See below…

Emma and I texted a little bit early in the morning as she prepared for her school day.  She promised me a picture or 2, which I *FINALLY* got around 2:00 in the afternoon! LOL!  She did her ½ of the traditional Emma and Lara back to school pic.  I, however, had forgotten to do Lara’s!  So, we did Lara’s side after dinner (in her trainer clothes instead of her cute FDoS outfit, and I got to merge them together in the name of tradition!

Lara’s school day didn’t end until 5:30pm when Football Practice was over. #TrainerLife Finn had wanted to have dinner with Nana and Grandpa.  It was their 49^th wedding Anniversary, so we all decided to eat at Joe’s!  Eskimo Joe’s, that is.  The big kids got their traditional First Day of School Milk Shakes for dessert, and it was the best way to end our First Day of School in 2017!

Happy 49th Wedding Anniversary Mom and Dad

Here’s to a great year, Little Dream Weavers!

The One About Summer Nights

July 7 - 10, 2017
Summer Days are drifting away!  Bu, OH!  Those summer nights... Can a "weekend" start on a Thursday night?  'Cuz this one kind of did.  And it was worth it.

Lara:

Around lunch time on Thursday, it was decided that we would go to Twilight Swim (6:30-8:30pm) at the "Water Park" in Cushing, OK.  We left Stillwater after I got home from work, and got there a few minutes before the gates opened.  Spent the whole 2 hours splashing around!  After a (much too long) trip to Walmart for 2 of the boys in attendance, we attempted dinner in Cushing.  At 9:30pm.  On a Thursday night. In the middle of summer.  We finally got to a pizza place.  We finally got food.  Well, the pizza Lara and I were sharing ended up 2/3 on the floor, and we had to wait for ANOTHER one, but we did get to eat.  We got back home at 10:15pm.  But then we all stayed up to watch the DVR'd episode of Boy Band that showed earlier in the evening...

Friday night was much more calm.  We all were still recovering from Thursday night!  So, some TV time, and a much more respectable bedtime.  Saturday morning we got up early for "Little" Brother Jake's basketball team to play in a tournament in Oklahoma City.  Lara always has a choice as to whether to go or not, and she usually chooses to go.  She's our "Sporty Spice" and her involvement with the Athletic Training program with the school is a big part of her life.  So, being Jake's "Super Fan" is right up her alley.  Long day with 4 games, but we got to try a hamburger joint we had been told about that we had never been to before, so that was a fun time, too.

Got home late afternoon, and found the movie "Grease" on the Freeform channel!  What a great way to spend a couple of hours!  (And, it may or may not have influenced this post...).  Since the fireworks here in Stillwater got cancelled for the 4th... AND for the 5th, the 8th was the reschedule date.  Kinda of fun for a Saturday night, I suppose! None of us are big on crowds, and Finn FREAKS at loud noises, we drove to a parking garage on the Oklahoma State University campus where the top level overlooked Boomer Lake and Park nicely, tuned our radio to 93.7 to hear the music that went along with the show, and enjoyed the fireworks!  It was WONDERFUL!  accompanied by a great looking moon, an almost cool evening (I was in a light weight sweater), and great company.

Sunday we got to sleep in a little bit... Jake was back to basketball in OKC by late morning, accompanied by his family again!  Lara got to watch Jake and his Bandit team battle through losing yesterday to make it to the Championship game, AND THEN WIN IT!  These boys haven't played much or practiced ANY since we all just wrapped up baseball, so it was a thrilling day.

A quick dinner on the road so we would make it back to Stillwater to take in Week 1 of AT THE MOVIES at the Life.Church Stillwater campus.  Our lobby is all decked out in a STAR WARS-esque theme, and the message Pastor Craig Groeschel pulled out of the 2016 movie Hacksaw Ridge was INCREDIBLE.  What a great way to end the weekend!

Emma:
I didn't see Emma this weekend.  Sometimes, plans change.

The One That Started with a BANG!

June 30 - July 3 (4), 2017
So, this past weekend was the first in my countdown.  This was weekend #151. (Thanks for all the awesome response, BTW!  I am so glad to get to bring you along on this journey of weekends as we countdown.)  And, it was a L O N G weekend!  From Friday night until the last fireworks launched and exploded in the night sky late Tuesday evening, it was a weekend jam packed with family, friends, and memories.  I am still not sure what the best format for these little notes will be, so it might change as we learn together how best to document these times.  As for today, I am going to do it chronologically, by twin.  We will see how that looks and make changes as we grow.

Lara (age 15 years, 1 month; Stillwater, OK)

Friday night, Lara was still with her friends at Falls Creek (Church Camp) in the Arbuckle Mountains of south central Oklahoma.  It was their last night there, and I am sure she was making the most of it!  She was good to call me every day and tell me fun snippets and stories from her day.  I still remember MY days at Falls Creek as a youth, so I know she will cherish these days.

She arrived back in Stillwater mid-day on Saturday; she was excited about the trip she had been on and thoroughly exhausted by it as well.  She wanted food, her bed, and some peace and quiet.  I obliged her all of those, but only after telling her that I had arranged a babysitting job for her at 6:00 that evening.  My pittance for the short turn around was that I did all of her camp laundry – as well as the 2 weeks of laundry that had piled up before she left.  This is a big deal.  I haven’t done her laundry since 5^th grade!  While her nap was not quite long enough, she made it to her baby-sitting job, and her clients were very pleased with her work!

Sunday, was truly a day of rest for her.  No one asked anything of her, and she kept a lazy schedule.  Monday was more of the same.  With the Holiday coming up on Tuesday, everyone was keeping it low key and just preparing for the upcoming festivities! 

Tuesday – Fourth of July!  We were going over to some friends’ house that evening for food and fireworks.  We had a few items we were bringing with us, so we dedicated the morning to food prep.  Lara had decided earlier that she wanted to make celebratory cupcakes, so she set about that task.  She even let her 2 little brothers help along the way – with minimal bickering.  Later in the afternoon, we stopped by Uncle Brian’s gravesite, set off our traditional smoke bombs commemorate his favorite holiday, and reminding ourselves of how much we miss him.  Then, it was off to our get-together!

Celebrating our Freedom with a family that means so much to us was an excellent way to spend a beautiful evening.  It was HOT and STICKY when we got there in the late afternoon, but by the time the sun started setting and we went about blowing up a vast pile of pyrotechnics, it really was a nice night.  Lara spent time with wonderful friends and family, and we all had a fabulous time!  I will let these pictures speak for themselves, just a little….

Emma (age 15 years, 1 month; Orlando, OK)

Emma was not with me this weekend, so my knowledge of her weekend is a bit more ambiguous.  Nevertheless, I know she had a great Fourth of July!  Thanks to her Social Media, I got a glimpse into what she was doing from her Instagram posts and her Insta-story.  I am sure her Snap Chat was much more exciting, but I don’t Snap.  I asked her what her favorite thing was from this weekend and she told me it was watching fireworks from her house.  While probably not “fun,” I also know she had some sort of mishap in her barn and may have broken some toes.  We will have to see how that pans out.  I hope that this accident will not turn out to be the most memorable part of her summer! Looks like from the photos she had a good time with her friends and stored up some memories!

Next weekend both girls should be in the same place.  I can’t wait to see what memories we will build moving forward!

151 Weekends (2020 Project)

Well, HELLO, Blog!  Long time, no see…  I know, I know… That’s my fault.  You see, the last 11 months have been, well, tough.  A year ago today, everything was “normal.”  We were living life at our usual speed.  Doing the normal things.  Had NO IDEA that the rug was about to be pulled out from under us MANY separate times over the next few months.  Number one child moved out, job loss, job changes with financial ramifications, health issues, money issues.  I could go on and on.  But never faith issues!  This season is a test.  SOON it will be our testimony. God is good, ALL the time!

During those 11 months, life continued to happen.  It felt like we were limping at times, using crutches at others, and flat out being pushed on a gurney some days.  But, despite all the turmoil and trials, last fall Finn started Pre-K, and turned 5 years old.  In the winter, we celebrated the Birth of our Savior and Jake turned 10. Spring rolled around and our Twins turned 15; Emma was in Texas that day and Lara in Kansas. Then all the kids finished another year of school. Summer arrived and the pace slowed a little, yet time still marches on.

One more trip around the sun.  Got me to thinking.  You know, those fiery red-headed girls of ours only have a few more of those trips around the sun as kids. A scarce number of little brother birthdays and Christmas mornings around our house as care-free teenagers.  A finite quantity of weekends before they graduate high school, spread their wings, and FLY!

So, I had this little idea.  I'm calling it "The 2020 Project." As in, Class of 2020.  As in, I can see clearly.  As in, see the vision that is your future. And today is the day I begin to work it into existence.  As I think about it and write my modest introduction, I feel like I have bitten off more than I can chew!  DEFINITELY! But, ah!  The memories!  If you know me, you know I take pictures of EVERYTHING. And I do it ALL THE TIME!  Before Smart Phones and cameras at the ready, I always had some sort of camera with me to steal those instants and memories.  Now, it’s that much easier to capture the moment with my iPhone.  Jake loves to tell people I have over 8,000 pictures on my phone – that’s the evidence of my vice.  (Don’t tell him I’m up over 12K now!). While I will still make them turn and smile for a pic or just capture the special seconds from a discreet distance to catch the candid images, this project is, hopefully, to be a little more long lasting.  They say a picture can say 1,000 words, but you have to know the story behind it.  Memories wane.  The atmosphere and nuances are often lost or misconstrued in a photo after the flash fades.  But WORDS!  Oh, words.  They paint the picture.  Add texture, and light, and COLOR! 

I printed a calendar today.  July 2017 through July 2020.  Three years.  Today is June 29, 2017. Starting with this coming weekend.  Ending just a few short weeks after “Jenna & Barbara” graduate from high school – May 22, 2020. (If you know my fascination with numbers, you could probably imagine my eyes lighting up as I typed that.)  Starting with this weekend, there are only 151 weekends left until they graduate high school. 151 Friday nights of fun and adventure. 151 Saturdays of shenanigans spending time doing what they love with family and friends.  151 Sundays of “rest” and worship. 151 Monday mornings to re-charge and face a new week.  Sounds like a lot as I write this.  Looks like a lot as I numbered my little calendar.  But I know how fast it goes!  I want to remember it; CHERISH it.  And I want my girls to as well!  The goal is to write 151 blog entries of memories from each weekend.  It could be just a funny thing someone said or a recap of the weather.  Or it could be a long narration with pictures of a much-deserved celebration; or a tearful memoir of a special milestone in life as they pass through it.  All the stories that I wish I could remember better 30 years later…

Are you ready for the ride?  It’s going to be bumpy for sure!  Those climbs to the top, and dips and valleys as we wind our way through.  Victories, defeats, joyous occasions, moments of heartache. Weekends are precious; memories are delightful. Here’s to the next 151 weekends…

(These dates are assuming Stillwater High School keeps on the same schedule they have been on the last several years, and if Emma stays at Mulhall-Orlando she has the potential to graduate before her sister. So, in my mind the LAST one to graduate completes the project, so for my purposes, I’m using these dates)

 

Down Time

4 busy kids.  2 working parents.  A couple of side jobs to keep it interesting.  Many volunteer hours.  People often ask me how I do it.  Or remark about how “busy” I (we) seem to be but how we seem to get it all done “and with a smile on your face.”  Um, gee, thanks?  I am genuinely happy to be this busy.  It means my family is healthy.  It means we have jobs that provide for us, creative outlets to entertain us and meaningful hobbies to fulfill us.  It means we are able to provide opportunities for our kids and we work hard to make things fun and enjoyable and MEMORABLE for our family.  So, yes, I am busy.  And YES!  I am smiling about it.  I am truly blessed. Abundantly. Richly.

But, there are down times, too.  “Down Times” in all senses of the word – depressing, dark, hard times.  And relaxing, no pressure, vacation times.  And run down, beat down, down for the count times.  It seems I have just come out of a “season” of the run down type of Down Time...

I am rarely sick.  In the 9 years Britt and I have been together, I would say I average one “miss work” illness a year.  I may miss a day here and there for a migraine or a mental health day, but real, “in bed, don’t talk to me, I need a doctor” sickness usually stays away.  Apparently, June had other ideas!  I missed 3 out of the last 9 days of work for illness.  First, I had bronchitis.  Kicked me in the rear.  Missed 2 days of work.  Still have the lingering cough.  But, 6 days after that diagnosis, I was gifted with a stomach bug that landed me in bed for another work day!  WHAT is going on?  A look back at the first ½ of summer, and I see it.  I see how busy I was.  How crazy it has been to get everything done.  And maybe, this was my body’s way of saying, take a break.  Relax.  Rest.

I listened.  I went to the doctor – TWICE!  I took my meds, I slept, I rested.  I am glad to say I am finally feeling human again!  I still got lots of work done while “resting” though.  A working Momma never gets much time off.  LOL!  When I did finally make it back in to work last week, it was time to fill out my time sheet.  Would you believe I missed and ENTIRE WEEK of work for the month of June?  When I added up all my hours “off” it equaled an entire week’s worth of time.  About equal time sick leave and vacation leave.  Between doctor appointments for kids and myself, being sick and in bed, camp obligations for various kids, a tree falling on our house, and committee meetings for my various volunteer gigs, I was out A LOT last month!  WOAH.  Adding up those numbers was a bit eye-opening.  There it was again – another reminder that I can’t be superwoman all the time.  Rest.  Recharge.

This month looks a little better on the calendar.  The outside temperature has started to warm up finally here in Oklahoma as well – pushing triple digits today!  Sounds like a good time to stay inside a bit more anyway!  Finn has Pre-School “Camp” 3 mornings a week this week and next, but that’s all under Nana the Wonder Sitter’s watch.  I have some sorority meetings this weekend, and the only other thing on the agenda is Jake’s Art and Music camp the third week of the month.  The schedule seems much easier to manage for July.  Even if I do hear the dreaded “I’m Bored” a little more from the kids.  Sounds like down time -- of the relaxing kind -- is in order.  Maybe a good time for a trip to the library…  Recharge.  Revive.

Family Meeting

sample Cozi calendar

As part of Dream Weaver family tradition, we have a "Family Meeting" every Sunday evening.  Typically, after dinner and before all the kids get ready for bed.  The purpose of the meeting is to maker sure we, as a family, are all on the same page.  Spiritually, academically, socially, financially, and logistically.  My GOLD (True Colors) personality relishes in this meeting.  Looks forward to it.  Plans for it.  LONGS for it.  And is Oh-So, Ever-So grateful for the Cozi calendar app and the special role it plays in each meeting!  The rest of the family likes it, too. Me?  I am empowered by it!  But, alas, it is summer.  And I miss it!  Desperately...

The format of the meeting goes something like this.  Some one hollers at someone else to get the other some ones into the same room.  "NOW!". "Let's go!". "Let's get this started!" "Let's get this over!" (I'll let you pick and choose who says what...) Once the shenanigans of who is touching whom die down and we have Finn occupied with a Kindle, iPhone, or iPod and endless Easter Egg opening You Tube videos, we can get started.  Typically we open with a short praying thanking God for the blessings of the past week.  Then, we ask for each person to tell their favorite part of the past week.  Some weeks, it is remarkably difficult for the kids to come up with ONE thing to share.  Other weeks, we have to cut them off to ensure everyone gets to bed on time!  From there, Dad pulls up Parent Portal to check grades for the oldest 2.  This is an online grading system our schools use.  We can see the current grade for each class, plus what has been graded or what is missing, future assignments, absences, etc.  It is a GREAT tool, and it has helped us help Emma and Lara stay on track.  Jake is jealous and wants to be old enough that his grades are on there.  We still have some years...

After grades, we move to the calendar.  It takes orchestration - and outside help at times - to keep this crew moving forward!  2 working parents, 4 kids. (And get the grandparents in there too since they help out so much!  I feel lost if they leave town and I don 't have on-demand helpers!)  School commitments, work meetings and events, volleyball, track, dance, clubs, baseball, basketball, football, mother's day out!  Not to mention, doctors, dentists, specialists, therapists!  WOAH!  So, it has to be discussed - sometimes just to talk it out and make sure we have all the bases covered!  Mom opens the Cozi calendar and we go day by day for the week talking out each person's commitments, who is taking and or picking up whom, and if the meal planning has been done, what we are having for dinner!  (Sometimes this happens later with just mom and dad!). This is a very helpful thing for our family.  The older ones are mature enough now to be aware of their own commitments, and they can help make sure things are getting done; that they are in the right place at the right time waiting for the right ride.  In just a few short years, they will be added to the pick up and drop off routines as well!  (YAY! And NO!  All at the same time...)

So, it's summer.  There are no grades to monitor.  Days are not as busy (although this month's camp schedule was a BEAST).  Most travel logistics during the day fall to Nana the Wonder Sitter.  Everyone is staying up later, sleeping in longer.  The Meeting has just kind of fallen to the way side for now.  Last Tuesday evening I said to the girls, "Don't forget you have dentist appointments in the morning.  I'll come by to pick you up about 10." Both of their heads spun around.  They had no idea.  *sigh* Dang you "No Family Meeting" time.  (And they even have the Cozi calendar app on their iPods so they could look for themselves...). Britt and I still talk over the week, but the thought of stopping the summer crazies to get them in one place to talk logistics... Well, it's summer.  They are just not interested...

It will come back.  In a few weeks.  For now, I'll just say, "See ya later, Family Meeting.  Until summer ends, when we meet again." In the meantime, I will continue to spoon feed the kids the tidbits of family logistics they need to know at dinner time.  And pray with them at bed time.  And long for more normal days and weeks where Family Meetings can be a part of our lives again.

Our busiest time of the year

For a lot of people, the time surrounding the winter holidays is the busiest time of their year.  But not for the Weavers!  It always seems to be around April and May – the last 6-8 weeks of the school year.  We always have 100 things going on each week, and it is just a crazy time!  So, here we are again!  In the middle of just plain CRAZY!  But, you know we love it.  And, this is a GREAT time for a shameless plug for the most AMAZING calendar app around, Cozi.  I just love it!  Color coded, can text each family member, even had to-do lists and meal planning options.  Seriously.  Try it.  You won 't be disappointed.  I promise.  LOVE. <3

Let’s get caught up on what’s keep us elbow deep in calendar appointments these days…  There’s always work for the hubs and I.  And of course, with our new ******** biz jumping off the ground, we are always telling people about that!  I’ve got Dream Weaver Prints keeping me going as well!  So, those are the fun ways we are keeping busy and helping people out. Not to mention March of Dimes!  We got to lobby for babies and mommies at the Capitol earlier this month, and it's time to start thinking Team Finn's Fans for this fall!  Doesn’t get much better than that!

The Twisters are hurling fast towards being 12 years old.  It just donned on me today that we are a mere THREE WEEKS from their twelfth birthday.  How in the world did that happen???  They are truly my joys.  So different, but both loads of fun, considerate, smart girls.  The have their own interests, friends and activities to keep them busy.  We are right in the middle of volleyball season for Emma.  She really loves it and has signed up for a camp this summer.  Lara has added a dance class for the rest of the year and is honing her skills.  We hope to find a fun dance something for her to do this summer as well.  They are both participating in a kids’ mud run this Saturday – that should be a mess of fun!

Emma and Lara - Easter 2014 (age 11)

Jake is LOVING his baseball season.  And frankly, so are we.  Our Pirates baseball team is just awesome.  GREAT group of parents and kids.  The kids all work really well together and are having so much fun.  We had team pics recently and we are just loving the way they turned out.  Thinking I need to commission the photographer for some kid pics later in the summer…  Anyway – baseball is LOVE.  Jake is completely smitten.  His 8U team is going to go out on the field with the Oklahoma State team for a game next month, and he may not sleep before then! LOL!  He is also doing the mud run this weekend; he is on a team of first grade boys and he can’t wait.  I am sure there will be LOTS of pictures from this event!



Jake #13 - schedule card

Pirate Baseball Family March 2014

And sweet Baby Finn…  When do I have to stop calling him that? LOL!  He is just amazing us!  3 word sentences!  Noun, verb, object.  WHAT????  I know, right?!?  So proud of him.  He is still super stubborn and remarkable finicky, but such a fighter.  And winning!  Since we started the appetite meds 7 weeks ago, things have REALLY changed for him!  So much has changed!  His pre-school teachers can’t get over how much more outgoing he is.  He eats.  AND EATS!  And eats some more.  At school and at home.  He talks so much more. He imteracts with others.  He SLEEPS!  He sleeps well and consistently.  We saw the Occupational Therapist 1 weeks after we started the meds.  He basically didn’t qualify for services.  If we had gone in a week earlier, he would have.  I promise.  THAT’S how much he has progressed!  We saw the ENT a coupole weeks ago.  His ears are still great (one tube in, one tube out), and he looked at his tonsils.  We were curious if they were enlarged – perhaps contributing to the eating issues.  He is also a mouth breather and snores a bit.  The ENT wants to watch him and see.  They were a bit large last month, but it was the peak of allergy season around here, too.  I am supposed to check for apnea while he’s sleeping, but I’m scared to go in there and watch him sleep – I don’t want to wake the beast! LOL!  And this week we saw the endocrinologist.  And stumped him.  Literally.  It was fun.  And priceless.  We told him all of Finn’s medical history, then went into the story of our last 2 months.  In 7 weeks, Finn has gained 2 pounds (that’s 10% when you’re that little!  I haven’t even LOST 10% yet!), and has grown 1.5 inches.  IN 7 WEEKS!  He is now on the chart for height – still below it for weight.  He talked to us about height genetics and probabilities, and said Finn should be around 6’4” as a fully grown adult – barring any complications.  (We told him we did a height predictor for Jake and got 6’8” – 6’11” and he was shocked again.)  We told him we weren’t worried about him being 6’4” we just wanted him to not have complications.  He agreed that we just want to make sure Finn is healthy.  We continued to talk about our options and concerns, and as we told the Doctor about the developmental improvements Finn had experienced, he was truly surprised.  Had never heard of the meds making those kinds of changes.  He was really stumped.  And he’s the EXPERT!  The Doctor was completely prepared to do blood tests and get Mr. Finn qualified for growth hormones.  But, after spending time with is, thoroughly examining our boy, and listening to our story, he decided to hold off.  He told us to come back in 6 months (around Finn’s 3^rd birthday – when we will see ALL of his specialists again) and we’ll see how he’s grown.  I am ready for Finn to blow his mind again in 6 months.  Will you pray for that with us?

Finn - March 2014 (under 22 lbs)

Finn April 2014 - 24 pounds!

That’s where we are today.  While typing this post, I have had text conversations with 5 people about various topics, shared ***** with 2 customers, made plans for the 7 year old who is out of school next Friday, talked to my husband on the phone, and corralled my 4 kids as well as some neighbors & friends that have been in and out of the house 100 times in an hour.  WHEW!  #momlife never ends!  And I wouldn’t change it for the world!

Party of Six

How in the world has an entire month gone by without an update from the Dream Weavers?  Oh… Yeah… Six people make for a VERY busy life under one roof!  Let’s see…  Professional development classes for me, dance for Lara, basketball season came to an apex and (an undefeated) close for Jake, various family members went to the dentist, Britt and Betsey started Stillwater March for Babies committee meetings (mark your calendar for Saturday, September 20), Britt started working a night job at the print shop for Eskimo Joe’s Promotional Products Group, we attended an NBA Thunder game as a family, survived snow storms and snow days (which will have to be made up), Emma and Lara went to a middle school dance, various birthday parties and sleepovers for the big kids, signing Emma up for spring volleyball, Alpha Delta Pi meetings and events for me, Finn is two (and all that entails), and yesterday it was 78 degrees outside and tonight baseball practice starts for Jake.  WHEW!  What’d I miss?  LOTS I am sure.  I am so thankful for my fun, busy, crazy family; but it is kind of overwhelming to look back over a month and see all that has happened!

I feel like we are falling into a routine with the new work schedules.  It is still crazy for me to get out the door and be ta work by 7:30, but I am making it every day.  I sure like getting off at 2:00!  Gives me a minute to breathe!  To run errands, be creative and work on Dream Weaver Prints business, and to be there for my kids when they get home from school.  Even if I’m not armed and ready with gourmet snacks and fresh squeezed lemonade, I am THERE!  We do chores, laundry, watch TV, whatever until it’s time to start dinner.  Which is early!  With Britt working nights, he gets home from his day job about 5:15, and needs to leave for his night job at 5:40.  That’s 30 minutes to eat, change, and love on him!  So, we start dinner about 4:00 these days!  Emma and Lara are ESSENTIAL in this process!  They are either helping me prep food, or helping keep Finn out of the kitchen!  We have tried lots of fun recipes and have generally enjoyed working as a family to make sure Daddy has a good dinner before he takes off to work hard for our family.  It may not be what we ever wanted, but we are making the most of it!

As for Finn and what’s up in his unique little preemie world…  We decided a couple of weeks ago that he was not progressing as we wanted him too.  Yes, SoonerStart (early intervention) comes once a month or so to evaluate him, and they think he’s doing “fine,” but there are just so many things we WASN’T doing!  Like, I don’t know… EATING!  We had been told to encourage him, and to introduce new textures, and the list goes on.  Nothing was working.  And he was just too skinny in our opinions.  Add to that, he isolates himself at school and doesn’t participate, won’t talk to his teachers, and has some other peculiar social traits.  We decided it was time to get a professional opinion.  Off to the pediatrician we went!  We left there knowing he has not gained a single ounce in 4 months, but had grown taller, with a prescription for an appetite stimulant, a referral to an endocrinologist, and a referral to an occupational therapist.  And a smile on our faces 3 miles wide knowing we were getting help for our little man who we were tired of watching struggle.

We started the appetite stimulant last Tuesday morning.  He takes it twice a day with food.  So, we give it to him at 7:00am after his “breakfast” Pedia Sure and at 2:30-ish after his “afternoon snack” Pedia Sure.  The drug fact sheet stated that “you might notice an increased appetite after prolonged use.”  If by prolonged use, you mean one dose, then YES!  Yes, it does increase appetite!  He has been eating more food in the past week than he did in the past 6 months combined!  More volume, more variations, better foods (not just Goldfish crackers and pudding), more frequency!  His cute little belly just sticks out all the time now!  We are so happy it is working so well for him!  And the even bigger bonus, it has COMPLETELY changed his attitude and demeanor!  Finn has always been a sweet boy, but he was often grumpy and inconsolable, and hard to get him to participate in anything.  Now, he is happier, more involved and engaged, and sleeping better.  He’s also a bit more ornery, but we’ll take it!  In one short week, he has become a completely different child.  It makes us wonder if he was just hungry all along but didn’t know how to fix it.  Or his blood sugar levels were all over the place due to lack of nutrition…  Poor guy!  We’re just happy to see him doing SO MUCH better!

Today we start another adventure with him.  He has his first evaluation with an Occupational Therapist here in town.  We are hoping to help him learn the skills and confidence to do things more independently.  With Mommy, Daddy, 3 older siblings, and Nana the Wonder Sitter, it’s no wonder he doesn’t want to be self-sufficient!  We hope to just help him learn what he needs to be more in par with his peers.  And of course, a bit selfishly perhaps, we want him to be less clingy and needy.  We know part of that is being 2, but having raised 3 other 2 year olds, and knowing how incredible smart he is (sometime I’ll tell you about his puzzle skills), I know he is capable of so much more!  I just can’t wait to see him thrive! 

The break between updates will not be as long next time.  I hope the Occupational Therapy takes off like the appetite stimulant did, and we see fast results!  We’re still waiting on the referral for the endocrinologist, too.  My prayer is that in 6 months, we will look back on this and know we did the right thing and will be able to see marked improvement in our awesome preemie!  He has always been the kind that needed an extra push!  Always a fighter, our Finicky Finn!

Perfect ... ly Comfortable

"I am perfectly comfortable being an 'average' mom.  My kids ride the bus; they eat school food.  They are encouraged to explore extra-curricular activities - one at a time.  Time (& money) I would spend making lunches, driving around, making chaotic schedules work, buying more 'stuff,' we spend making memories.  House wide Nerf gun fights.  Dinners for 6 around the dinner table opened with prayer.  Movie nights with popcorn.  We may not eat organic and be on trend with the latest fad, but we are happy. And I won't feel guilty about it."

If this sounds a bit familiar, you may read my Facebook updates from time to time.  Or, at least last night about 8:00pm to be exact.  Where did this come from, you might ask?  At least my husband did.  He was in the other room watching the pro-bowl.  I had just put the 2 year old to bed and sent the three bigs to their rooms for winding down hour.  I wasn't ready to start Downton Abbey yet, so I checked Facebook - as I often do...

Sometimes, Facebook is so incredibly useful!  I have found great bargains, learned of impending nuptials and heard about future little ones to join the world.  I can keep in contact with my cousins and friends spread from Oregon to Kansas to Virginia and Boston to New York City.  I have life long friends, brand new friends, Twin Mommy friends, and mommas of babies born in May 2002.  Sorority Sisters, Life Group members, My brother's college buddies, and friends of my parents.  INCREDIBLE.  I can learn about things I never dreamed of - and watch videos that I wish I could un-see.  But a lot of times, I have to admit,  I feel bullied by other moms.  Now, I know some of this is self-induced.  I should be able to pull up my big (and I mean BIG!) girl panties and blow it off.  But a lot of what I see just makes me want to scream.  And log off.  For a long time.  But, I can't.  Not for long anyway.  I have to have my personal account to manage my small business account.  And oh yeah!  My regular paying job is in social media. Yup - can't neglect that! I have to get better at filtering out the stuff that makes me bang my head against the wall.

So, I was a bit fed up with feeling like a bad mom last night for probably having BPA laden plastic-wear in my fridge with last week's left over chili in it.  Chili made with beef.  Beef that I have no idea about where it was grown or what the cattle were fed.  And I probably cleaned my kitchen counter top that it was prepared on with something someone somewhere has labeled as a poison to children everywhere!  But you know what?  That chili was GREAT!  The kids loved it, hubby loved it, I LOVED IT.  Got told it was the "Best Chili Ever" by an 11 year old tween girl.  HIGH PRAISE!  If you have raised the breed, you know...

So, yes.  My girls ride to school (almost) every day on a big, stinky, bumpy yellow school bus.  Both ways.  My oldest son walks 5 blocks.  Both ways.  Unless it's cold.  Or he is slow moving, then he gets a ride from Dad.  I leave for work long before they all go to school, and the 1st grader is just lucky the school is on Dad's way to work.  And they all 3 eat school lunches.  At a reduced price, too.  YUP!  We're that family!  I don't know a Bento box from a window box.  And Idon'tevencare.  They get a good, nutritious lunch.  And a lesson in life.  All paid for by my tax dollars.  Works for us.  And, I'm OK with their public education.  I have several homeschooling friends.  To them I say, "Good on ya!"  I don't have the patience or desire for it.  And my baby?  In my opinion he goes to the best darned Mother's Day Out pre-school in town 2 days a week and has the BEST Nana on the planet for the other 3.  But, I didn't look at all the reports or do extensive interviewing to find out.  I just went with my gut.  And biology.  :)

I am also perfectly OK with my perfectly comfortable kids.  While my girls both made honor roll last semester, I wouldn't be surprised if that doesn't happen this time around.  School is harder for some kids than others.  Testing makes some anxious while others take it all in stride.  I read an article someone had posted on Facebook last week about how college isn't meant for everyone.  Some kids will go to trade school.  Or be an apprentice somewhere.  Who will be the next generation's plumbers and hair stylists?  Maybe one or more of my kids.  And I would be so proud.  Or maybe they all go to college.  I want to encourage them, but not push them beyond their abilities - just to compete with the "Joneses."  Same with the extra activities.  While I'm pretty sure I don't have the next piano prodigy or sports superstar, I want them to do what they like and want to offer them the opportunities I can, while keeping them balanced .  Each child can do 1 "extra" thing at a time.  I have a dancer, a volleyball player, and a sports enthusiast that plays each sport in season as long as they don't overlap.  The baby's pass-time is going to doctor appointments.  *sigh* But, at this stage in life, they just need to be kids.  Have time to find out what they like.  Play with the neighbors.  After all, Eli and Peyton didn't play football until 8th or 9th grade...

So, Facebook.  I turn the other cheek.  I am not going to let the mom bullying get to me anymore.  I am a good mom.  My 4 kids have enough.  They get to see my husband and I live, love, fight and make-up.  We are all under the same roof every night, and we eat dinner as a family at least 6 nights a week - at a table with mismatched chairs.  We pray together, laugh together, love together, and hurt together.  WE ALL have been extremely blessed.  We're all in this together.  The kids know they have to look out for each other and help us around the house - without complaining.  And without an allowance or any other payment for that matter.  They have 8 very busy hands.  Dad and I have 4 full time working hands, that do the very best they can at home to keep everyone clean, healthy, fed, educated and entertained.  Our calendar is busy, and we like it that way.  But, we also like knowing down time is coming.  And we can just breathe.  And be a family.  Without trying to out-do anyone, prove anything, or achieve unrealistic goals.  God is our provider, and our judge.  We live our lives in a way that (we pray) is pleasing to Him, and that's all that should matter. And we are HAPPY!

If you got this far, you deserve a cookie.  Or a brownie.  Or WINE!  Yes, Wine...  And here is my disclaimer... I am not bashing anyone who does any of the things I don't.  Good for you!  Just know every family has to make decisions that are best for them.  And we each have the things we are passionate about.  In this season of my family's journey, the only thing I am passionate about besides shining Jesus' light is SURVIVAL.  Maybe next season I will have a second and I can research a Bento box...