Thursday, October 20, 2011

Dear Finn Weaver

Dear Finn Weaver,

Well, son!  You are 2 weeks old!  I am so proud of all the accomplishments you've made.  They told me a couple of days ago that you are not the smallest baby on the unit anymore!  You weigh a whole kilogram (2 pounds 3 ounces) now!  Plus, you are off the photo therapy lights (again) so I can see your sweet face without that silly mask of goggles.  I know the oscillator is doing a lot of the breathing work for you, but it is your job to relax and let it do it's job.  Thank you for being such a fighter.  We know you were born too soon (14 weeks too soon to be exact), and without all the medical knowledge and equipment you have around you, and without your fighting spirit, and without the love of our all-powerful God, we know we would not have you in our lives.  What a blessing you are!

Finn, do you have any idea how many people are praying for you?  People you and I will never meet.  People you and I have no way of knowing.  Son, you are covered in the biggest blanket of prayer!  So many people reaching out to Jesus on your behalf for healing, growth, comfort, and love.  And they are petitioning for me and your Dad, too. For strength, patience, knowledge and healing.  I know we feel it, and I hope you do, too.  There are people all over the place thinking of you and pulling for you and reading about you on Facebook, Twitter, and our blog.  I am so thankful for the Internet and social media for letting me share you and our story with so many, so easily.  You are a tiny, helpless baby, but you already help your dad and I shine the light of Jesus to so many everyday!

I have spent the better part of everyday of the last two weeks by your bedside.  During the week, I have been staying with some friends here in Oklahoma City.  I get up early every morning to get a ride to the hospital, and I stay as late as I can every night before they take me back to their house.  On the weekends, your Daddy brings your sisters and brother up to visit you.  Nana and Grandpa have been here a few times, too.  Plus, you've had lots of other visitors as well!  Everyone thinks you are so cute.  They ask me who you look like, but I am not really sure yet!  The past few days your hair has looked a bit red - like your sisters', and you have your brother/dad/grandfather's Weaver ears.  We'll have to see as you get bigger which side of the family you resemble more.

You've given us a couple of pretty rough nights and a few scares, Mr. Finn.  And unfortunately, I hear that's not over yet!  When you scare us, we just pray harder!  Maybe that's the lesson you are trying to teach us.  Last Saturday night when they switched you from the traditional ventilator to the oscillator was rough.  Just because we were in Stillwater that night and there was nothing your Dad and I could do to help, plus this was not a sure fix.  But, it worked!  Then, this past Tuesday night when they couldn't get your blood gas numbers to do what they were supposed to and they were tweaking every setting and nothing much was working, that put me on my knees, too.  But, a new tube, some new settings, a blood transfusion the next day, and you were doing MUCH better.  "They" say the NICU ride is quite a roller coaster, and it is SO very true.  Not a day goes by that I don't cry for some reason - either happy tears because you are ALIVE and MINE and so adorably cute, or because I am scared, terrified, angry, or worried as you work so hard to stay cute.  You are my miracle!  My mom always says you never stop learning, and the last 2 weeks have been a crash course!

Tonight, your Daddy will be here for the whole weekend!  It is Fall Break for the schools, so Emma and Lara are spending time with their "other dad," Jake is staying with friends, and your Daddy is coming to OKC to spend the whole weekend with me and you!  We have a hotel room, and we are excited to hang out with you, and each other!  I've been on bed rest and then here with you for over 2 months, so you Dad and I have kind of missed out on just being a couple.  This is a welcome break, and we can't wait to share it with you!  Besides spending as much time as we can with you, we hope to go to the movies, eat good food, reconnect, and just celebrate the life God has given us!  I might even put on some make up for the occasion!  (I haven't done that in months, either!)  OH - and while we are gone, our dear friends are invading our house to decorate your nursery!  It's all a big surprise, and I can't wait to see it on Sunday!  But more importantly than that, I can't wait to bring you home so you can enjoy it.  can you work really hard for me and be home by Christmas?   I would really love for Santa not to have to find you in the NICU... It's only 12 days before your due date!  I know you can do it!

So, I will close my first letter to you with this.  I love you.  Forever.  No matter what.  Daddy says when you are 15 and driving me nuts I am not allowed to "hold it over your head" that when you were born I sat by your bedside for months on end willing you to grow and get stronger.  I said, "I'm his mother.  Yes, I can!"  LOL!  And I probably will.  Just so you know how much I love you.  And Daddy loves you!  I tell you everyday the first moment I see you, and again before I leave at night.  Emma, Lara and Jake -- they love you, too.  They ask about you when I call, and the look forward to coming to visit you.  I can't wait for you to be big enough for them to hold you and cuddle you.  And all the people I mentioned before!  Your grandparents (you've got 4 of the best, you know!), Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and the hundreds of others -- some I know and some I don't -- they all love you and want the best for you.  So, right now, you have a big job on your shoulders.  It is to sleep, relax, eat, and grow!  If you get stronger each day, you will be home before we know it!  I love you, Finn Weaver!



  1. Crying as I read this. Tears for you and Finn of gratitude that he is here and fighting and growing. Tears for the difficult road of having a baby in the Nicu and all the fear, anxiety, and worry that comes with it, and tears for all those tiny precious moments of life you experience with him- the whispered I love yous, the moments cradling him in his icolete, etc. praying, praying, always praying for Finn and you all and the kids pray with me nightly as well. Team Finn!

  2. Beautiful! Keep strong Mr. Finn & family. So many prayers for all of you!

  3. LOVE THIS!!! From my Family to Your Family.....Many, Many Prayers!!!
    Can't wait to see lil man swimming at the pool with the rest of the crew :)

  4. You're right, we don't know each other and I'm praying. We are lifting up Finn's name to God and I'm glad you can feel the power of prayer surround you and your beautiful family.

  5. and from one mom to another, you SOOO get to hold this over his head when he is 15!!!! :-)

    Sending our love!

    PS...Cori got to see Jake at church on Sunday and was so excited!!