Letter to Finn at 2

Happy Birthday, Finn!

Today, you turn 2 years old.  Marks the second anniversary of the scariest night of my life.  The longest 3 months in the NICU, and the fastest 21 months since then!  WOW!  What a journey we have been on. You, and your minor medical issues, your Dad and I learning how to be parents to a micro-preemie along with 3 big kids, and our whole family as we learn to adjust to your ever changing ways!  You have made our family complete.  And completely crazy!  Wouldn't have it any other way!

Son, you have met so many challenged head on!  And tackled them with the tenacity you have been known for since day one.  Walking was slow to come this year, but at 18 months, you got it, and never looked back!  You are still my finicky Finn, and refuse basically any kind of fruit or vegetable (which the WIC lady lectured me about), but when you do find something you like to eat, you gobble it up!  And, I think you set some kind of record this morning for guzzling down your Pedia-Sure in under 2 minutes!  WOW!  You've got "HANGRY" (angry hungry) down! 

I can count about 30-40 words you use consistently.  That's HUGE - and has all come in the last 6 weeks.  Before that, all you said was UP.  Up meant the opposite of whatever was happening at the moment.  If you were down and wanted up, you said UP.  If you were up and wanted down, you said UP.  Hungry? UP Sleepy? UP Shoes on? UP!  Up Up Up! LOL!  We are so glad you have a bigger vocabulary now, and we are enjoying hearing you talk.

You are right in the middle of the typical twos.  You are great at throwing a fit when you get frustrated.  I have been bitten a few times, as has Nana the Wonder Sitter.  And we cringe every time you bang your head against our hard floors.  We have a hard time figuring out what you want, be we always try!  It's no fun to see you so frustrated!  And, you still pull your hair - sometimes to sooth yourself, and again hen you are mad!  Silly boy!

You can point out and say by name: Pistol Pete, Eskimo Joe and Buffy, Mickey Mouse and Elmo.  You love to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in the mornings as everyone gets ready!  And your favorite activity at the FUMC Early Childhood Center you go to 2 days a week is water play! 

You are so fun to be around and to watch grow.  You are a miracle.  And a blessing.  And you are ours.  We all love you so very much.  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Dream Weaver Prints (click for larger)

First Birthday Letter

Dean Finn,

Well, my sweet boy.  We made it to a year.  I look back and at times I wasn’t sure we would ever get here in one piece.  But we did!  ALL of us!  It has truly taken a very strong family and the support of a village to get to his point.  I am so blessed to be your Mommy, and to be a part of this family.  I have no idea why God put this path before me, but I can honestly say I am so much a better person for it.  And your path is just starting!  I was just thinking this week about HOW MANY lives you have touched, and you haven’t even spoken your first word or walked your first step.  You are shining the light of Jesus, and you don’t even know you are doing it!

Happy FIRST Birthday, Little Man!  You are SUCH a complete joy to be around!  You smile so easily, and you charm everyone you encounter.  Your eyes are so expressive, and your numerous facial expressions keep us all guessing as to what is going on in that perfectly round head of yours!  You are sporting some pretty blonde hair right now!  There’s not a lot of it, but it is a color and texture I didn’t expect!  You have 5 teeth, and I keep thinking that sixth one will break through any day!  2 on bottom and 3 on top – the middle two and the one next to it on the left.  You bit your own arm about a week ago, and the mark left on your forearm was definitely yours – there were 5 little indentations!  You can crawl like greased lightning, and you pull up to stand CONSTANTLY.  You like to climb over people who are playing on the floor with you, and your favorite toys are the blue hand clapper noise maker you acquired at Alpha Delta Pi Bid Day back in August, a toy cell phone that has a mirror on it – although I think the orange webbing that attached it to a ring is really your favorite part – and the blue triangle shaped chewy tube.  Oh, and Stella.  You love pulling her ears, yanking her tail, and sticking your hands in her mouth.  And lucky for you, she is so gentle and just lets you!  

You are eating more and more table food every day!  You really like chicken, and cheese and BREAD!  My kind of kid!  You never did take to pureed baby food.  I have a nice stash to pass down to the next baby in line…  You have been waking up in the middle of the night more these past couple of weeks.  I remember reading where that happens around 9-10 months, so  guess you are there.  Daddy and I sure would appreciate you getting back into sleeping all night, though.  Some nights, you just need a cuddle and a back pat, others, you need food and a play date! LOL!  Silly Monkey!  Our biggest obstacle right now is your SEVERE separation anxiety and stranger danger!  WOW!  You have QUITE a set of lungs on you (which we are very happy about)!  Church is a complete scream-fest for you, and we learned last weekend at Daddy’s High School reunion, you don’t do well with the Weaver grandparents, either.  So, for right now, you don’t like for anyone to care for you except Mommy, Daddy, Nana and (occasionally) Grandpa.  You sure are lucky to have them so close!  So are Daddy and I or we would never get a free minute!

Finn, you are just too cute for words.  And have such a laid back, precious temperament.  You are perfectly content to sit and play with your toys without outside intervention, and you are easily fascinated by anything with lights.  If you are crying, you have a pretty significant physical need that is not being met – even if it’s just a hug!  We are so proud of the wonderful little boy you are becoming.  You have come SO FAR!  And you just keep amazing us with your discoveries and your sweet disposition.  You are getting pretty close to standing alone – I’ve even seen you let go a few times.  Daddy and I have a bet going about whether or not you will be walking by Christmas!  Daddy says yes – by Thanksgiving even – but I am on the more conservative side and say it will be after the first of the New Year.  Either way, we know we are in for a chase when it happens!  You love to be all over the place making mayhem!  The dog bowl for water and Nana’s potted plants don’t stand a chance against you!

Daddy and I have worked really hard to plan a fun “Milk & Cookies” 1^st birthday party for you.  We have some special gifts for you, too.  We can’t wait to share this celebration with you, and to let you dig into your first birthday cake.  Your brother Jake and your sisters Emma and Lara are so delighted to have you for a little brother!  They always want to show you off, and they even argue about who gets to play with you next.  You are such a lucky little guy to be surrounded by such marvelous people that care so much for you.  But, I think your Dad and I are the luckiest parents on Earth!  We love you more than you can every possibly understand, and we are just so proud of you and how far you have come.  We are blessed to be on this journey with you, and we can’t wait to see what God has in store for such a special baby!

Happy 1^st Birthday, Finn.

I love you,

Momma

A letter to Finn at 9 months old

Dear Finn,

Well, an app on my iPhone just beeped and alerted me that you are 9 months old today.  How in the world did that happen?  Especially since I am pretty sure I just brought you home like a month ago!  But, the calendar doesn’t lie, and you are, in fact, ¾ of a year old today.  Luckily for us, your adjusted age will only be 6 months tomorrow.  I can totally live with that a lot better.  The app also told me that separation anxiety peaks around 9 months old.  I wonder how the adjusted age thing plays into that…

You are such a joy!  A very smiley baby!  Everyone loves to see you smile, and you are so friendly you will share that smile with just about anyone!  Daddy and Nana are your favorites to smile at, but you will share with me and your siblings, too!  Your dad and I have a million pictures of that infectious smile on our phones and camera!  Let’s see, you are still in 3-6 month clothing – although the one piece pajamas are starting to get a little too short, wearing size 2 diapers, you can roll front to back with no problem and you try back to front every once in a while, you can sit for about 2 seconds on your own, and YOU HAVE YOUR FIRST TOOTH!  It just popped through the gums yesterday!  I am going to miss those precious toothless grins!  Just another indicator that you are in growing into a Big Boy!

You go see your pediatrician next week for your regular 9 month checkup, and we also have a hearing screening scheduled for that day – just routine since you were a NICU baby!  I am pretty sure you can hear just fine since you have all the noise of a 6 person home around you!  You got to enjoy your first 4th of July fireworks display last night, and you were in awe!  Just sat in my lap and stared at the beautiful lights in the sky!

And your local celebrity streak continues!  The Oklahoma Blood Institute once again used your miracle status as a call to action for people to donate blood, and to show how that act can literally change a life!  You are the cover boy for this summer’s OBI newsletter – and we couldn’t be more proud.  You are showing off that precious smile again!

I love you, my little peanut!  I can’t wait to find out how much you’ve grown when we weigh you and measure you next week.  You change every day, and I am so blessed to be a part of this miracle.  You have changed our entire family for the better, and I am appreciating every moment we get to grow and stretch with you.  Thank you for being my son, and for teaching us all so many important lessons.

Love,

Mom

Half a Year

Dear Finn,

In the hustle and bustle of a family of six, you turned six months old a few days ago.  Last Thursday, to be exact!  Your Daddy was home that day with you, and we were still trying to get your child care situation worked out since I went back to work.  (Not really BACK to work so much as I got a new job, but I am not home with you all the time now – I sure miss it!)  I have a silly tradition of taking my kid’s pictures on the monthly recurrence of the date they were born.  I did it with your older twin sisters, with Jake, and with you.  Those first few pictures are some of the most precious pictures I have ever taken, and I hope as a family we always remember that time and how far we have come as a family.

As for you, you are a fighter!  And still completely unpredictable!  You eat when you want to, sleep when you want to, and never do the same thing twice!  We have a better pattern going than we did for a while, and you only wake up once in the night, eat, and go right back to sleep, but the days are hit or miss!  You have good, fun, smiley days, and long, hard, crying days.  Still have colic most evenings, and still break my heart when I can’t make you feel better.  In the past few days, you have mastered grabbing at things, and my long hair seems to be the number one target.  We have gotten a few toys in your hands as well, but your muscle control isn’t the best yet, and you often end up banging yourself in the head with things!  ;)  Your doctors, SoonerStart child development specialist, and all the books say you need to do tummy time as often as possible.  That’s all fine and dandy, but you are not so much of a fan!  You still don’t lift your head up off the floor, and you don’t use your arms to help hold yourself up.  You do, however, plant your forehead firmly on the floor, and scoot (right, left, right) with your legs to move yourself forward.  While this is good, we really need you to hold your head up, buddy!  You are getting there, though.  When I hold you up over my head looking down at me, you support your head then, so we know it’s coming.  You also like to sit looking forward some.  Your head still wobbles and bobbles, but you can catch it and correct it yourself!  SUCH a strong boy!

This past weekend was Easter weekend.  You made your big public debut all over the place!  Saturday morning we took family pictures on the OSU campus, then Saturday night we went to Enid to Grandpa Jake and Grandma Mary’s church to see Grandpa sing in the Easter pageant.  You were a bit fussy, so you and I spent the first part outside, but we got to see the 2^nd half of it!  Then on Sunday you went to LifeChurch for the very first time!  You made some people cry, and our campus pastor said seeing you made his whole weekend!  LOTS of people were excited and thrilled to see you and to finally get to meet you!  Seems like we have come full circle since this was also the anniversary of Uncle Brian’s death.  That’s the event that started this whole roller coaster ride.  Seems fitting somehow…

On Monday, our SoonerStart worker came and played with you, you helped me take Stella to the vet, then we had another GREAT appointment with your pediatrician!  You weighed in at 12 pounds 4 ounces and were 24 inches long.  Good Growing, Little Man!  She also released you from all your tethers!  No more monitor – even at night!  That was the last thing we were waiting on.  Now, I am sad to tell you we still have a surgery coming up to take care of your hernia, but we’ll worry about that when the time comes.  For now, just rejoice with us that you are a FREE BABY!  I love being able to pick you up in the morning and snuggle you and catch your first smiles of the day without tripping over wires or accidentally setting off the alarms!  Such a great way to start the day!  You got 2 shots and one oral vaccine, and you woke up Tuesday morning with a bit of a fever, but one dose of fever reducer and you were good for the rest of the day - even made it to pick up Lara from dance to go to Emma's volleyball practice where we ended up talking March of Dimes with 3 other preemie parents.  Such a trooper!

Tuesday was a day of resting, because on Wednesday, you had ANOTHER big adventure!  Daddy and I both had half a day off work to take you back down to see our friends at Mercy.   

But this time, there was a camera crew there to see you, too!  We had been asked by the Oklahoma Blood Institute people to tell your story on camera to help promote the Mathis Brothers Furniture / KOCO Channel 5 blood drive that is happening this coming weekend.  You did SO GOOD!  You fell asleep while Daddy and I were talking to the camera, but you sure are sweet when you are sleeping, so the camera loved you like that!  We got to visit with a few of our favorite Mercy staff members as well, so it was a GREAT trip!  We got the word later that afternoon that the piece would air on television THAT NIGHT!  It was fun calling, texting and posting to facebook for everyone to tune in or set their DVR’s!  Unfortunately, the DVR at our house didn’t record for some reason!  We got home from t-ball practice for Jake and church/LifeGroup for the rest of us, and it wasn’t there.  We got to see it at Nana's house on Thursday, but it wasn't QUITE the same!

So, this past 6 months has definitely been the most eventful 6 months of MY life, and probably yours, too!  I have learned so much, leaned on others so much, and listened to God so much.  Thank you, Finn Ricker Weaver, for being the instrument to teach me those lessons.  I am so lucky to be your Mommy.  Here are the pictures of you on the 5^th of the last 6 months.  You have come so far!  I think we all have.  And we have you to thank for it.  We all love you so much!  Keep getting stronger and stronger and stronger! Love, Mom

Birth - October 5, 2011 - 1 lb 14 oz

1 month - November 5, 2011 - 2 lbs 2 oz

2 months - December 5, 2011 - 4 lbs 6 oz

3 months - January 5, 2012 - 7 lbs

4 months - February 5, 2012 - 9 lbs 6 oz

5 months - March 5, 2012 - 10 lbs 10 oz

6 months - April 5, 2012 - 12 lbs 4 oz

Dear Finn Weaver

Dear Finn Weaver,

Well, son!  You are 2 weeks old!  I am so proud of all the accomplishments you've made.  They told me a couple of days ago that you are not the smallest baby on the unit anymore!  You weigh a whole kilogram (2 pounds 3 ounces) now!  Plus, you are off the photo therapy lights (again) so I can see your sweet face without that silly mask of goggles.  I know the oscillator is doing a lot of the breathing work for you, but it is your job to relax and let it do it's job.  Thank you for being such a fighter.  We know you were born too soon (14 weeks too soon to be exact), and without all the medical knowledge and equipment you have around you, and without your fighting spirit, and without the love of our all-powerful God, we know we would not have you in our lives.  What a blessing you are!

Finn, do you have any idea how many people are praying for you?  People you and I will never meet.  People you and I have no way of knowing.  Son, you are covered in the biggest blanket of prayer!  So many people reaching out to Jesus on your behalf for healing, growth, comfort, and love.  And they are petitioning for me and your Dad, too. For strength, patience, knowledge and healing.  I know we feel it, and I hope you do, too.  There are people all over the place thinking of you and pulling for you and reading about you on Facebook, Twitter, and our blog.  I am so thankful for the Internet and social media for letting me share you and our story with so many, so easily.  You are a tiny, helpless baby, but you already help your dad and I shine the light of Jesus to so many everyday!

I have spent the better part of everyday of the last two weeks by your bedside.  During the week, I have been staying with some friends here in Oklahoma City.  I get up early every morning to get a ride to the hospital, and I stay as late as I can every night before they take me back to their house.  On the weekends, your Daddy brings your sisters and brother up to visit you.  Nana and Grandpa have been here a few times, too.  Plus, you've had lots of other visitors as well!  Everyone thinks you are so cute.  They ask me who you look like, but I am not really sure yet!  The past few days your hair has looked a bit red - like your sisters', and you have your brother/dad/grandfather's Weaver ears.  We'll have to see as you get bigger which side of the family you resemble more.

You've given us a couple of pretty rough nights and a few scares, Mr. Finn.  And unfortunately, I hear that's not over yet!  When you scare us, we just pray harder!  Maybe that's the lesson you are trying to teach us.  Last Saturday night when they switched you from the traditional ventilator to the oscillator was rough.  Just because we were in Stillwater that night and there was nothing your Dad and I could do to help, plus this was not a sure fix.  But, it worked!  Then, this past Tuesday night when they couldn't get your blood gas numbers to do what they were supposed to and they were tweaking every setting and nothing much was working, that put me on my knees, too.  But, a new tube, some new settings, a blood transfusion the next day, and you were doing MUCH better.  "They" say the NICU ride is quite a roller coaster, and it is SO very true.  Not a day goes by that I don't cry for some reason - either happy tears because you are ALIVE and MINE and so adorably cute, or because I am scared, terrified, angry, or worried as you work so hard to stay cute.  You are my miracle!  My mom always says you never stop learning, and the last 2 weeks have been a crash course!

Tonight, your Daddy will be here for the whole weekend!  It is Fall Break for the schools, so Emma and Lara are spending time with their "other dad," Jake is staying with friends, and your Daddy is coming to OKC to spend the whole weekend with me and you!  We have a hotel room, and we are excited to hang out with you, and each other!  I've been on bed rest and then here with you for over 2 months, so you Dad and I have kind of missed out on just being a couple.  This is a welcome break, and we can't wait to share it with you!  Besides spending as much time as we can with you, we hope to go to the movies, eat good food, reconnect, and just celebrate the life God has given us!  I might even put on some make up for the occasion!  (I haven't done that in months, either!)  OH - and while we are gone, our dear friends are invading our house to decorate your nursery!  It's all a big surprise, and I can't wait to see it on Sunday!  But more importantly than that, I can't wait to bring you home so you can enjoy it.  can you work really hard for me and be home by Christmas?   I would really love for Santa not to have to find you in the NICU... It's only 12 days before your due date!  I know you can do it!

So, I will close my first letter to you with this.  I love you.  Forever.  No matter what.  Daddy says when you are 15 and driving me nuts I am not allowed to "hold it over your head" that when you were born I sat by your bedside for months on end willing you to grow and get stronger.  I said, "I'm his mother.  Yes, I can!"  LOL!  And I probably will.  Just so you know how much I love you.  And Daddy loves you!  I tell you everyday the first moment I see you, and again before I leave at night.  Emma, Lara and Jake -- they love you, too.  They ask about you when I call, and the look forward to coming to visit you.  I can't wait for you to be big enough for them to hold you and cuddle you.  And all the people I mentioned before!  Your grandparents (you've got 4 of the best, you know!), Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and the hundreds of others -- some I know and some I don't -- they all love you and want the best for you.  So, right now, you have a big job on your shoulders.  It is to sleep, relax, eat, and grow!  If you get stronger each day, you will be home before we know it!  I love you, Finn Weaver!

Love,
Mom