December to Remember

My poor ole blog has been feeling a ton of neglect!  I have not had a spare moment since the middle of November to document the events and thoughts that the Dream Weavers have encountered!  This will definitely be a season we will remember.  I honestly think we are in a point in our lives where we are the busiest we can possibly be.  This has caused stress, illness, frustrations, and so much immeasurable JOY!  We will never have this season again.  The kids will all continue to get older and more self-sufficient.  Times like this are fleeting.  And we know it.  But while we are in the trenches, it is EXHAUSTING!

So, since the last post, we have had QUITE a few event, changes, and exciting things going on.  For Thanksgiving, we had the usual!  Family and friends gather at a local restaurant with a HUGE pot luck meal, and then a fun game of Dirty Santa for those who want to participate.  My husband pointed out this year that the thing he misses the most about this tradition is that there are no left overs!  I hadn't thought about that.  I guess next year we should cook a small turkey for ourselves as well! It's always a good time, and I am glad we have that fun tradition.

Thanksgiving 2013

Emma is between Volleyball seasons, so she is honing her babysitting skills by practicing on her brother for short periods of time.  We are so thankful for her sweet spirit with her brother.  But, she lacks longevity.  He bores her pretty quickly.  LOL  Lara is on cloud nine as she has just found out that one of her dance numbers for the Spring recital is a Lady Gaga song.  She is also a wonderful babysitter for Finn!  She lasts a little longer, and has a great way of engaging him and keeping him busy.  Maybe soon they can start their own babysitting business!

Lara, Emma and boys from our neighborhood in the Cleon Snow!

Jake has just started basketball practice for his season.  This boy LOVES basketball!  He got his uniform at the second practice, and insisted on wearing it to bed...

Jake loves basketball

And then there is Finn.  This boy literally keep us hopping.  He is at the adorable (-ly frustrating) stage where his personality really starts to shine, and his fuse is very short.  I know he gets frustrated because we can't understand him and he has SO MUCH to say!  But, he is just so cute, and fun.  He absolutely LOVES to sing.  And he is an independent player, so it's fun to just observe him from across the room - playing alone and singing.  He loves book, building things with Legos, music, and his Little People.  But, he still suffers with those pesky preemie lungs.  He got RSV.  AGAIN!  UGH!  But, we are so lucky that we caught it early and avoided hospitalization.  He was cleared to go back to school after missing a week today!  I hope seeing his friends and teachers will snap the boredom streak he has been in.  Between him being sick, and the snow storm we had last week, there was a solid 4 days that he didn't leave the house.  He was BORED!  I am happy to say that being in the house all those days really built his vocabulary!  He has gained about 50 more words in the past week.  He lost 2 pounds of weight, though.  Always a give and take with this kid!

Finn with RSV

And during ALL the hustle and bustle, this Momma took a new job.  I know, RIGHT?!?!  And it was totally unexpected.  A friend read the job description, emailed it to me, and encouraged me to apply.  So, on somewhat of a whim, I did.  And I got called for the interview. And then I got offered the job!  WOW!  Not what I thought I would be doing this last 4 weeks!  I had to quit a job I love, work the last 2 weeks there, start a new job that is WAY outside my usual work zone, and juggle all the changes this caused at home as well.  My new position is a 30 hour a week job, and I go in at 7:30 am and get off at 2:00pm.  This changes some of the roles and responsibilities at home.  But it is SO SO SO worth it!  More time with my kids, a challenging job, and a change for the better.  I started last week as the Media Marketing Specialist for University Dining Services at Oklahoma State University.   I am in charge of the website, the social media platforms, the digital menu screens located around the dining facilities, and other special projects.  It is a brand new position, so we are all learning as we go.  I got exactly one day of training last week before the snow storm named Cleon made a mess things.  So, while it has not been a smooth transition, I know I will love this job once I get a little more comfortable with it!

SANTA 2013  Emma, Finn, Jake and Lara

And Christmas is staring us in the face!  We have exactly ONE gift purchased.  It has been a little busy around here.  But, we still have time.  And Santa Britt has a list, and a trip planned.  We WILL have Christmas!  The kids are excited about the season, and we are enjoying the festivities at their schools.  What a magical time of the year.  And this year, I know we will remember this December for a long time to come!  SO many changes - for the better!  Merry Christmas from our family, to yours!

Merry Christmas from the Weaver's 2013

{Grateful}

Oklahoma State University Football is ranked number 11, a new restaurant has opened in my little town, and Adam Levine is the sexiest man alive.  Other than that, not a whole lot has been going on for the month of November in Weaver-land.  Britt is growing out his (obligatory November) beard, the kids are keeping us slightly less busy as we have no sports activities this month, and we have finally caught up on all the 2 year visits for Finn’s specialists. 

November is Prematurity Awareness month, so our activities with the March of Dimes have kept us a little busy.  Britt and I were honored to be guests at the March of Dimes Signature Chef’s event in Oklahoma City earlier this month.  We enjoyed an eight-course meal presented by local chefs (and a brew-master), a live auction, and just a GREAT night out!  We have been busy growing our local March for Babies committee and laying the ground work for the 2014 walk, too.  We have a date, a location, and an Ambassador Family.  Now, we just need an event chair, and about1,000 other details!  Last Sunday, November 17, was World Prematurity Day.  As a family, we spent the afternoon at the Mercy NICU handing out cookies, freebies, and information to help raise awareness of this important topic.  We also watched on Facebook as buildings around the WORLD were lit up with purple lights in order to show their support.  It really is an amazing thing to be a part of!

Even though it is not QUITE Thanksgiving yet, I have started my Holiday Sales in earnest over at my Dream Weaver Prints shop!  I am not doing a ton of Christmas stuff this year – in order to allow time for MY family, but I do have some printables for download, and I am taking some special orders for Christmas cards.  Get your order in fast before my time slots fill up!

As we are turning the corner towards Thanksgiving this week, I am reminded of how blessed I am to be in the time and place I am, and to have the amazing and wonderful family that I do.  My great husband, fabulous kids, a good home, a nice job, and a wonderful community to share it all with.  I am looking forward to this busy holiday time, and I am super excited about what 2014 holds for our family!  I hope you take time over the next few weeks to reflect on your blessings and all the things you have to be thankful for!

But, I don’t want to push anymore...

You’re right.  It sounds whiny and selfish.  And you’re right, again.  Some days, I am whiny and selfish.  Some days, I am the exact things that cause my precious 2 year old son to drive me batty.  The biggest differences?  I can communicate effectively about it.  AND, I have opposable thumbs so I can TYPE about it and put in on the internet.  WINNING.

Parenting is hard.  Preemie parenting is a whole new ball game.  That, frankly, I didn’t buy tickets for.  They were given to me.  Forced upon me MONTHS before I was able to fathom the responsibilities that came with it.  While I can see them for the irreplaceable and miraculous gift that they are, there are times I want to say “NO, Thanks!” and give back the tickets to the crappy seats with the questionable view to the game with too many overtimes. But then, it’s the seventh inning stretch, everyone is happy and celebrating a comfortable lead, and I remember, not everyone gets to experience the game this way.  Not every Mom was trusted with the challenges of premature babies.  It’s an elite club.  One I am truly blessed to be a member of.

So, why all the baseball non-sense?  Because I have had a few of “those” days lately.  And it makes being a Mommy hard.  Life after NICU is not an easy road.  I am tired of pushing.  Pushing and pulling, coaxing and coddling, to get my baby to “catch up” to normal 2 year olds.  I often wonder WHY?  Why does he need to be normal or “within the range of normal” for a specific development?  We were often told in the NICU by well-meaning staff, and even by other preemie parents that were on the “outside,” that preemies were strong and resilient and that most of them in Finn’s situation (without specific medical complications at discharge) will “catch up” by 2 years old.  I am so grateful for a friend who I met for the first time when Finn was about 2 weeks old.  He was still in the hospital (of course), but I had come home to go to a party with some friends.  She was there, and she had a son who was 4 at the time who was a preemie – a surviving twin. She knew our story and who we were, and not 20 seconds into our very first conversation she told me, “They don’t all catch up.  People will tell you by age 2 he’ll catch up, but don’t be surprised if he doesn’t.”  Honestly, I hated her for that (we’ve talked, we’re over it – GREAT friends now!).  I hated that she had burst my bubble that I had worked for DAYS to build up just so I could come home to this party while my baby fought for his life.  Way to ruin my evening, Friend.  But looking back, I am SO GLAD she was so brutally honest with me.  While Finn is GREAT and PERFECT and WONDERFUL, he is tiny, and has lung problems, and some hearing loss, and speech delays, and feeding (texture) issues.  And he’s TWO.  He is not your average 2 year old.

This was all brought on by the milestones he has reached recently, and the ways in which he is still behind.  Right around his second birthday last month, Finn’s vocabulary really JUMPED!  We were so excited as 3 words became 10, 10 became 20 and 20 become 50 in a very short period of time!  The “plan” we had written with our Child Development Specialist (that comes 1-2 times a month to assess Finn, and has since the day he came home from the NICU), has indicated we wanted him to have 50 words, so we were THERE!  YAY!  Celebrations abound!  Until, she says, “OK!  Now, when I come next time we have to write a new plan with new goals.”  *sigh*  Over the last 2 years, we have done this several times.  Written a plan, met the goal, written a new plan.  He had a plan to get off the supplemental oxygen.  He had a plan to roll over.  To push up, sit up, stand up; crawl, walk, run; chew, babble, talk… And on and on and on.  We’re always working towards the next goal.  Always pushing.  Always pulling.  What if I don’t want to try so hard anymore?  It’s tiring.  It’s frustrating.  It’s disappointing when there is no progress.  Finn is still very much the same personality he was in the NICU.  He is stubborn.  Wants to do things his way and in his own time.  He was often on the brink of something good happening during his hospital stay (off the oscillator, on to bottle feed, etc), and he would regress and we would have to wait several days to get back to that point.  He is still the same way.  Reminds me of all the roller coaster dips and turns we took 2 years ago.

Here we were at 50 words, and we hit a plateau.  No new words.  No stringing 2 words together.  No sentences.  And, we noticed his eating habits were getting worse and worse, not better.  In his imaginary perfect world, he would like to survive on PediaSure (but only the vanilla or strawberry; hates banana, and I hate the chocolate because it stains) and Goldfish alone.  And because ANY food or calorie intake is better than none, I am pretty sure a few days he does just that.  But, that’s not what ne needs to be doing.  He gets 2 bottles of PediaSure a day.  (At an average of  $1.67 per can, that’s $3.33 a day, $23.33 a week, $95 a month – his drinking habits cost more than any of his brother and sister’s lessons or activities).  Some days, he gets 3 (cha-ching).  Plus, the 2% milk – typically flavored with strawberry or chocolate just so he will drink it.  He will only eat things that are crunchy (cookies, crackers, chips, cereal).  Nothing smooth (aside from an occasional pudding), slick or slimy.  This includes all fruits and vegetables.  His favorite meat is chicken.  And yes, we feed him beef, pork and shrimp but tell him it’s chicken.  It works.  Like 20% of the time.  The WIC nurse was upset with me at our last appointment because he doesn’t eat fruits or vegetables.  I was tired, and I know.  So I said, “OK.  YOU try to feed him and see how it works.”  I know it was rude, but did she honestly think I didn’t know he needs a balanced diet?  HE WON’T EAT!  Anyway – I know all the talking and eating issues are related.  He was intubated for 7 weeks.  That’s a super long time.  

Finn. Early days. Intubated.

So, here we are.  Pushing again.  He has decided the Buddy Fruits blended fruit puree pouches are acceptable again (when he was first introduced to solids we relied on these heavily, but he started refusing them months ago).  But only certain kinds.  I can't keep track of what he likes and refuses to even get close to.  You should se the fits he throws when he thinks we are trying to "trick" him with real milk instead of his beloved PediaSure.  Good times.  We are sneaking in veggies where we can, with limited success.  Our “plan” for this next 3 months is to get him to eat a better variety of textures, and to get to 2 word combinations (blue ball, bug truck, my fork). 

We talk and talk and talk to him to get him to repeat us.  Even if we’re tired.  And don’t want to.  And we throw away more food than you can imagine trying to get him to try just one more thing.  We could feed a third world village on Finn's scraps.  There are days when I really just want him to be “normal.” To have a “normal” day without constantly working with him to make some grandiose stride towards a goal.  So, I let us have those days.  Days where I don’t push and I don’t worry and I don’t force.  But then it’s right back to the pushing.  It’s not about me.  It’s about Finn.  And his future.  We have no idea what that will look like, but as parents of this precious miracle, it’s our job privilege to make sure he is ready.  So we push.  Day after day.  Month after month.  And, it’s totally worth it.  Even on my worst days, my most dramatic whiny and selfish days, he is so very worth it.  

Creativity, Carving and Calamity

Well, "calamity" (which means an event resulting in great loss and misfortune), may be a bit strong, but turning pumpkins into Jack-o-lanterns with the Six Dream Weavers was (as always) an adventure!  I mean, you can  picture it, right?  3 "big" kids eager to to get started, but not all that interested in cleaning out the pumpkin guts, a six year old DETERMINED to save the seeds for roasting, and a 2 year old, doing all his 2 year old things, right in the middle of all of it.  I only freaked out for a second, then I was reminded by my husband that they are just kids, everything is washable, and as long as we keep the knives from the toddler all is well.

(Interesting sidebar: my kids (the big three) are not the best at choosing something and sticking to it.  The Twisters went back and forth a dozen times on whether or not they wanted costumes to go TorT'ing, then once we agreed that they WERE dressing up, they couldn't come up with a costume choice.  As of Monday of this week, we still had nothing.  I make a decision for them.  And Jake - same way!  We've been asking him since September what we wanted to be for Halloween.  He was a ninja last year, and for a long time he wanted to wear last year's customer (which would never fit, and I doubt we have all the pieces to).  FINALLY got him to pick by taking him shopping one hour before a carnival he was going to last Friday night!  I picked Finn's costume, so that was easy!)  This trend translates to jack-o-lantern design as well.  Pick a design.  Anytime now.  Just pick.  Sketch something out.  Triangle eyes.  A nose.  A mouth.  Or pick form the designs dad printed off.  FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS CREEPY AND SPOOKY, PICK SOMETHING!)

So, let's start with the annual trek to Grider's Farm to pick the pumpkins.  This has been an INSANE month for us, so it almost didn't happen.  But, as luck had it, we were all in the same place with no pressing commitments last Sunday afternoon, so off we went!  We came home with about a dozen pumpkins of various sizes.

So, Monday night, after a quick dinner and clean up, the TIME HAD COME!  Each child went outside and picked up "their" pumpkin, Dad broke out the "carving tool kits" and I got the good knives.  We put plastic down on the kitchen floor, and got to work.  I had 3 large bowls, too.  I was in charge of cleaning out the 3 big kids pumpkins 0 Britt did his own.  I just kept putting guts in a bowl, and had the big kids picking out seeds.  Finn, well, he was playing with spoons and guts, tasted some, and loved squishing his hands in the wet seed.  Oh, and while this was going on, they were supposed to be deciding on designs.  WOWza!  Emma and Lara completely carved their own last year, so I let them go at it again this year.  Jake picked a "vampire face" to be like his costume, and I carved it for him.  Then, he decided he wanted to cut one himself.  YIKES!  So, he got another pumpkin, helped me clean it out, and I let him cut the eyes and nose, I did the mouth...

And, while the 5 of us were trying to wrestle Finn, four jack-o-lanterns, countless pokers, carvers, saw tooth tools and knives - as well as piles of guts, seeds, and discarded parts, Britt was sitting calmly at the dining room table working his skills on his masterpiece!  I think he got the better deal here! LOL!  But it was fun, and so worth it.  The kids even helped clean up!  I will let the rest of our night speak in pictures.

trying to keep Finn busy

Lara

Emma

Jake

Dad

Working so well together!  Even if the plastic is now all wadded up under them...

All the seeds they managed to get!

SOMEONE had my camera!  LOVE finding pics like this!  :)

The kids' finished products

Lights on, lights off!

Another Jack-o-Lantern carving party is in the book.  Makin' Memories!

I love Halloween with these kids:

On top of the hay stack at the pumpkin patch

Best. Husband. EVAH!

With six people in our house, it is ALWAYS crazy busy.  And noisy.  And chaotic.  AND FUN!  And you know why?  Because of my AMAZING husband!  He begs me not to call him that – for fear he will fall short – but I tell him over and over and over again, “Ain’t gonna happen!”  In my eyes, and in my heart, there is no one better at being the first in command at Six Dream Weavers!  My husband, my friend, my confidant, my love.

As usual, we have had a super busy last few weeks.  Between March of Dimes committee work, the March for Babies, Finn’s birthday, Emma’s volleyball, Lara’s dance, Jake’s flag football, Finn’s numerous medical and developmental appointments, traveling over Fall Break for a family wedding, work, school and church, I MISS MY HUSBAND!  I feel like I don’t get to spend time with him much these days.  We haven’t had a date in months, and I don’t think we have seen a movie (alone, together, in a theater) in over a year.  We try to have lunch together most days, but even then we are under the time crunch of work responsibilities, and all we do is talk about our crazy schedule!

So, I want to take this opportunity to brag on my man a little bit.  He’s been feeling the pressure of being the Leader of our family this month, and he deserves some applause.  He wears the hat of husband/father/provider very VERY well, and I want to tell you about it!

He is the Head and Spiritual Leader of our home.   His God given charge and one he takes seriously.  Most important job he has.  He prays with us and for us, and reminds us to keep the Faith.  He lifts us up and encourages us, even in the darkest of nights.  He starts every single day in the Word, and encourages me to do the same.  I love him so much for his example of being an Overcomer!  

But, the list goes on from there.  A little over 2 years ago he took over laundry duty since I was in the hospital.  I have never fully taken it back (I am in charge of towels and “miscellaneous” loads).  He is in charge of all things “outside” including the garage, the storage area, and the yard.  He is CFO.  That stands for Chief Food Officer (I loathe grocery shopping (ADD kicks in and I just want to leave), and while I am fully capable of “warming things up,” he is our head cook).  It stands for Chief Financial Officer (guardian of the checkbook, master of bills, stifle-r of on-line shopping).  And it stands for Chief FUN Officer.  He told me once long ago that his goal is to make me laugh once a day.  Most days, he far surpasses that goal!  Sometimes it is at our children’s expense (when do they “get” sarcasm?), but most of the time it’s just because he is so funny!  And so much fun to be around!  He loves to take the back roads and explore the unknown - traits I simply don't have!  He helps with household chores, leads our family meetings (ask me about this sometime – it’s a GREAT tradition we started (his idea) a couple years ago, and it works SO WELL for our family), helps keep our schedule in order (along with my organizing pal, Cozi!), and has the best logistics plans to get it all done when I just can’t see how it will happen.

I love the way he loves me.  And our family.  He is a giver in every sense of the word, and he truly puts my happiness and comfort, as well as that of our kids, before his own.  (Pretty sure he hasn’t had a new pair of shoes in ages.)  And he honors and loves me by loving my girls.  Emma, Lara and I were a package deal - with the added "baggage" of an ex-husband.  A deal he accepted with grace, humbleness and an open mind, but was genuinely overwhelmed by sometimes in the beginning.  Add two bouncing baby boys to the mix, and now and then, we wonder ourselves how we keep our heads above water!  But watching him parent, teach, and guide our babies – ALL FOUR OF THEM -- makes my heart swell with pride.  I admire the way he explains life’s ups and downs to them and how he comforts them when things don’t go their way.  He knows them each so well individually and knows just what they need and when they need it.  He can talk Emma off the ledge wen I don’t even want to try.  He helps Lara laugh at herself and see the joy in things.  He encourages Jake to try new things and never give up.  And, Finn would have cried A LOT MORE than he did the first two years of his life without his sweet Daddy constantly holding him and rocking him.

He is generous to a fault.  And not in a bad way.  We may not be able to even be in the same zip code as “The Joneses’” but if you need something we have, you can have it.  No questions asked.  We don’t always have money to donate or spend, but we have time, and a few talents, and he has shown me the importance of giving freely of those intangible things.  What an AWESOME example he is setting for the next generation!  I never fully understood what it meant to volunteer my time and get involved in something I believe in, until my husband showed me.  Now, I wish I could do more with my time!  He is an AWESOME fundraiser, and the time he spends at the Church welcoming everyone both make me so happy he is part of my life.

Now, don’t think for an instant it’s all perfect in the Weaver house!  Sometimes, we are tired, sick, and fed up.  We yell.  At each other.  Regretfully, in front of the kids.  Even at the kids.  We get frustrated with each other; with life’s circumstances; with too many kids (activities, homework, fights, OH MY!) and not enough time, money, energy.  But in the end, we know what really matters.  Each one of us, and the love we have for each other.  We are a family – and families stick together.  We may not agree on how to fold the towels, or what to have for dinner, or what “on time” means, but we will fight fiercely for our marriage, tirelessly for our kids, and ALWAYS look to God for the answers to our problems.  God promises to make absolutely every one of your life experiences – the joyful ones and the miserable ones – work for you.  I sincerely believe that with my whole heart.

We are so thankful for our parents who are wonderful examples (Weavers married 57+ years; Rickers 46+ years), our fabulous LTC LifeGroup who we get the privilege of doing life with, and all the people who know us, love us, and pray for us.  No, we’re not perfect.  But we are CONTENT.  And that’s a feeling I will take over perfect or happy anyway.  I wake up every day blessed to be in the place I am in, honored to have such an incredible (another word for AMAZING) husband, and to have more than enough under my roof and on my table.  My cup runneth over.

I love you, Babe!  Thanks – for everything! (You are AMAZING!  My phone even says so!)

Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  Matthew 6:31-33

P.S. We definitely agree on how the toilet paper rolls.  OVER!  ALWAYS.