What does it mean to be BOLD?

This past weekend, Lifechurch.tv and Pastor Craig Groeschel shared the second message in a series called BOLD.  The first week was called Amazing Boldness  and we learned that Boldness is a behavior born out of belief.  That God gives ordinary people extraordinary boldness and that your boldness will amaze the world.  This all came at an amazing time in my life, as I was in the middle of the being the boldest I have ever been.  This blog is my expression of BOLD!  Sharing Christ through the circumstances of my life, and praying that my words have touched, helped, or inspired someone – ANYONE – to be more like Christ and put their faith in Him. Not too long after this sermon was preached, I had an acquaintance tweet me, THANKING me for being BOLD.  That was a little affirmation that what I am doing here is making a difference – at least for that one person.

Fast Forward to week two: Bold Prayers.  This week we learned that what you pray for reflects what you believe about God.  Do you pray small, self-focused prayers?  Or do you pray Big, BOLD (Sun Stand Still) world changing prayers?  Pray for BOLDNESS!  Pray for MIRACLES!  If you have been following this blog for any length of time, you know the last 120 days have been an utter roller coaster for me and my family.  The disbelief of my brother’s death (4 months ago yesterday, in fact) and the circumstances surrounding it.  The shock of finding out we were expecting our fourth child and the wondrous surprise that was.  The terror of discovering we might lose the baby – a gift that had been presented to us; one that we never knew we even wanted. And, the miracle of being saved that tragedy.  All God’s work.  All for his glory.  All so I could learn to pray BOLD prayers and bear witness to miracles.  So that I could share these words with you, show you that our God is greater than anything you are facing, and encourage you to be faithful, and to be BOLD.

So, I have been thinking about this BOLD thing a lot the past few days.  At life group last night (shout out some LOVE to my LTC friends!), we went over the Talk It Over questions from this week (as best we could with a dozen kids running around!) and I got to share a little bit more of my story and what it means to me to be BOLD.  And how my journey with Christ has changed over the past 4 months, and what it FEELS like to be on this side of a miracle.  I told them I won’t feel completely comfortable until it is January and I am holding a healthy baby in my arms, but I KNOW that day is coming!  I feel blessed to know so many are praying for us, humbled to know that this life growing inside of me is already changing lives, and loved by so SO many people.  What an amazing demonstration of God’s purpose for our lives!  I received an email from a dear friend earlier this week reflecting on being BOLD, the miracle we have all gotten to be a part of, and how God uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things.  I want to share a portion of it with you:

I’m not just amazed by the journey you’ve already been on and the miracle that has taken place over the last 2 weeks.   I am so moved by you guys and the way you handled every step of the situation.  Believing and knowing that God would hear our prayers and remain faithful.  I look at both of your facebook pages and see the people that commented and joined you in prayer and I’m just blown away.  The number of people alone is incredible…Today I am moved by the impact that Shocker is making in so many of their lives before he/she is even here.  God is already using this baby to lead people to Christ and to witness His work and love in and through you.  This world better watch out for what is coming with the 6^th Dream Weaver!

 …I hope you see that through your trials, through your little Shocker, people can’t ignore the powerful move of God that has happened…

 

Be BOLD this week.  Pray for Boldness.  Seek ways to be bold in your everyday life.  Pray for miracles.  Watch God show off.

Pure Fear

Something happened in our house last night that will be hard to forget for a while. It is slightly embarrassing (for me) to tell this story, but it is so incredible, I feel like I have to share. I need to give you a little bit of background and some set-up so you can see why the events unfolded the way they did.

BACKGROUND:

We have a 2 year old miniature schnauzer named Einstein. He is outside in our fenced back yard most of the time during the day, but we usually let him inside the house sometime during the evening, then he sleeps in a crate in our dining room. He enjoys Emma, likes Lara and Jake, tolerates Britt, and LOVES me. Especially now that I am pregnant; he is always sitting at my feet or following me through the house.

Women have vivid dreams during pregnancy. I was reading about it the other day, and 2 things happen during pregnancies that cause this. Hormones are CrAzy, and experts think that’s what causes the dream to be so real, and so strange sometimes. Plus, pregnant women seem to remember their dreams more because they either don’t at all or don’t as often go into that deep sleep phase that humans have, that comes after the dream REM sleep phase. I’ve had some super real to me, and some super strange ones, too…

I am a Twi-hard. I have read the Stephanie Meyer Twilight series books through twice, almost done with the 3^rd time around. And I have seen the movies dozens of times. I was with a group of about 10 women age 35+ for a midnight showing when Eclipse came out, and I will be at one for Breaking Dawn part 1 as well. (My boss can tell you how many days/hours/minutes away this is, I just know it is in November…) BTW, I am Team Jacob. Real men don’t sparkle, and I like my men tall, HOT and feisty!

SCENARIO

I had gone to bed about 9:30. It was a LONG day yesterday (9 hours with sorority girls during recruitment spirit week – working hard to perfect everything for recruitment next week, and then swimming lessons with Jake, then out for a quick dinner, then birthday shopping for Dad with the 3 littles. OH! And growing a human inside me.). I ate too much for dinner, (which means I ate about 1/3 of what I used to), and I was feeling pretty miserable about it. The kids had all been in bed about half an hour, there was nothing on TV, and no reason to resist, so I went to bed, trusty Kindle in my hand, settled in to read a few pages of my current guilty pleasure: Breaking Dawn. (For those in the know, Bella had just woken up from being turned, had hunted, and was meeting Renesmee for the first time. She had just realized what was going on with Jacob when I put it down…) I was worn out from my day, and I feel asleep very quickly. One of the things I usually do before I go to bed, is crate the dog. If he is already inside, I just tell him to “go to bed” and he saunters over there and gets in the crate, and I close the door and hook the latches. If he is outside, Britt usually lets him in, Einstein finds me, I pet him a bit, then I tell him to “go to bed.” When I went to bed, the dog was still in the backyard.

WHAT HAPPENED

It was about 10:30pm. I had only been asleep 20-30 minutes, but I was fast asleep and dreaming. It was hot (as usual) in our room, and I was sweaty. (I know at 9:30 Britt had said it was still 104 outside.) These days, I like to sleep in a T-shirt and underwear, no sheets on top of me, curled up with my body pillow. All I know is, something fairly heavy and furry, with sharp claws, landed on top of me, and began prodding my bare legs with something wet, squishy, and cold. I sat straight up and let out a blood curdling scream (3 times, to be exact according to my husband), and the offensive thing jumped or fell from my bed. During the 3^rd (?) scream, I hear my husband’s soothing voice coming down the hallway saying “Hey! Hey!”

Um, yeah… so, pretty funny, right? It is now, but right then, it was TERRIFYING! Once Einstein left and Britt got his arms around me, I realized tears were streaming down my face, my throat was sore (that’s how loud I screamed), I tasted vomit in my mouth, and I had dug my fingernails into the palms of my hands. Jake came out of his room (right next to ours) and was standing bleary-eyed in the hall staring at me (my screams scared the crap out of him, and he ended up sleeping with us for a bit – who can blame him!). The dog was at the other end of our 17 foot hallway, sitting (and laying at times) on the tile entryway looking down the hall at us, but he came nowhere near me, until Britt put him in his crate for the night and came to bed. I am not sure what exactly I was dreaming about, but I am pretty sure it had to do with a forest (I remember trees), and due to the content of my late night reading, I am sure it was supernatural…) Took me over an hour to get comfortable and get back to sleep. NOT something I want to repeat anytime soon.

Someday, I’ll tell you about the only other time I remember screaming like that (I need to ask my mom what happened in my childhood to make me scream like that?!?). It involves a late night drive from Dallas to Stillwater, the I-35 bridge over the Red River, and a pedestrian. That time I again scared my husband out of his wits, but I truly believe the Holy Spirit spoke to me that night…. Sigh…. Some other time, then…

Anyway! It is TAX FREE weekend! We are soon off to buy dance shoes for the girls, attend mock recruitment at the sorority house, head to the outlet mall that just opened in Oklahoma City (maybe) to back to school shop for the girls, then dinner out for Dad’s birthday! And hopefully, have dreamless sleep tonight.

A Miracle

Today, I am 17 weeks and 3 days pregnant.  Today, I saw my OB, only 2 short weeks after my hopes were nearly shattered after a trip to the ER.  Today, all hope was restored and this pregnancy was declared a miracle!

I went in to my doctor’s office today see my regular OB here in town for a regular check up.  Pee in a cup, weight check (which is still down a total of 8 for the pregnancy), BP check, listen for the heartbeat with the Doppler.  All of this went well.  Then we discussed the report the high risk Doc in OKC had sent, and how our week had gone as far as symptoms, issues, concerns, etc.  My doctor (while still a bit baffled by what we are dealing with) was very impressed with the report that was sent back to him, and very optimistic about this pregnancy hence forth.  He said to us, ”You know, when they called me at 7 am or whenever it was early that morning, I was really thinking we had no hope.  But, today, it has completely turned around.  You guys are a miracle!”  I go back to see the high risk doctor in about 3 weeks, and my regular doctor in 4 weeks.  SO MUCH easier on the soul than a doctor every other day for 10 days!

And I want to turn that around and say YOU GUYS – our family, friends, co-workers, life group members, casual acquaintances and complete internet strangers – YOU are the miracle.  You believed this with us, prayed it with us, and now you can PRAISE GOD with us.  My husband said it best on Facebook:

“- WOW ... how things can change in a matter of 14 days. 14 days ago we heard that things don't look good at all. 7 days ago we heard that there was a little more hope. Today we heard that it's a miracle. DO NOT TELL ME that prayer does not work. God listens and He answers. Thank you to all you prayer warriors out there!”

I (we) still covet your prayers.  I will not rest until there is a healthy baby at home in my arms.  Let’s keep up the work.  God’s not done here yet, I just know it!

O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.  Isaiah 25:1