As 2015 has only a few short hours until it comes to a crashing close, it's time to reflect on the year that's passed, and dream about the year that starts so very soon. A new chapter in your book. 365 blank pages to fill in any way you can imagine! Part of my ritual for the past few years as the New Year rolls around is to spend some time finding one word to focus on. One word that will be the theme for my year. What my goals and dreams are anchored on. I really enjoy the process of finding my word. I think about what's happened the past year and what I want to see happen in the next. I think about areas where I need guidance and focus. And I earnestly pray for God to lead me to my word. The one word He wants me to meditate on for the next year. The word God has just for me to stretch me and test me throughout the year.
For 2014, my word was Brave. I had just ventured out in a new business and I had to learn to talk to people in a way that made them believe in me. That was a stretch. In 2015, my word was Joyful. I felt led to find the JOY in every minute, and to not sweat the small stuff so much. I had found myself frustrated and stressed by being a parent and the messiness of it all, instead of loving the fleeting moments that all too soon will leave my house spotless, quiet, and EMPTY. The verse I focused on last year to accompany this new attitude for me was Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope." I wasn't perfect by any means, but when I asked my husband and kids if I had been more joyful this year, they all agreed I had been. I feel like I succeeded in focusing on that one concept and improving my daily outlook.
That brings us to today. One the Eve of a new year - 2016. I have been thinking about my word for a few weeks. Usually it's just a few days. As I mentioned in an earlier blog post, the winds of change are blowing HARD at the Weavers house this year, and I wanted to be intentional with my word. I wanted it to be something I could not only focus on, but lean in to. Learn, stretch, GROW. And even lead, teach and inspire! So, after much prayer, talk with my husband and friends, and thinking long and hard about what this word means to me, I am ready to dive in to 2016 with my focus on being GREATER.
I'm not 100% sure what exactly is going to be GREATER. I know some things in my life will increase. That's greater. I want to work hard at being a greater wife, a greater mom, and a greater follower of Christ. I want my faith to increase. I am confident 2016 as a year will be greater than 2015. Our family is on an upward trajectory over the past 4 years and I don't see that slowing down. But, God's plan for my year might be completely different than mine. What he wants me to be Greater at may be vastly opposed to what I want to be greater at. My verse for this year is John 3:30 "He must become greater; I must become less." I am putting my faith in God for this year. I can't wait to see what He unfolds before me and my family.
If you would like to find your One Word for 2016, I would love to help you! I can tell you more about how I come to mine each year, I can pray with you, or I can throw words at you until one of them sticks! LOL Or, the best way is to just reflect and pray and let God lead you to it. There is a You Version Bible reading plan designed to help you find your One Word as well. I have included a link to it here. Just click, and get started on your journey for 2016.
It's Christmas time. And right after that the New Year. That means its time for reflection, new horizons, goals and dreams. At the Weaver house, the winds of change are blowing pretty hard this season. And we're looking forward to a NEW 2016 and all the change that it brings. But today, I am reflecting on days gone by. Memories of the people and places and things that made me who I am today and remind me of what Christmas means to me.
Take a look at this Christmas Card picture from our family in 2011.
What do you see? Christmas greetings. Adorable kids. Fun photography. A tiny baby fighting for life. Cute owl graphics. Snow, ornaments, family names. A sweet card sent out with love and care to share with family and loved ones the blessings of the season.
Do you know what I see? Something missing. Each image shows me a memory, and a piece that's missing. My sweet friend Gabi made this card for us. She used those same owls on a sign that hung in our home, and then in my temporary hospital home that year to help keep me focused on a healthy baby. She used them on a website that helped raise funds for our tremendous medical bills. And she used them here to convey the hope and future of our family. Lives get busy, and I don't see her as much as I used to. I miss that... That bottom picture of the feet is missing somethings, too. Our talented friend Beth took that picture on a HOT July day in Oklahoma just after we discovered we were having our fourth baby, and this was our Big Reveal image to share with everyone. This was in the days shortly after we had lost my big brother. (FYI - standing like that and getting that shot was INCREDIBLY difficult and sweaty - Jake was 4 and the girls were 9: wiggly). Beth has moved on to Texas and is raising her own family now. We miss her. This image shows the hope we had for the pregnancy - which was dramatically cut short. I miss the expectation we had for a more normal gestation and infancy. (Don't get me wrong, so blessed by what we got instead, but I mourn the loss of a dream.) I miss being a family of 5. It was different; Finn changed everything. For the better, of course, but a definite divergence from where we were going. And my brother Brian. He wasn't here all the fun. 4th niece/nephew. NICU days. All the holidays, birthdays, milestones and moments from the last 4 years and 9 months. He missed it all. And I miss him. He should have been here for that picture, and all that came after it.
And up to the top 2 images. So much missing. How hard for those 3 little faces to have to deal with a family torn apart by 70 miles, illness, surgeries, stress and separation for a total of 5 months start to finish. They were SO BLESSED by all kinds of surrogates to stand in our stead as I fought for 2 lives, Britt tried to be in two places and once and all things to several people, and then as Finn started his journey into this world. But Emma, Lara and Jake were missing things, too. Normalcy. Mommy. Daddy. A brother they were only allowed to see through glass and touch with one finger for the longest time. A baby that didn't get to come home for Christmas. They weathered that storm so well. Built resilience. Taught them many tough life lessons. They are stronger for it. I miss those tiny faces and those effortless smiles.
And my sweet, sweet tiny miracle baby boy Finn. He brought joy to our world. And pain, and stress, and lessons, and LOVE. So much love. From every corner of our universe. So many people were touched by his presence, prayed for his life, and loved him without even knowing him. He spent that Christmas in the NICU. Santa came to see him there. We had a Christmas lunch in the car consisting of Lunchables and Capri Sun after we had opened presents at home just so we could see him and hold him that day. He was missing in our home that morning. And for the entire 3 months he spent in the hospital. He was missing from that sunny day picture at the top of the card. And his siblings are missing from this picture of him. So much separation! But so much to be thankful for!
2011 - NICU
2015 - Santa's Workshop
Little Dream Weavers - 2015
Emma (13), Jake (8), Finn (4), Lara (13)
As we get older and the kids get busier, we realize that the pictures of all 4 kids in one place at one time are going to get fewer and further between. But we always have the memories. The blessings. The lessons that made us who we are. Somethings may be missing, but nothing is missed. Every detail to our story has been written by the best Storyteller there ever was. We celebrate His birth and what he did for our world this Christmas season, and EVERY Christmas season. Thank you God, for sending your son, Jesus, to be our Savior. And thank you for being a better Writer of my story than I could ever imagine.
Merry Christmas and Happy New year from our home to
yours! 2015 found the Weavers with
seasons of growth and challenge, as well as adventure and celebration! We watched tweens become teenagers, a little
boy become at tween, and a toddler turn into a little boy. We moved, found new passions, and bought a
new (to us) car. There is never a dull
moment with a house as full as ours, and we wouldn’t have it any other way! We look forward to wrapping up these last few
days of 2015 as a family, and diving into new escapades in 2016.
THE GIRLS
Emma and Lara turned 13 and started the 8th grade
in 2015. They also saw their biological
dad remarry (again) and move closer to them that he has been in the last 12
years since our divorce. All of that
brought many changes, adjustments, and fine tuning along the way! Through all of this, Emma has emerged with a
new found love: horses! She has always
been my animal girl – especially puppies and dogs – but her step-mom is a horse
girl and introduced Emma to their care and nurture, and also to rodeo. Emma participated in several JRRA (Junior
ranch Rodeo Association) rodeos throughout the year and finished her first
season last month at the Finals in Pawhuska.
Along with her regular classes, an advanced Algebra class and an
advanced history class, she is also in her first year of Agricultural Education
classes and FFA membership at school, and all of this experience and knowledge
is helping her learn more about her hoped career path of becoming a
veterinarian. Lara, on the other hand,
is our “inside” girl! She is still
dancing every chance she gets. 5 hours
of classes on 2 nights each week at Encore! keeps her busy! She is taking a pointe class, as well as
classical ballet, lyrical ballet, and a jazz class. To accompany her regular class load and her
advanced English class, she went out on a limb and tried new things this
semester to be more involved at her school.
She tried out for winter guard (competition color guard) in November and
was thrilled to be chosen to join the Cadet team! She is very excited about this new adventure
and all the new things she is going to learn about spinning and competition
teams.
THE BOYS
Jake turned 8 at the first of the year, and is currently
5’1” and weighs about 112 pounds. He is
a giant among his peers, but he is our sweet, kind hearted little boy. He is a sports and video game fanatic! He played on a competitive baseball team in
the spring and summer (Stampede: first
base, third base, pitcher), his first tackle football team this fall (Cowboys:
D-line, O-line, Dedicated deep snapper), and is currently honing his basketball
skills with his teammates (Haymakers: big guy inside). If he’s not playing, practicing, or conditioning,
he’s watching sports on TV or playing video versions on his game system. He spouts off stats like they are spelling
words and has big dreams. He is in the 3rd
grade and is an excellent reader, a spelling champ, and a math wiz. He loves lunch, recess, and science (in that
order). His teachers rely on him to be
their helper, and we couldn’t be more proud of the friend he is to others. And then there is our Finicky, Feisty,
Fighter boy, Finn! He too has had quite
the year! Still attending pre-school at
the Methodist church and giving everyone a run for their money. As usual, he has spent a lot of time in doctors’
offices this year. We have graduated
from Hearts for Hearing (he finally passed all his hearing screenings!), and
only have to see his pulmonologist as needed instead of routinely. Plus, his pediatric ophthalmologist doesn’t
want to see him till he’s 6! The ENT has
cleared him as well unless he has issues.
But with the highs come some challenges as well. Early in the year, we were diagnosed by his
endocrinologist with Idiopathic (no specific cause) Short Stature (ISS). He was born with the diagnosis of “Small for
Gestational Age” (SGA), then coupling that with the ISS, we were tested for
deficiencies and then started Growth Hormone Therapy. He has been on nightly injections for about 6
months now and we are happy to report approximately 5 inches in growth! So ecstatic for him! Not only has he grown taller, but his overall
health is better, he is hitting more milestones on time, and his overall
outlook and demeanor are better. His HAIR
grew back in from all the bald spots from his twirling habit, and he needs new
(bigger ) clothes. We are still battling
eating and weight gain issues, but go back in February to work on those some
more with his gastroenterologist. Apart
from his medical things, Finn spent the summer taking private swimming lessons
to get over his fear of water. We came a
long way! We hope it lasts till next
summer. He was also honored to be chosen
as a featured preemie on the Mercy NICU wall of Hope and enjoyed being in the
spotlight a little it for that fun unveiling event. We love that his face and story can bring
hope and a light to others traveling through their NICU journey.
THE PARENTS
Britt and I are both still working at Oklahoma State
University. He celebrated his 10th year with
University Health Services this past fall, and I just marked my 2 year
anniversary with University Dining Services.
Being on a thriving and diverse college campus keeps us young and in the
know, and we really like it. We are also
enjoying watching our ******** business grow!
He has lost 95 pounds, I have lost 45, and we have grown a thriving business
along the way. It is truly a blessing to
help others be healthier, as well as show them how to have freedom from
financial debt and time burdens. We have
great visions for 2016 and what it can do for those around us! We want everyone to have the health and freedoms
we are enjoying! We are loving raising
our family, keeping busy, and growing and changing every day. Our latest BIG change is the used car we
recently purchased. Shortly after we got
married (9 years and 11 months ago), we bought our minivan. It was a year old at the time, a 2005 white
Chevrolet Uplander that we affectionately named “Derek” – as in Derek Zoolander
(after the Ben Stiller movie of the same name).
At some point in our young marriage, we bought a blue 1996 VW Cabrio
from my brother, and named it “Otto” – a nice German name for a nice German
Auto (don’tcha think?). When Finn came
along, Otto was sold and we bought a much BIGGER vehicle. A blue 1997 Ford Expedition that our then 5
year old aptly named “Rip” due to a small tear in the headliner that he noticed
as we drive it home. We just recently
traded the van for a timberline green 2009 Nissan Armada. Naming this behemoth (seating for 8!) has
been a challenge, and his name has changed a few times these past weeks. We have officially branded it “Hiro.” As in Hiro Armada. After our favorite animated character from
2015 Hiro Hamada (and Baymax) from the blockbuster movie Big Hero 6! Fitting, I would say!
Hiro Armada
So, here comes 2016!
We hope to start it with a BANG and never look back. We have big hopes and even bigger dreams for
the coming year. It is a good time to be
one of the Six Dream Weavers, and we can’t wait to see what God has in store
for us!
Hard to believe we have been doing nightly "flu shots" (growth hormone injections) with our little guy for 6 months! WOW! But, the calendar says we have, and it was time for a check-in with our endocrinologist at OU Children's Hospital. While we were looking forward to the visit and any news about our progress, we also knew we were in for updated tests and test results. And that process did not go very well last time, so we were a bit anxious about the process this time. Plus, it's really not ever FUN to take a kid to the hospital. Even when it is an excellent facility specifically geared towards tiny humans. It's stressful, and overwhelming, and exhausting.
Since Finn's appointment was scheduled for late morning, we took the whole day off work. The nice part about that is that we got to take all the other big kids to school before we left town. Such a special treat for all of us! So, by mid-morning we were OFF to Oklahoma City!
Finn watching a video in his sunglasses
He loves Rudolph
Half way there car selfie!
We got to the hospital right on time, and after a quick restroom break, we signed in an waited our turn too see Dr. George. Finn was so great when the intake nurse weighed him, measured him (3 times, of course!), and took his blood pressure! He really is becoming an old pro at all this doctor stuff! When Dr. George came in, and went over all the numbers with us, and did an exam of Finn. I love how he always takes him time with us, talks to us in a way we can understand, and really interacts with Finn the whole time. We never leave with any unanswered questions, and always feel well taken care of.
So here is what we learned this time! The GREAT news is, Finn responds VERY well to Growth Hormone Treatment. Since we last saw Dr. George in late August, Finn has grown 1.5 inches! He is now standing at 40.5" tall! We are so excited about this growth! Over the last 15 months as we have worked towards a diagnosis and started treatment, he has grown a total of 5.5 inches! He started in the 8th percentile, and now is in the 46th percentile. This is GREAT news and we are so happy for Finn!
But of course, where Finn is concerned, it's not always going to be smooth sailing. Unfortunately, since his last visit in August, Finn has only gained a few ounces in weight. From 30.1 lbs to 30.3 lbs. He is definitely not keeping up in this department. In August, he was in the 15th percentile for weight. This visit? He had dropped off to the 5th percentile. *sigh* We attribute some of it to the cold he's been fighting for a couple of weeks. We know at home he has weighed more, but even when Dr. George plugged in our "home" numbers he was not happy with the results. We have been seeing a pediatric GI doctor as well, and we see him again the first part of February. He has been pretty passive in the past, just giving us strategies and diet suggestions to get Finn to eat, but holding back on further testing and such. If Finn doesn't gain a bunch of weight by this next appointment, we may be looking at further GI testing.
Finn being cute in the exam room
So, our instructions as we left the office were to keep the GI follow up in February, schedule with Dr. George for a 3 month recheck, head to the lab for blood work (YUCK), get Finn's weight up, and (the doozy in my opinion) reduce his growth hormone dose by almost half. UGH. I totally get why. He's WAY too thin and we're not doing him any favors by not allowing his body to catch up a bit. But it still hurts to turn back on something that's been working so well. We're also going to keep a home weight log to be able to account for the ebbs and flows a little better between visits. Next stop, THE (dreaded) LAB!
As we headed out, the nurse put Lidocaine (numbing cream) and Tegaderm tape (clear Band-Aid) on both of Finn's arms. Again, he was such a trooper during all of this. The sweet nurse said it was lotion and the tape would hold it in place. Then she had his squish it so he could feel what it was like. He loved this! But, he also thought it rendered him unable to bend his arms!
"Look at my lotion!"
Seriously, we all thought it was so funny to watch him walk down the hall towards the elevator. I just had to capture this moment with a video. Here he is walking to the next destination - the lab!
Once we got to the lab, we were again extremely impressed with the way things are done at OU Children's! It is all so efficient, and family friendly! Finn was AMAZING! Once we were in the phlebotomists room, I told him he was going to sit up on the big chair. And he did. The nurse tied the tourniquet on his arm - which he didn't like, but stayed true and strong. He let her peel the band aids off, no issues! Now, when she got out the butterfly needle and he saw it, that was the first *flinch* we had seen. But, he got over it! The nurse got a good vein in one stick, gathered her 3 vials (!!!) of blood, and just like that, WE WERE DONE! Finn did such a great job. She let him pick which wrap he wanted for the stick site. He chose green dinosaurs!
While we wait for the blood test results (not expecting anything out of the ordinary), we are trying to feed him, and we will keep the home weight log. We see Dr. Altaf (the GI) in February and go back to Dr. George in May. Keep praying for positive growth, and for weight gain and fewer eating complications. We are so excited about how much the growth hormones have improved Finn's quality of life (less illness, less lethargy, more personality, more interactions, HEIGHT), but also want to make sure he is WHOLLY healthy so the eating issues have to be contained. While for the first time in his 4 years of life he actually feels hunger and asks for food, he is "full" within just a few bites, and is very hesitant to eat anything that's not Goldfish crackers, Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, or Pedia Sure. We can get some peanut butter, Nutella, and the occasional ice cream treat in there, too, but his diet is very limited!
Thanks for all the prayers and concerns. Finn is a fighter! And has a great suoport system. Including all of you!
