Honest? Honest.

Weddings.  New Babies.  Debilitating accidents. Devastating cancer diagnoses.  These are all life events.  BIG life events.  Events that bring people closer. That bring about tremendous changes.  And foster love, support and PRAYERS from family and community. We’ve all been there.  We’ve all shared these events.  We’ve all prayed for families in every one of these situations. 

But, I see something missing from this list.  (Obviously, MANY things are missing, but I’m focusing on one…)  Something that’s usually not broadcast to the masses.  Something private; personal.  Embarrassing, almost.  But it’s something that has impacted our family in a TREMENDOUS way the past few months, and we have decided to open up about it to ask for that love, glean caring support, and definitely petition your powerful prayers.

I am going to be very vulnerable now.  Honest. Transparent.  As some of you know, Britt lost his job of 11 years at OSU back at the beginning of the fall semester.  He has been fervently searching for a job since then.  He went through several interviews with a company about 2 months ago, and we thought we had that one locked down.  Until they quit corresponding with him and he had no way to get in touch with them.  (This actually happened twice, 2 different local companies.) Then, since Christmas, he had another job lined out and was supposed to start training yesterday.  All last week, he tried to verify, but with no responses.  So, he got up yesterday and headed to Tulsa (where the training would be).  About 15 miles away from his destination, someone finally called him back.  And told him there had been some miscommunication and he was not going to be training and the job he had applied for had been filled.  So, he is back to the drawing board.

Right after the first of the year, I also became unemployed.  At that point, we thought Britt would be starting a job on January 23, so while it was not ideal, we figured we could hold out a few more weeks.  With the events of yesterday, now we are facing the reality of what an overwhelmingly hard situation we are really in.  We are both applying for every job we are remotely qualified for.  But, we could use some help!  Prayer support, of course.  But, I have had a lot of good luck in the past with word-of-mouth for job openings!  Two of my favorite jobs in the past came to me through friends either recommending I apply and/or recommending me to the employer.  Any help you can give in this area is much appreciated as well.

The “How’s” and Why’s” about our current circumstances don’t really matter.  We don’t (generally) go around asking how a baby was conceived or details about whose fault the car wreck was that a friend got injured in.  So, we ask that instead of being concerned about those details, pray for the details we all know.  That Britt and I both need to be employed.  We are lucky to have the additional income from our ******** business and the cash Britt makes from being Stillwater’s BEST Uber driver, but we still need the added income and security a regular job offers.  Pray for provision for our family.  Pray that our kids can weather this storm with minimal negative side effects.  Pray for our marriage – stress is BAD for a marriage and we are feeling that tremendous pressure.  We are filled with faith that God has BIG things in store for both of us and He is simply taking this time to prepare us, but we waver in moments of doubt and anxiety.  Your loving support is cherished.

This song came on the radio as I drove Lara to her duties as a basketball team manager at 6:30 this morning.  It really spoke to me, and details the message I want to share today.  “Hold it all together Everybody needs you strong But life hits you out of nowhere And barely leaves you holding on. And when you're tired of fighting Chained by your control There's freedom in surrender Lay it down and let it go.

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held Just be held, just be held …”

From our inner circle, we have received many supportive phone calls and texts.  I want to share one of my favorites; the one I cling to: “There is something very special out there just waiting for you to find it.”  There is purpose in the process.  “Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place
I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held…”

Year in Review: 2015 Six Dream Weavers

Merry Christmas and Happy New year from our home to yours!  2015 found the Weavers with seasons of growth and challenge, as well as adventure and celebration!  We watched tweens become teenagers, a little boy become at tween, and a toddler turn into a little boy.  We moved, found new passions, and bought a new (to us) car.  There is never a dull moment with a house as full as ours, and we wouldn’t have it any other way!  We look forward to wrapping up these last few days of 2015 as a family, and diving into new escapades in 2016.  

THE GIRLS

Emma and Lara turned 13 and started the 8^th grade in 2015.  They also saw their biological dad remarry (again) and move closer to them that he has been in the last 12 years since our divorce.  All of that brought many changes, adjustments, and fine tuning along the way!   Through all of this, Emma has emerged with a new found love: horses!  She has always been my animal girl – especially puppies and dogs – but her step-mom is a horse girl and introduced Emma to their care and nurture, and also to rodeo.  Emma participated in several JRRA (Junior ranch Rodeo Association) rodeos throughout the year and finished her first season last month at the Finals in Pawhuska.  Along with her regular classes, an advanced Algebra class and an advanced history class, she is also in her first year of Agricultural Education classes and FFA membership at school, and all of this experience and knowledge is helping her learn more about her hoped career path of becoming a veterinarian.  Lara, on the other hand, is our “inside” girl!  She is still dancing every chance she gets.  5 hours of classes on 2 nights each week at Encore! keeps her busy!  She is taking a pointe class, as well as classical ballet, lyrical ballet, and a jazz class.  To accompany her regular class load and her advanced English class, she went out on a limb and tried new things this semester to be more involved at her school.  She tried out for winter guard (competition color guard) in November and was thrilled to be chosen to join the Cadet team!  She is very excited about this new adventure and all the new things she is going to learn about spinning and competition teams.  

THE BOYS

Jake turned 8 at the first of the year, and is currently 5’1” and weighs about 112 pounds.  He is a giant among his peers, but he is our sweet, kind hearted little boy.  He is a sports and video game fanatic!  He played on a competitive baseball team in the spring and summer (Stampede:  first base, third base, pitcher), his first tackle football team this fall (Cowboys: D-line, O-line, Dedicated deep snapper), and is currently honing his basketball skills with his teammates (Haymakers: big guy inside).  If he’s not playing, practicing, or conditioning, he’s watching sports on TV or playing video versions on his game system.  He spouts off stats like they are spelling words and has big dreams.  He is in the 3^rd grade and is an excellent reader, a spelling champ, and a math wiz.  He loves lunch, recess, and science (in that order).  His teachers rely on him to be their helper, and we couldn’t be more proud of the friend he is to others.  And then there is our Finicky, Feisty, Fighter boy, Finn!  He too has had quite the year!  Still attending pre-school at the Methodist church and giving everyone a run for their money.  As usual, he has spent a lot of time in doctors’ offices this year.  We have graduated from Hearts for Hearing (he finally passed all his hearing screenings!), and only have to see his pulmonologist as needed instead of routinely.  Plus, his pediatric ophthalmologist doesn’t want to see him till he’s 6!  The ENT has cleared him as well unless he has issues.  But with the highs come some challenges as well.  Early in the year, we were diagnosed by his endocrinologist with Idiopathic (no specific cause) Short Stature (ISS).  He was born with the diagnosis of “Small for Gestational Age” (SGA), then coupling that with the ISS, we were tested for deficiencies and then started Growth Hormone Therapy.  He has been on nightly injections for about 6 months now and we are happy to report approximately 5 inches in growth!  So ecstatic for him!  Not only has he grown taller, but his overall health is better, he is hitting more milestones on time, and his overall outlook and demeanor are better.  His HAIR grew back in from all the bald spots from his twirling habit, and he needs new (bigger ) clothes.  We are still battling eating and weight gain issues, but go back in February to work on those some more with his gastroenterologist.  Apart from his medical things, Finn spent the summer taking private swimming lessons to get over his fear of water.  We came a long way!  We hope it lasts till next summer.  He was also honored to be chosen as a featured preemie on the Mercy NICU wall of Hope and enjoyed being in the spotlight a little it for that fun unveiling event.  We love that his face and story can bring hope and a light to others traveling through their NICU journey.

THE PARENTS

Britt and I are both still working at Oklahoma State University.   He celebrated his 10^th year with University Health Services this past fall, and I just marked my 2 year anniversary with University Dining Services.  Being on a thriving and diverse college campus keeps us young and in the know, and we really like it.  We are also enjoying watching our ******** business grow!  He has lost 95 pounds, I have lost 45, and we have grown a thriving business along the way.  It is truly a blessing to help others be healthier, as well as show them how to have freedom from financial debt and time burdens.  We have great visions for 2016 and what it can do for those around us!  We want everyone to have the health and freedoms we are enjoying!  We are loving raising our family, keeping busy, and growing and changing every day.  Our latest BIG change is the used car we recently purchased.  Shortly after we got married (9 years and 11 months ago), we bought our minivan.  It was a year old at the time, a 2005 white Chevrolet Uplander that we affectionately named “Derek” – as in Derek Zoolander (after the Ben Stiller movie of the same name).  At some point in our young marriage, we bought a blue 1996 VW Cabrio from my brother, and named it “Otto” – a nice German name for a nice German Auto (don’tcha think?).  When Finn came along, Otto was sold and we bought a much BIGGER vehicle.  A blue 1997 Ford Expedition that our then 5 year old aptly named “Rip” due to a small tear in the headliner that he noticed as we drive it home.  We just recently traded the van for a timberline green 2009 Nissan Armada.  Naming this behemoth (seating for 8!) has been a challenge, and his name has changed a few times these past weeks.  We have officially branded it “Hiro.”  As in Hiro Armada.  After our favorite animated character from 2015 Hiro Hamada (and Baymax) from the blockbuster movie Big Hero 6!  Fitting, I would say!

Hiro Armada

So, here comes 2016!  We hope to start it with a BANG and never look back.  We have big hopes and even bigger dreams for the coming year.  It is a good time to be one of the Six Dream Weavers, and we can’t wait to see what God has in store for us!

“Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon”

That is a quote from the incomparable Winnie the Pooh.  He loved balloons!  Come to think of it, I’ve had a few dogs that love balloons, too.  And all my kids seem to go crazy over them.  I distinctly remember Emma playing with her first balloon at about 10 months old.  Lara had one, too, but for some reason Emma’s reactions stick out in my mind.  But I digress.  All of that has nothing to do with my post today.  I got off on a tangent! Time to reign it back in…

This past weekend, Britt, Jake, Finn and I got to be a part of a very memorable time in some dear friends’ of ours lives.  (Emma and Lara were with their other dad at the time.)  Jenny and Brian are pregnant with their first child, and this weekend they had a little get together to see if “Baby B” as they were calling it would in fact be a boy or a girl.  You may recall that Britt and I had a similar gathering, and we cut a cake to reveal the batter color indicating if Shocker would be a girl or a boy.  Our friends too it to the next level – using BALLOONS filled with helium in a big cardboard box.  It was SO FUN to watch.  But first, I have to tell about the games we were subjected too.  She had a 3 stage “Daddy Olympics” of sorts that my fabulous husband got to participate in – and he survived the first 2 rounds!  Round one had 8 dads from the audience chugging water form a baby bottle (the first 6 finished moved on):

Notice Britt was the only man on team Pink.  Or at least the only one man enough to don a pink shirt!

Then, they had to CORRECTLY diaper and put a onsite on a baby doll.  There was some cheating going on here!  I knew Britt would excel at this one – he was the only dad with an infant on the panel!  He even cuddled and burped his baby when he was done!  The 4 fastest moved on…

Round 3 was a pacifier spitting contest.  (Think watermelon seeds…) This was pretty funny.  All 4 daddies had very different techniques, and I have to give my hubby props because he came in second!  And there are not any pictures of this event as my camera freaked out about this time, and really, what can possible be more attractive that the ones above from the bottle chugging… ;)

With our friend Darci (who was also on team PINK with me), I got to help MC a game of “Old Wives Tales” where Jenny was asked 15 questions related to old wives tales that “predicted” the gender of the baby.  As you can see from the board at the end of the game, it was VERY heavy on the “boy” side…

After everyone had voted pink or blue, cast a lot for the corresponding name they thought the parents had picked, consumed fun foods based on her cravings, cute blue and pink treats, and LOTS of bottled water to stave off the heat, and the games were all done, the time had FINALLY come.  A friend of Jenny’s had the dubious job of acquiring the balloons in the correct color and sealing them in the box.  The guests all gathered around Jenny’s mom’s side yard to watch the happy couple open the box.  Here is the video I took revealing the gender of Baby B:

It’s a BOY!  The look on Jenny’s face is priceless!  She has lots of little boys in her family, so I know she will get lots of good advice.  And of course, she can always ask me, too.  We are so excited for them and look forward to welcoming Braxton Wayne in November!  

Jenny and Brian – thanks for including us in your big day!  LOVE you guys!

And lastly, I have to mention the HEAT (previously alluded to in the party wrap-up)!  While it is oppressive, this week is the first week we’ve hit triple digits, and by this time last year, we had been in the thick of it for almost a month.  And, it still looks like this summer will be better than last summer.  I am trying to not complain about the heat, because NOTHING can compare to the misery I was in last summer with the record breaking heat, my complicated pregnancy, and an old home and air conditioner that simple could not keep up.  I am a million times better off this summer, and for that I HAVE to be grateful!  Thank you Lord, for providing!

Been BUSY!

I hinted at the end of my last post that I had a fun little adventure coming up the next day!  We sure did!  Not only did Daddy stay home on Thursday to get caught up around the house and to rest a little bit, but he also had Friday off.  But it was not as relaxing.  We were all 6 up and out of the house by 8am.  The 3 big kids off to school, and Britt, Finn and I off for our adventure.

This was Finn’s first trip that wasn’t to a doctor’s office or my mom’s house for a couple of hours.  We were off to Enid, America!  Finn (and therefore Britt and I) had been invited to “speak” at the Oklahoma Blood Institute staff meeting this month!  They love for blood product recipients to come and show them what all their hard work translates to.  While I knew I was speaking, and basically what I should cover, I really had no idea what to expect!  We made the trip in slightly over an hour, and Finn did really well in the car.  Once there, we were introduced to the crowd gathered in a small conference room, and I got to tell our miracle story – that included 6 blood transfusions!  The audience was GREAT, and my friend who invited us to speak even had a few pictures she stole from facebook in a slide show for me to use along with my talk!  What a nice surprise!  The audience was so receptive – ooh’d and ahh’d in all the right places – and they were SO EAGER to meet Finn when I was done.  Britt had been out in the hall with him, and it was like winning an academy award when we showed our sweet boy off to the folks in that room.  They were so impressed by his fight and his triumph!  I really enjoy public speaking, and they asked some excellent questions, so the whole experience really quite enjoyable!

Finn, Daddy and Mommy @OBI in Enid

A bonus to being in Enid – a trip to the in-laws!  We spent a few hours with them where they got to feed and love on Finn, and they even took us to lunch at the new gourmet hot dog place in town. That was Finn’s first trip out in public, and first trip to a restaurant!  He is back on quarantine for now…  The break from reality and getting out of the house made for an enjoyable day.  But, we had to hurry back to Stillwater to switch cars and get me on the road south to Oklahoma City!  I had another engagement to go to!

I met my sweet friend Jenny at First Church of the Nazarene in Bethany, OK for a Girls Night Live event featuring Mandisa and Laura Story.  If you go back to the blog entries around the time of my brother’s death, you can see songs posted on entries by both of these amazing ladies!  I have been a Mandisa fan since she was on season 5 of American Idol, and I love following her antics on facebook and twitter.  She is truly an inspiration.  Lucky for Jenny and I, we had early entry passes, and we got seats on the FRONT row!  It really was a great concert and a wonderful time of fellowship, singing, and dancing.  It was over a bit earlier than I anticipated, so I was back in Stillwater pretty early –just in time to get home to my sweet baby Finn who had just fallen asleep after what I hear was a VERY ROUGH evening!  He got off schedule and I suppose a bit overstimulated, and he had a hard time recovering.  But super dad handled it perfectly!

Jenny and I at Girls Night Live!

Saturday was fun as well.  That morning, after my husband shaved off his seasonal beard, the hair on his head, and his standard goatee and mustache (I was mortified, but am getting used to it), we ran some errands as a family, taking turns staying in the car with Finn.  After lunch, it was a GIRLS DAY as the twins, my mom and I went treasure hunting around Stillwater. We found some fun treasures, got some fun ideas, and enjoyed each other’s company.  Sunday was church and a lazy Sunday afternoon, getting the last few things ready for the girls’ “State Night” at school tomorrow night.  I can’t wait to tell all about that – it sounds like they are really going to have a good time and put on a neat presentation.   It was a fun weekend all around!  Now,back to quiet days at home with my baby for the week.  I think we both need it!

Human Moment

First off, welcome to the new blog!  All of the old blog posts from the fivedreamweavers site are still here, we just thought it was time to use our new family name and address for the blog.  Plus, I know I was tired of looking at a picture of my family's feet!  LOL!  Please take a moment to look around and check out all the features.  I tried to migrate all the things from the old site, as well as add some new things, so if something doesn't seem quite right or a link doesn't work, please feel free to let me know!  This is still a work in progress.  I'd like to thank The Cutest Blog on the Block for the cute templates and artwork, and @JakeWeaverSays for making the final decision on the background!  I think he liked it because of all the orange, but it made the final choices list for not only the orange, but the blue, and the chevron pattern as well - all some of my favorite things these days!  I think it's a perfect way to decorate this new chapter in our lives!

Yesterday, I got to experience a "Human Moment" that really made my heart sing.  My human moments may not be the same as Bella Swan-Cullen's, but when your existence consists of the 4 walls of a small, dark house in (an albeit mild) winter, getting out of the house is quite a feat - something that used to be so typical and NORMAL 6 months ago!  Because of the biannual Adorable Affordables consignment sale I participate in, my dining room table has been taken over with piles and piles of clothes, gear, and STUFF, with high intentions of getting it sorted and tagged.  But, yesterday Finn was a HIGH NEEDS baby, plus it was a school (but not work for Britt) holiday, so I had Emma, Lara and Jake to entertain, too.  Another true Mother of 4 Day!  The big kids were great all day - did lots of chores with minimal whining, played nicely with each other, even spent the majority of an hour outside making up games to play - but when they ran out of something to do, they had to have my intervention, making progress on the sale items very slow.  By 11:30am I was DESPERATE for a Diet Coke and a BREAK!  Of course when Daddy got home for lunch a mere hour later, everyone was being good, but he brought me the Diet Coke and things immediately seemed much better! ;) Needless to say, come dinner time, the table still looked like a closet bomb had gone off, so it was time for a new plan.  This is where my human moment comes in.  We actually loaded all 4 kids up in the car, and went to Chick-fil-a!  Now, don't get too excited, Finn and Britt stayed in the car, while I took the big kids in.  I forgot Monday nights are so busy there, so we had to stalk out a table, but I ran into some folks I have known for 30 years, enjoyed a meal with my excitable kiddos, and got to be out in public without worrying about hurrying home to relieve a babysitter and check on my fragile baby!  I felt human - for the first time in a long while.  Thank you, Britt Weaver, for making that possible and for being SUCH a great dad and husband! And for making parenting my favorite job of all!

As for sweet, chubby cheeked Mr. Finn, he is doing well.  Last week was a little intense as he had a stomach bug, and we had no idea what to do for him or how to help him, plus we were scared to death it would turn into something respiratory, which is super bad for him.  It lasted about 4 (long, agonizing, sleepless, GROSS) days, and we did go to the pediatrician to make sure we were doing the right things - which for a newborn is really nothing but to let it runs its course and stay hydrated.  He got his first taste of something other than breast milk or formula in the form of pedialite.  He drank it like a champ!  The doctor said we would know he was staying hydrated as long as he was having wet diapers, and crying real tears.  Well, up until the time of the appointment, he had not cried real tears yet.  I know infants don't do that right away.  But, lo and behold, a few hours after the visit to the clinic, he was hurting and mad, and REAL TEARS came running down his cheeks! Such a bittersweet moment for Mommy!  Finn weighed in at 9 pounds 10 ounces last Wednesday - in the middle of his sickness.  So, he hadn't lost any weight, but he was definitely not gaining like he was before he got sick.  He is now feeling MUCH better, and seems to be eating better, so I am sure he is making up for the few days he lost while sick.   It's been a pretty quite few days for him since then.  He has started smiling occasionally - almost on accident - but still cute.He is also cooing up a STORM.  He has to speak up to get a word in edgewise in this crazy house!  It's so fun to watch him work his mouth and tongue then to hear a sound come out!  He is also finally grasping at toys (or his oxygen tube) or his bottle and starting to play a little bit.  He has become a professional at removing his cannula and adhesive dots on his face that hold it in place, so we got the go ahead to turn the oxygen down to 1/4 liter on Sunday at church when we saw our pediatrician there.  So, maybe only a couple of more weeks with that!  Keep praying!

I also want to send up a shout out and ask for prayers for my cousin who lives in New York.  She is pregnant with her 2nd child and has been on hospital bed rest since the week before Christmas due to preterm premature rupture of membranes (PPROM - same thing I had, but her has been a slow, replenishing leak, while mine was accompanied by unexplained bleeding, which led to placental aburption, and spontaneous rupturing of the membranes at 26 weeks 5 days).  She will be 34 weeks at the end of this week, and it looks like she will have her baby girl before the end of the week!  We are praying for a safe and easy delivery, a well baby and healthy mommy, and a very short NICU stay!

Finn Firsts

Not much to report on the Finn front today.  We seem to have hit a plateau.  Things started trending downward with his blood work last Wednesday, and by Saturday he needed a blood transfusion - his 6th.  During the blood transfusion, they hold his feeds, so not only did he get an IV for the blood, but also for IV nutrition as well.  While he was looking kind of cute with a hep lock in each hand poking out over his blanket, I know it’s not comfortable for him.  Typically after a transfusion, Finn perks right up and takes off in the right direction.  But, he has been pretty sluggish since this last one came about.  He is having trouble taking all of his feeds by bottle, he’s lethargic, and he is relying heavily on his oxygen support.  All these things are not getting us home any time soon.  He’s not worse, but he’s definitely not better.  And we’re not moving forward at this point.

All this frustration, plus the holidays, missing my brother, all the cars I use to go back and forth having some kind of issue and grounding me in Stillwater for the next few days, and flat being worn out brought about a massive pity party by yours truly this morning.  Somehow, I managed to drag Britt into it as well, I’m that good.  So, to try to perk myself up, I made a little movie of some of the new things Finn has done in the past 10 days and uploaded it to YouTube:

The blood transfusion also caused him to retain some fluid, so (as I suspected) the declaration of being in the 5 pound club on facebook Saturday night was a bit premature.  He weighed in at 4 pounds 15 ounces last night after 3 doses of Lasix, so I think that is a more accurate representation of his weight.  We should hit the 5 pound mark tonight, though.  Another big milestone, for sure!  Now, if he would just perk up and make some forward strides!  Still praying for a Christmas miracle!

10 days on this planet

It was 10 days ago that my little Mr. Finn joined us!  I am sitting in the back seat of my parent’s car as we whiz down I-35 on the all too familiar drive between Mercy and Stillwater.  We have just spent the evening with sweet Finn – he is now topping the scales at 2 pounds and 1.5 ounces!  He is also tolerating the new oscillating ventilator he was put on last night – but more on that later.  When we got there tonight, he was on his tummy with his tiny little tush up in the air – my favorite!  We missed the opportunity to change his diaper and take his temperature by a few minutes, but it was still worth the trip to just to stare at him and marvel at his development and accomplishments.  We love watching him try to grab for the tubes and wires he has around him, as well as stretch those tiny feet and legs.  Plus, he tried super hard to raise his chin!  He is so strong and such a fighter!  Since it has been ten days, (technically, he was born on the 5^th and today is the 16^th, but it WAS almost midnight, after all!), I decided the best way to chronicle the roller coaster events was to just list the highlights, so here we go!

Thursday, October 6

• My sister-in-love had surgery scheduled for early that morning across the street, so she and her husband were the first visitors Finn had!

• At 9:00 am, they were making me move rooms (with all my STUFF I had accumulated thinking I would be there much longer) right in the middle of my morning meds, my family arriving, and the lactation consultant visit!   WHEW!

• My Mom and Dad came down to meet their newest grandson, and they brought Emma, Lara and Jake to meet their tiny baby brother.

• The first two interventions for Finn (besides IV fluids for nutrition) were the ventilator (which at this point was at very low settings for a baby of his size!), and 3 banks of the blue photo therapy lights used to fight the bilirubin levels in the blood that cause jaundice.

• Britt stayed overnight in the WORST hospital recliner EVER!

Friday, October 7

• This day, we were blessed with a lot of visitors!  Some with early birthday presents for me, some to meet Finn, and some surprised to learn of his birth!

• As we knew he would, Finicky Finn lost some weight, but was doing all the things a micro-preemie of his gestational age should be doing.  Nothing scary; nothing too worrisome.

• I did have a little breakdown mid-morning when I felt like I had no idea what was going on with my son.  Britt called the NICU and got our nurse to explain a lot of things to us.  It was just a case of they didn’t know what we didn’t know, but this conversation was so revealing and reassuring!

• My Mom and Dad came again this evening to love on their sweet grandson, and to celebrate my birthday with me.

• Several of my girlfriends from my LifeGroup brought birthday dinner, birthday presents, baby presents, and LOTS of love for both me and Finn.  It was so fun to introduce my sweet babies to  all our visitors today, but especially to these women who have shown so much support over the past few months.

Saturday, October 8

• Happy 37^th Birthday TO ME!!!!!

• I was told by the rounding physician that I could go home today, but I really wanted to stay another day, so I asked, and received!

• My amazing husband and kids came down to spend the day with me, and they decorated my door and room with party decorations a friend had sent earlier in the week – pre-baby!  It was super festive and fun!

• Britt’s parents came over from Enid to meet their grandson.

• We had LOTS of birthday visitors, again!

•  I got my PICC line out – what a relief!

• Finn’s night nurse for this evening turned out to be a childhood friend of mine!  Such a joy to know he is in such good hands and with someone who cares about our family personally!

Sunday, October 9

• This morning was ROUGH.  Knowing we were being discharged, but leaving our most precious family member there was not a comforting feeling.  Add to that some confusion about hospital grade breast pump rental, and I was an emotional mess

• Britt and I both broke down as we left the parking lot!  So hard to leave my tiny baby behind, but there were other kids at home who had not had their mom for months.  It was a hard decision, but I know I made the right one.

• Once we left the hospital, we stopped by Target for a few things I needed, then on to Babies R Us, as we had to buy a breast pump!  The rental fiasco had left me leaving the hospital to go home without a way to harvest milk for my baby boy.  Nothing a few hundred dollars won’t fix, I guess…

• When we arrived (finally) in Stillwater, I asked to be dropped off at my parents’ house so they could “baby” me while Britt ran a couple of errands and gathered our kids up from where they stayed for the day.

• SUCH a joy to have my 3 big Dream Weaver kids with me in a comfortable environment!  I really cherished this evening with them – even if I was trying to recover from major surgery!  So happy!

Monday, October 10

• Today, I “moved in” with my friends who live close to the hospital in the city.  They are so gracious to let me stay and to let me go, too.  And, since I can’t drive, they take me everywhere, too!  I am one lucky Mom!

• Trying to get into my “new” routine.  Hard to sleep, still on lots of pain meds, pumping 7-8 times (including in the pumping rooms at the hospital outside the NICU) a day, trying to spend as much time with little Finn as possible.

• Finn has lost a little more weight, but has evened out.  He is also still under 3 banks of photo-therapy lights for the jaundice.

Tuesday, October 11

• I had a rough morning – not looking forward to spending the WHOLE day at the hospital again, not knowing what to expect with Finn, missing my husband, my kids, my home…

• BUT!  ***I GOT TO HOLD MY SON!!!***  This was my first session of “Kangaroo Care” with my baby, and I held him for about an hour.  Made this morning’s meltdown all worth it.

• My milk had also finally come in, so I was finally pumping enough to feel like I was contributing to Finn’s nutrition – even though he wasn’t even using it yet.

• And, after I held him, they removed the blue lights!  SUCH a great day! (Let the roller coaster begin!)

Wednesday, October 12

• One week old TODAY!

• In celebration, I had cheesecake with my lunch in the hospital cafeteria (my daily stop for nourishment!)

• I also got to Kangaroo Finn today for about 3 hours.  Pure BLISS!

• Finn received his first blood transfusion today.  He is so small he can’t produce new blood as fast as he is using it; plus add to that all the nurses draw for tests and such.

• Speaking of blood tests, they saw some markers in his previous tests that indicate he might be starting to fight an infection, so they started him on broad spectrum antibiotics.

• As a result, they are starting a blood culture to see what kind of infection he is fighting.

•  And, one back of the blue lights is back.  :(  WHEW!  Busy Finn day!

• Happy News is that I caught a ride back to Stillwater for the night and got to have dinner at the Hideaway with my LifeGroup!  SUCH great fellowship!

Thursday, October 13

• My mom wanted to see Finn, so after we dropped the Big Dream Weaver kids at school, we headed back down to see the baby.

• More Kangaroo care this afternoon!  I held him about 2 hours today before he got too wiggly and needed to go back.  Put a new fun white cap on for this session!

• Finn had gained back up past his birth weight , weighing in at 1 pound 15 ounces

• Finn started breast milk feedings today!  0.5 cc’s every 4 hours.  The nurses call it “half a drop!”  If he tolerates it well he will get more  - today was just to see if his guts were working, not so much for nutrition

Friday, October 14

• Dad was not feeling well this morning, but came down and hang out with his wife and son after a nap!  We went out for lunch together and it was so nice.

• Since Finn was tolerating milk well, his feedings were increased to 1 cc (a FULL drop!) every 4 hours.

• Dad got to experience his first Kangaroo Care session!

• Unfortunately, it was cut short as Finn was not tolerating it well.  The nurses and doctors had already determined that Finn’s body was not changing the oxygen he was taking in into carbon dioxide like it should, and the numbers were higher than they wanted them.  So, they started making adjustments to his ventilator to see if they could help him with that..

• We left the city to get back to our other kids thinking they would find the right combination of pressure, oxygen and repetitions to get him going again soon.

• Ran by Babies R Us to finish up our registry there before we got home to the other kids!

• Got to our home to find his birth certificate in the mail box!

Saturday, October 15

• Woke up to a Saturday morning with my kids!  Finished our registries by going to Wiggles and Giggles downtown, had Eskimo Joe’s for lunch, and then loaded up the whole gang and headed to the city to see Finn!

• We were met by some fun visitors, but this whole time, we knew things weren’t quite right with Finn, his breathing, and his blood gas. 

• After some fun brother pictures and an opportunity for the girls to love on Finn, we went to Target to finish up our registry there.

• One last trip in to see Finn, and we were greeted by the doctor to talk about Finn’s issues.

• The changes made to the ventilator were not changing the blood gas numbers, so they also started Lasix to see if that would help.

• We left asking for more prayers for Finn, knowing they had found his chest tube to be too small and had switched it out.

• The numbers were still not correcting, so they decided to switch him from a traditional ventilator, to an oscillator.

• By 11pm, his numbers were on the rise!

Sunday, October 16

• Called early to check on Finn, and his numbers were up again! PRAISE!  The oscillator was working!

• Enjoyed a lazy morning with the kids and went to church and lunch like a normal family!

• My parents wanted to go see Baby Finn this afternoon, so I rode with them, too.  We enjoyed our time with him, even though the oscillating ventilator was noisy and a bit scary, and it make Finn look like he was shaking.  But, we know it is what he needs, and his numbers still continue to look good!

• Feeding amount is up to 1.5 cc’s every 4 hours!  He is tolerating it well and digesting it!

• His weight is up to 2 pounds and 1.5 ounces!  YAY, Finn!

I am hitching a ride back to the city EARLY tomorrow morning!  I could probably drive by now, but I don’t feel ready, and this weekend Britt and I are getting a little “vacation” courtesy of our LifeGroup.  It is Fall Break for our schools, our kids are all taken care of, and he and I are spending the weekend in a hotel, hanging out with Finn, and getting re-acquainted with each other!  (NOT like that – I just had surgery, but it was in a Catholic hospital and they didn’t do my tubal ligation!)  We still covert your prayers.  We know this NICU ride is a roller coaster, and we have really just begun!  Thanks for letting me share this journey with you!

Double Digits

Well, lookie there!  My ticker is down to 99 days!  Double Digits!  I remember reaching this milestone in my pregnancy with Jake and being really excited!  While I am excited, it comes with a whole different meaning this time.  I have been in this hospital room 2 weeks today.  I will be 26 weeks pregnant tomorrow.  One week left in the 2nd trimester.  My birthday is next week.  All kinds of markers being reached in the next few days!  But, the only marker I want to recognize is that I am STILL pregnant!  Every day counts at this point!

I had some pretty serious bleeding overnight Tuesday night, which left me crampy, frustrated, and lethargic yesterday.  I got a surprise visit from my AMAZING husband in the middle of the day which helped my mood immensely, and we actually napped together for a bit while he was here, so that made me feel better not only for myself, but for his physical well being as well.  I know this whole ordeal has to be taking its toll on him, too.

I know he is physically tired - we were often tired from the wear and tear of 3 kids, 2 full time jobs, and a household to run when I was home.  I can only imagine what that’s like for him now.  We are blessed with the help of my wonderful parents, but coordinating everything can be just as tiring as actually carrying out the tasks.  I know he ismentally worn out as well.  He is sad and he misses us.  Two of the most important people in his life are far away, and there is nothing he can do to hold us or protect us.  That has to be heartbreaking (I know it is for me, too).  And then when he is able to come, it’s over 2 hours in the car round trip.  When you are already physically and mentally exhausted, that can be torturous.  I just want to take a moment to honor him here, publicly, and say THANK YOU to everyone who is trying (and succeeding) at lightening his load, but to also remind you to keep praying for him. And a surprise drink from Sonic might just make his day! Britt Weaver, I love you, and I think you are doing an AMAZING job with the lot you’ve been given the past 2 weeks, and I know you are strong and can do this!  Thank you for taking on this challenge so gracefully.  I pray for you constantly!

I also want to say thank you to everyone who has visited, send cards, brought gifts, and generally made this all a bit more bearable.  The guest book is getting full - and I’ve accidentally let a few people go without signing it!  I am overwhelmed with your generosity and your thoughtfulness.  This room is definitely a lot more homey today than the day I got here when there was no guest furniture, just a hospital bed and a bunch of equipment!  Also want to say thank you, again, to the folks from my LTC lifegroup who went the extra mile to set up the Weaver Support Fund.  This gesture was totally unexpected, and we are truly grateful for the blessing it will be in months to come.

PS - I woke up exhausted this morning.  I dreamed - more than once - that I was not pregnant with one son, but with triplet girls!  I guess it could ALWAYS be worse!